Charlie and Erika's AMA on Marriage

00:00:03 Speaker 1: My name is Charlie kirk I run the largest pro American student organization in the country, fighting for the future of our republic. My call is to fight evil and to proclaim truth. If the most important thing for you is just feeling good, you're gonna end up miserable. But if the most important thing is doing good, you'll end up purposeful. College is a scam, everybody. You got to stop sending your kids to college. You should get married as young as possible and have as many kids as possible. Go start at turning point, you would say, college chapter. Go start attorny point, you say high school chapter. Go find out how your church can get involved. Sign up and become an activist. I gave my life to the Lord in fifth grade, most important decision I ever made in my life, and I encourage you to do the same. Here I am Lord, Use me. Buckle up, everybody, Here we go. Noble Gold Investments is the official gold sponsor of the Charlie Kirkshaw, a company that specializes in gold I rays and physical delivery of precious metals. Learn how you could protect your wealth with Noble Gold Investments at noblegold investments dot Com. That is Noblegold Investments dot Com. Hello everyone, very special hour episode for you today. My wife joins us Erica Kirk, the beautiful legendary Erica, I love you so much. I love you. Welcome to the Charlie Kirkshow thanks, I'm stoked. So we are. We have asked the audience for questions. 00:01:34 Speaker 2: Yes, they had. They came up with some great ones. 00:01:37 Speaker 1: There are some not so great ones too that Daisy had to. There are some X rated ones too, weren't there, Daisy? Yeah, we not good, not not radio appropriate, not appropriate for anybody. I don't know. All right, so we are taking your questions and hopefully we'll be able to answer any thoughts that you have. 00:01:58 Speaker 2: Great do you want to take that? You choose the first one, I'll pepper in the next one. 00:02:02 Speaker 3: All right, there's a few of them. 00:02:05 Speaker 1: Well, this one's easy. How long have you been married and when did you know it was time to get married. 00:02:09 Speaker 2: We've been married since twenty twenty one, engaged twenty twenty. 00:02:14 Speaker 1: So four years. 00:02:14 Speaker 2: Four years. We laugh about this because our dates are so messed up because of babies, meaning there's so many dates to remember. 00:02:23 Speaker 1: I know, I get at the anniversary. 00:02:25 Speaker 2: Anniversaries like kid's birth birthday eighteenth. Yeah, all this thing. How did we so we've been. 00:02:33 Speaker 1: Married for how did you know it was time to get married? 00:02:35 Speaker 2: I mean almost four years? 00:02:37 Speaker 1: I proposed and she said. 00:02:38 Speaker 2: Yes, how did we know? We just you just know. 00:02:42 Speaker 1: It's also what, don't waste your time, right. 00:02:44 Speaker 2: Don't waste your time? And plus we were ready to start our life together. 00:02:49 Speaker 1: That's right. 00:02:51 Speaker 2: Okay, it was an easy one. 00:02:52 Speaker 1: That's easy. You pick one who. 00:02:55 Speaker 2: Is more conservative and why Erica? 00:02:59 Speaker 1: Yes, by far, not even close. I am a moderate to Erica. 00:03:05 Speaker 2: Andrew always jokes that once you got married to me, you got more based. 00:03:08 Speaker 1: That's true. That is true. No, Erica is very conservative. And yeah I was raised well, Yes, you have a great. 00:03:17 Speaker 2: Mom, great mom. My grandparents were amazing fiercely right wing. Yes, my grandfather was an immigrant from Sweden and fought in World War Two and the Korean War. Yeah, and he got the Silver Star, the Bronze Star and knighted by the King of Sweden and he was always super far right. 00:03:40 Speaker 1: Do you think having kids made you more conservative? 00:03:44 Speaker 2: In which I didn't think was possible, but one percent absolutely do you and a better wife and a better wife. 00:03:53 Speaker 1: Do you think that a lot of the fact that kid that young women are liberals because they don't have kids. 00:03:59 Speaker 3: Usually, typically young women are liberals because they don't have kids. I'm asking you, No, I wouldn't say that, because I have some friends who are still not married and don't have kids, and they're conservative and they're finding it hard to find a mate. But if you're saying traditionally speaking like the women who don't have kids are more left leaning because they choose not to have kids, that's a whole different topic, whole different. 00:04:28 Speaker 1: They consider kids to being a burden. 00:04:31 Speaker 2: A nuisance. But no, it's me and but also too, you have to understand and that also goes back to how'd you know it was time to get married? Understanding your biblical role as a wife and a mother and knowing that you're ready to step into that motherhood, that being a wife, and that type of era of your life if you will. 00:04:53 Speaker 1: So, uh, here's a good one. What traits should conservative women be looking for in men? And vice versa? 00:05:01 Speaker 2: Ooh, I know one of the questions deals with do you want to I was gonna go off one of the questions that talked about the apps, but I think women for looking for their future spouse needs to hone in on the fact is he going to lead you closer to Christ or further away. Make sure you're equally yoked. That's so important. Make sure that you are not looking for a man who or you know, the men that are just they're grabbing the low hanging fruit, meaning on the apps. Women get upset when they go on a date with a guy they found on an app and all of a sudden they ghost them, or all of a sudden they're just not communicating with them anymore. To me, it's because the guy didn't have to hunt for them. Not saying they have to hunt for a woman, but they do have to seek out a wife. And since they didn't have to, they made it so easy on an app to just press a button. It's just a number in their head, like you want to be so much more than I'm not saying apps are bad. I mean they're not the greatest thing. I've had friends who did find their significant other on an app. But the likelihood, it's like the lottery. The likelihood of you finding your future husband or wife on an app is a lot less likely to happen, So that to say I'm still blessed. It's so hard because I want I literally want the jackpot. 00:06:32 Speaker 1: With my husband vice versa. 00:06:34 Speaker 2: That's really hard. 00:06:36 Speaker 1: I will say women should look for men that have self control and men should look for women that are willing to submit, which is basically a non feminist woman right. 00:06:48 Speaker 2: But the whole topic of submission becomes that word really lights people on fire. 00:06:54 Speaker 1: It's biblical, I know. 00:06:56 Speaker 2: Women, It's beautiful marriage in the right context, so beautiful because your husband will give up anything and everything for you in a healthy manner, but they will literally love you and honor you and cherish you above all and put all the noise aside and focus on wife, children, family. 00:07:19 Speaker 1: Daisy says there were quite a number of questions on submission, so okay, dive more into that. 00:07:24 Speaker 2: Okay. For me, as a wife, my biblical role is to be the helpmate to my husband. That does not mean I'm less than you, and that does not mean that I am above you. Thank goodness. I love that you lead our home. I love that you are such a You are so intentional with your faith, and you are so intentional with just how you are as a father and a husband, but as a wife. I am to quote unquote submit to you, which is a beautiful word, by the way, because that's the order of how it's supposed to go. And God will bless that. I am not to try and rival you. We're on the same team. We compliment each other. The body, an eye is supposed to be an eye to see. It's not. You can't expect an ear to see. There's certain things within the body that operate how it's supposed to be. Similar to marriage, I am the wife. I am in charge of certain things, guardian of the home, helping with the children. Help that is, so I can make it easy for my husband to do what he needs to do. There's a balance there, it's not. And then you get into the people who are saying, well, my husband's abusive. That's not what we're talking about. We're talking about the beautiful, beautiful, sacred marriage of when you are at the altar, you become one with your spouse. And the problem is is that I feel as if some women, after they had children, they lose that fire that they got at the altar, that fiery spirit of this is the man I've been praying for, and they they get burned out because of the kids or because of circumstances, and then it's like submitting to my husband that sounds exhausting. It's supposed to be liberating. It's supposed to be freeing. You are in charge of what you're in charge of, your husband's in charge of what he's in charge of. And it's supposed to be a beautiful marriage of a teamwork and symbolic within biblical marriage and symbolic within how how God and Jesus and everything just your whole faith is supposed to operate. 00:09:36 Speaker 3: So submissions a beautiful submits, as Christ submitted that submit to your husband's as to look with the. 00:09:45 Speaker 2: Exact verse, well, husband's. 00:09:49 Speaker 1: Yeah, husband submit to Ephesians. Yeah. I mean, I've never found obviously any problem with it. But do you think that most that most women struggle with it? Here it is submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. This submits that both husband and wives are called the serve and prioritize each other's needs. Do you think that most women struggle with it because of a kind of feminist mentality that has seeped in? 00:10:18 Speaker 2: Yeah? Because I feel as if Christianity in itself has become semi feminized from the standpoint of I know we've talked about this before, you know, the pinterest Christianity with the little flowers all over, the beautiful scripted font and like making the Bible feminine, And it's not. It's a beautiful, beautiful not even a story. I mean, it is a story, but it's a beautiful book on how to live your life. And it has nothing to do with being feminine or being masculine. It's all about Jesus, It's all about God. It always leads you back to God and always leads you back to how you're supposed to live your life biblically. But yeah, women I think are offended by by that because they feel as if it makes them lesser than they are, which it makes them feel like they don't have the choice or the voice that they need to have in order to be quote unquote liberated. But that's the exact opposite. When you're in a biblical marriage, you are supported and you're loved, and your viewpoint is just as important, but you have to let your husband lead. 00:11:35 Speaker 4: How much are life liberty in the pursuit of happiness worth to you? This is the question America's founders had to answer. You see, for more than one hundred and fifty years, America's thirteen colonies govern themselves until Britain declared they had no right to self rule. So ordinary people had to make extraordinary choices and risk their lives, their fortunes, and their sacred honor to fight for independence. 00:11:59 Speaker 5: And against all. 00:12:00 Speaker 4: They won, and in victory they built one of the most stable and lasting republics in human history. Now experience the American solution like never before thanks to our friends at Hillsdale College. 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You do not want to miss this opportunity to see this on the big screen. Hillsdale dot edu slash Revolution. To locate a theater near you and buy tickets for Revolutionary American one more time. 00:13:14 Speaker 5: That's Hillsdale dot edu slash Revolution. 00:13:20 Speaker 1: Do you hear a lot of struggle with that topic of submission from women you talk. 00:13:25 Speaker 2: To, yes and no, Yes from the women who are not strong Christians, who are just more of in the world trying to figure out and navigate their marriage based on that standpoint. But I think it goes back to what you were saying. The men need to be prepared to take on that role. That's not a light role to carry, being the leader of the homes. So I think what happens is men who aren't prepared for that season of life, they leave the metaphorical pants on the ground, and so the women come in and put those pants on because they feel like I have to be this role, I have to play this role, and I need to be the provider or I need to. And also too, I think mom guilt falls into it too, of like I'm not providing for my family if they worked in the workforce prior and now they're a stay at home mom, which is a huge blessing to have that opportunity to raise your babies. Like that, I think that they feel as if they're comparing their season to other peoples. And so that's where I think, you know, you get the moms and wives that are not wanting to submit. But I think the husband needs to always be in a position of understanding his biblical role as well for that to all, you know, mesh together. And even even if even if the husband understands it and reminds his wife or the wife reminds a husband like, let's pray together, let's recenter our relationship and marriage to make it healthy in Christ centered, it's important you pick one. Okay. 00:15:01 Speaker 1: I could also talk about more of what women should be looking for and or men should be looking for in women, but mm hmm, okay, we kind of talked about that though. 00:15:09 Speaker 2: Yeah, I know what. Yeah, what trades to conservative? 00:15:14 Speaker 1: This is one from that. Someone just emailed us in Freedom at Charliekirk dot com. Oh really, Erica, do you ever get hate from Charlie's work? How do you handle it? Charlie? Do you ever feel guilt or do you ever deal with guilt when Erica gets hate? No? I don't. 00:15:32 Speaker 2: I honestly, this is so I got I This is how I know God made us for each other, because anytime I do get quote unquote hate, it's the same stuff you get like that. I don't even want to say. It's not even worth saying it or repeating the things that were called or the names that were called. But yes I do. I've lost family members, I've lost friends. But I actually am kind of grateful that that's happened because God has pruned my life in a way where I am surrounded in a circle now by people who love us, support us, pray with us, encourage us. 00:16:05 Speaker 1: Small mighty circle. 00:16:06 Speaker 2: And that's what I would much rather have, a small, mighty circle than a massive one. It's the people that you know that you can trust and pourtant too. And yes, do I get hate, Bring it on. I'll have a I'll have a a velvet steel spine by the end of end of my life, so bring it on. I have nothing to fear. 00:16:27 Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, look, we get a lot of hate, we get a lot of death threats, but just part of life. It makes you stronger. And honestly, if you are out there and you aren't getting a lot of hate, then what are you doing? What? Yes, Satan's not you're not doing anything. Then now there's exactly just being boring. You're probably honestly doing the bidding. 00:16:42 Speaker 2: Of the enemy, right, No, it's true. 00:16:46 Speaker 1: Okay, let's see emails freedom at Charliekirk dot com. Lots of questions coming in from you guys. You want to do the dating app thing? 00:16:54 Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm mean I kind of touched on it. Yes, and no. I used to have stronger ones, but I don't think as many people are on them. 00:16:59 Speaker 1: Any than like dating apps and like dating services? Are those two different? 00:17:03 Speaker 2: I hear dating services are awful. I hear that the ones that is. 00:17:08 Speaker 1: Very pro like dating apps and services. He always was. I mean his thought is more options the better. 00:17:14 Speaker 2: Yeah, but how lazy does that make the man to be able to be? They're presented a binder of women and they're. 00:17:20 Speaker 1: Like, like, am mit, Romney, do you. 00:17:23 Speaker 2: Want a brunette? Okay, let's go down this Manila fold. 00:17:27 Speaker 1: Where women are becoming notoriously pickier than men. Though right it's a big problem. 00:17:32 Speaker 2: They have a CBS receipt length the checklist of what they want. 00:17:37 Speaker 1: There is a growing theme that women, if women are actually grading, they say they're unhappier with the dating pool right now than men. I could see that, they say. And part of it, by the way, is incredibly superficial. 00:17:50 Speaker 2: But are men unhappy with the dating pool? 00:17:52 Speaker 1: Women not as unhappy as women. 00:17:55 Speaker 2: I think women. 00:17:56 Speaker 1: You know, it's interesting superficially I say that men aren't attractive. 00:18:00 Speaker 2: I know, but I'm thinking about all of the way how we grew up, of how romanticized they made finding your your future spouse, Like you're going to be so in love, you're going to be swept up, and these flowers are going to be flying around you, and you're going to be so like butterflies in your stomach. And so I feel as if when people don't feel that immediately, they're like, oh, this person's not the right one, or they're just I don't know. I think they're caught up in what they're supposed to. 00:18:30 Speaker 1: That just I mean they're like a Christian Tinder. Does that exist? 00:18:34 Speaker 2: I don't know. You have an ad for it. 00:18:36 Speaker 1: It's like a matchmaking service, I think. 00:18:39 Speaker 2: I don't know if there's a Christian Tinder. But match match making services I heard are not the no good. 00:18:45 Speaker 3: Yeah. 00:18:46 Speaker 1: Oh, it's called Christian Mingle. I don't think they're a sponsor of our thing, right, No, they're like Farmers Connect too for farmers. Yeah. No, I think there's like a farm there's like Mormon mingled too. 00:18:56 Speaker 2: There's Mormon Mingle, Yeah, I know there's definitely. 00:19:00 Speaker 1: Dallan probably knows all about it. Not anymore taken Taryll in the gang probably know all about it. I think there's Mormon Mingle. Yeah. There's also yes, farmers only dot com. That's the thing. 00:19:16 Speaker 2: So you how do they check to make sure? I guess you have to submit that you have a farm. 00:19:20 Speaker 1: You have to show a video of yourself throwing hay around. 00:19:24 Speaker 2: Are you serious? 00:19:25 Speaker 1: It says single in the country, question mark. There's no way this is ever abused. 00:19:30 Speaker 2: I wonder if if like a woman is like, you know what, I want that farm life, and so she gets some chickens in the backyard and then shows herself cultivating her her many. 00:19:44 Speaker 1: No, I think there definitely is Mormon mingle. There's something of that. 00:19:50 Speaker 2: Variety, okay, but ass for a seating service. I just you know what ask your local pastor. 00:20:00 Speaker 1: What you prioritize is what you get, right. 00:20:02 Speaker 2: I am looking for my futures. 00:20:04 Speaker 1: If you prioritize trying to find a spouse, your much higher likelihood to find one. 00:20:08 Speaker 2: But as women, you need to take care of yourself in order to You can't be looking like Adam Sandler and expect that you're going. 00:20:15 Speaker 1: To and men just figure out ways to make more money. I don't want to say it's not that hard, but if you work hard and apply yourself and obsess, you can make more money and you will be. 00:20:24 Speaker 2: More like you say, stop spending money on alcohol, stop playing. 00:20:28 Speaker 1: Video games, invest in yourself, learn more, you know, be scrappier for a I don't want to say it's easy, because it's not necessarily easy, right, but it's easy to not be poor if you are a man. That's you have to make a decision, a conscious choice to not have a poverty. Mind. 00:20:50 Speaker 3: So what about school, Dad, they should have gone to college because college is a scam. 00:20:57 Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, look, I just men, we'll find a greater pool of women if they increase their income. 00:21:04 Speaker 2: Right. What's your favorite memory pre kids post kids? 00:21:09 Speaker 1: Going to Israel? Definitely that was amazing. 00:21:12 Speaker 2: I loved that being able to walk a Yeah, because you know when before I met you, when I last was when I went previously was with my mom on a pilgrimage, and the whole time I was there, I was praying for my future husband. Didn't know it was you, and we were both in Israel at the same time. But anytime I could find a place to put a little piece of paper of a prayer in a hole in a wall, that was me, and that was that was me praying for you, and that and then I got to go back with you was surreal. 00:21:43 Speaker 1: How about post kids, I'd say Maine was pretty great. Jackson Hole was great. 00:21:48 Speaker 2: That one's tough post kids, because every milestone with the kids is so special. Birthdays, seeing Gigi at dance class, little things like that she did the Trump dance. By the way, I don't even know if I told you that I shall and dance class. Yes, your day. 00:22:10 Speaker 6: Hey, everyone, we're excited to tell you about Charlie's favorite supplement. If you experience brain fog, low energy, frequent illnesses, or if you just wake up stiff and achey every day, you've got to try strong cell. Charlie took it every single day, He frequently talked about it on the show, and he even traveled around the country bringing it with him. For Charlie, strong cell helped keep his mind sharp and focused for all the debates he was engaged in. Strong cell gives clean, natural energy without jitters, weird spikes, or afternoon crashes. It makes you feel like a younger version of yourself. 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Okay, First and foremost, always remember to put your spouse first, get premarital counseling. Premarital counseling, Put your spouse first, save save money, save money. Oh, instead of investing in a bunch of clothes that they'll grow out of really quickly, they should have a you know how people do honeymoon funds. 00:25:19 Speaker 1: These are young married couples, got it, not single ones. 00:25:21 Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, no, that's good. 00:25:25 Speaker 1: Yeah. 00:25:25 Speaker 2: So instead of doing you know how they do the honeymoon fund, they should do a fund where it's overnight help if they don't have a family member to help that. 00:25:33 Speaker 1: I totally agree. I think that wedding directories there's so much money wasted, like oh, I want a blender, I want a knife, right, and my experience, most people don't even use all that stuff. Now, it should just be give us money. Just give give us money and it will be honeymoon fund or save money fund. We did a honeymoon fund and it was great. 00:25:55 Speaker 2: Yeah, and it was special. 00:25:57 Speaker 1: It was totally special. 00:25:58 Speaker 2: Because those memories are way more import And then, so how. 00:26:01 Speaker 1: Would you tell your couples who are going to start having families to prepare ready their marriage for the changes that come with it. Yeah, look, the man has to I mean, I'll be very honest. The man has to start earning enough money where the wife or the mom does not have to work. And if the man is incapable of doing that, we'll then figure it out. Become a man right. 00:26:24 Speaker 2: More tangible side for a female perspective, make sure that you don't get so hyper fixated on the birth process once you're about to have a child, like, don't be so fixated and obsessed with I am going to have a child on my couch in my living room, free birth, no drugs, and then leave no room for God's will if that totally does not happen, because I know we had a birth plan and the only thing that went to plan on that birth plan was that we had a child. 00:26:57 Speaker 1: That's right. Everything else we had agree, but we had a great obe. May he rest in peace. Terrible story, it's so sad. So what young married couples look keep your keep your faith obviously first, and try to identify any fleshly problems that you might be having it having. So if the wife might have a gossip problem or a spending money problem, or the husband might have an alcohol problem or a pornography problem or a drug problem. Don't welcome kids into the world. I should say, you'l always welcomings in the world, but try to get those things settled before you enter kids any world. 00:27:37 Speaker 2: I think before we go to that next question, I think it's because you mentioned gossip. I think it's really important that women do not do not gossip to their friends about their husband mm hm, because first of all, friends can be very unforgiving when it comes to certain things with a husband. But what you talk about with your spouse behind closed doors needs to stay there, goes through one ear and literally ends at the other ear, and you do not share it, You do not repeat it. You have to continually invest in the confidence in one another that you're on the same team. You support each other, you love each other. You're not going to undercut each other. You are not going to sabotage one another unknowingly because you're trying to impress a friend that you have a husband that does x y Z. And wives do not compare your husband to other women's husbands like Hank does x y Z so well with a hammer, Well, my husband doesn't do that. Like do what your husband's good at, someone else's husband might not be good at. So just like love your husband, love love him so much that and understand and hold in your heart that God has put you guys together for a reason to have a beautiful family and children are a blessing from the Lord. And don't forget your husband in the process, and don't forget your husband and the chaos of having kids. Now we can go to the next question. 00:29:15 Speaker 1: No, I totally. What is the next daisy you think sent it? 00:29:18 Speaker 2: What should be the order when it comes to God, kids in marriage and why? 00:29:24 Speaker 1: I just kind of well, it's God first, then marriage, then rights. 00:29:28 Speaker 2: Mm hm it is you get to choose the next one. These are great questions. 00:29:35 Speaker 1: The study shows that married when women with kids are the happiest. Why do you think that is? I mean, it's just nature. I mean just becoming a CEO of a shoe company is not gonna give you happy. 00:29:44 Speaker 2: Women have it so mixed up. You can have you can have a career after children, but if you try to have a career while you have your kids. There is no such thing as balance. That is such a mess. Gigi gets those little monassory toys every month, and there's this one that has the buckets that balance. If I put something in one of those buckets, it's going to drop down, and if I try to balance them, both buckets are fulfilled, which is not realistic. I can't spend half of the day doing one thing. I missed out half of that time with being with the kids. So like you have to choose where your heart has to be fully with the home. You have to make that decision on your own. But you can always after your kids are in school or after they're in high school. You can always go back to work. You can always find a way to get back into the workforce. But if you miss those precious first few years, that is so hard to make up because memories are so much more important than an added paycheck. 00:30:54 Speaker 1: I just I look, it's how God has wired us, and it's our nature, which is to have children, not just have a bigger bank account. Next question, what means the most to Charlie coming home from the battlefield? What means most to Erica when Charlie is at home. I'm not quite sure I understand the question. 00:31:14 Speaker 2: I understand the question. Charlie will text me and say keep things boring. Yes, because for the past several days things were not boring hospital visits. So anyways, yeah, keep things boring so that he can be on the battlefield and not be mortified when he comes home. 00:31:31 Speaker 1: I love coming home, It's the best thing. But I have to go out and fight. 00:31:35 Speaker 2: I know. It's so cute, Gigi loves blueberries, and so every time he leaves, she's so sad, and he's like, honey, baby, I gotta go because I gotta I have to afford your blueberry budget. She gets it, she totally gets it. She understands it. Because then when we're a facetiming daddy, she'll look at daddy and be like, dada working, I'm like he is, and she's like to Ford blue berries. 00:32:01 Speaker 1: Yes, so she's connecting that blueberries just don't come from there, not just from the heavens, manna from heaven. 00:32:08 Speaker 2: They don't fall into the kitchen. 00:32:09 Speaker 1: They don't just come exnihilo. 00:32:11 Speaker 2: No, they sure don't. 00:32:14 Speaker 1: Not at all. This is a good one. How much did you guys discuss religion, finances, politics, how to raise children before getting engaged? If I could just chime in on one of them, men, you should be completely in charge of finances. I totally agree, and your wife should have nothing to do with it. I mean, they can have input, but you should release that burden from your wife and just take care of all the money. 00:32:36 Speaker 2: I have to say, having to provide for my just as myself as a woman, having to provide for yourself, especially because when I was living in New York City. It all fell on me. It's exhausting. I love the fact that I can relinquish that role to my husband because he's so good at it, but relinquish it to him and say, I trust you so much much. I know you're going to help provide for our family. That is one less thing I have to not deal with. I've watched my mom have to deal with that while she had her own business, and she was my mom and dad in one package, because my parents got divorced when I was really young. But to be able to relinquish that to you is so liberating, and I can focus on other things that are way more important because that's your domain and I don't have to worry about it. 00:33:26 Speaker 1: And if you are marrying a man that is not capable of completely and totally handing the finances, that you should not marry that man. It will. Finances will break a marriage quicker than anything else period. 00:33:40 Speaker 4: How much are life liberty in the pursuit of happiness worth to you? This is the question America's founders had to answer. You see, for more than one hundred and fifty years, America's thirteen colonies governed themselves until Britain declared they had no right to self rule. So ordinary people had to make extraordinary choice and risk their lives, their fortunes, and their sacred honor to fight for independence, and against all odds they won, and in victory they built one of the most stable and lasting republics in human history. Now experience the American solution like never before, thanks to our friends at Hillsdale College. Revolutionary America, a new documentary from Hillsdale Studios and narrated by Tom Selleck, brings the founding of our nation to life through the voices of those who lived, alongside insights from leading scholars and commentator. I'm telling you, Hillsdale has outdone themselves with this. 00:34:32 Speaker 5: It's amazing. You've got to check this out. 00:34:36 Speaker 4: You got to. Frankly, you gotta buy tickets to see this film. So please, please, please, It's something you could take the whole family to, you could take your friends, I mean listen. At a time when history is often distorted in schools and classes immedia, this is your chance to see the stories it really happened, and ask yourself, what would you risk for freedom? Face the decisions our founders grappled with in Revolutionary American. 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I'm sure it has. But I see those marriages kreening for divorce quicker than anything else. Here's why we as men are hardwired to produce for the family. We find meaning, we find purpose. Tucker would talk about this all the time. You would like, I have the worst day ever, but I'd know that today I'm paying for tuition, like today my kids tuition are being paid for I can't pay. And for men, we find great purpose in being able to come back home being like we provided for all of this. 00:36:21 Speaker 2: Mm hmm, and like this oneast egg. 00:36:25 Speaker 1: Yeah, and Daisy just said she has a stay at home friend who just went on a date and said, the guy on the first date he wants to be a stay at home dad in the future. Yeah, he's probably gay, Daisy, good grease, she said, I think he might be gay. Yeah, I totally agree, but. 00:36:38 Speaker 2: Just went on a date. Why would the guy say he wants to be a state? I mean, but can I just. 00:36:43 Speaker 1: Say sounds like torture? 00:36:44 Speaker 2: Hold on, I do not want to knock the stay at home dads. I do not. There are some who had to temporary have to switch that role. That happened to my parents a long time ago. Granted again, they got a divorce, so that probably falls into your bucket. 00:37:01 Speaker 1: But I am an anthropologist. 00:37:04 Speaker 2: But my dad was a stay at home dad for a few years, and I got to say it was really sweet and really special. I was four, but that was of course. 00:37:14 Speaker 1: It's not an indictment of the morality. 00:37:16 Speaker 2: No. But if you're saying from the get go, I want to be a stay at home. 00:37:20 Speaker 1: It is a It's an imbalance of nature. And some people are able to balance, are able to juggle imbalances of nature. 00:37:29 Speaker 2: But your husband has to be the one that goes out into the world and builds and battles and comes home. It conquers, comes home and it's like, this is my nest egg, this is what I worked so hard for, And the wife is like, welcome home, babe, whatever you need. 00:37:44 Speaker 1: Financial burdens should not be brought into the concern of the wife. It just I just it should. 00:37:52 Speaker 2: Well, then it bleeds into the kids, and the kids are like, oh, I can't afford to do. 00:37:55 Speaker 1: Why am I being so firm on this, Because I know the number one reason why people cheat on their wives and why divorce happens is financial. It is number one. It is the number one thing collapses and breaks apart marriages more than anything else. And so if you have a husband that leads in it, and it's not that it comes easy to me. But guys don't borrow money. You just start with that principle, you're not going to have any credit card debt. Now you can use credit cards, just pay them off every month, and the only other debt that's acceptable is a mortgage payment. If you just start with that principle, you're gonna be in a much better spot. 00:38:34 Speaker 2: But how what if the guy comes from nothing and doesn't know where to start, then. 00:38:41 Speaker 1: He shouldn't be getting married. Then he's a boy. Boys should not get married. I love you, I love you too, but it's true. I mean, if you are not capable of providing for a wife or a family, then you should take some time before you get married. You've got to figure yourself out. You got to get a skill, you got to get disciplined. 00:39:00 Speaker 2: To get there's a season for everything. Yeah, and I know that for some young girls out there, or even older women who are still looking for their human a season of waiting is to encourage you to just continue to trust God's timing. And if you're in a season of pruning, that's probably because God's trying to refine you. And if you're in a season of fruitfulness, then enjoy that and embrace that. 00:39:28 Speaker 1: I will add to that that men have a much longer horizon of waiting than women, and what men need to get equipped for actually might not be as natural. Women can make very good mothers with almost no like training. It's just that twenty three twenty four women can make good mothers. 00:39:46 Speaker 2: I don't know about that. That's hit or mess because some women will. They have to be equipped for it too, and their hearts prepared for it, or else they're going to stick their kid in front of cocoa melon, cuckoo melon, what is it? Cocomelon? 00:39:59 Speaker 5: What is it? 00:39:59 Speaker 2: Miss Rachel? Oh, her voice kills me those shows for hours. But they have to be prepared for it too. You have to again, equally yoked, right, equally yoked. 00:40:13 Speaker 1: Next question, how how would you wait well for a spouse? 00:40:18 Speaker 2: First of all, this is more of like a health standpoint. Get your blood work done every six months. 00:40:24 Speaker 1: Don't have sex before you get married. 00:40:25 Speaker 2: Don't have sex before you get married. Really be intentional about growing down before you grow up and out, meaning make sure that your heart is so rooted in Christ. Make sure that you're reading the Bible every single day, make sure that you're in a position where you're living your life that he has to seek God in order to even be able to touch the slightest bit of your heart, and make sure that you are taking good care of yourself. Again, don't dress well, don't try. You're not gonna attract someone if you're not looking your best. Not saying you have to look like you're on a red carpet every single day, but take care of yourself. If you can't afford to get your nails and hair done, that's fine. There's still ways to make yourself look like you care about. I'm not saying from a prideful standpoint, but take be it grateful that God gave you the body he gave you. Be grateful that you're healthy. If you're not healthy, that you have doctors in your life to help get you there. Just constantly be grateful. There's always something to be grateful for, and just find a way to be able to get yourself in the proper mindset and headspace of knowing that you are so intentional about this time, and you're in a stream of significance rather than focusing on what everyone else has, and you are in a position where when and if the man has sought you out and he will tell you I am intentional about this I'm not trying to beat around the bush. I want to date you and I want to marry you. When it's that type of guy, you will know and you'll be ready. You won't say, oh, I don't know about this, like you will be prepared. Just take care of yourself. Take care of yourself. 00:42:17 Speaker 1: I agree. I think we have one more. Do you want to pick a last one? 00:42:21 Speaker 2: No, I want you to. 00:42:25 Speaker 1: Oh what do you think about schooling for kids? What are you planning on doing. 00:42:29 Speaker 2: We will be homeschooling, especially in the beginning at first. I will be honest. At first, I was horrified, thinking I am horrible at math and geometry. But I'm excited to some extent. I'm excited. And this is why I think that women lose a portion of their brain capacity after every single kid. It's because then you get excited to homeschool your kids and you get to relearn everything all over again, and you're excited about learning about triangles and octagons and proper grammar all over again because you have that brain space to do it and you're excited. So we will be homeschooling. Plus we want to travel with the kids, and Plus to be honest with you, I do not want to deal with kids going up to either of our children and being like, I hate you because of. 00:43:18 Speaker 1: Your Eventually, once they get old enough, they'll they'll get into school right exactly six of an eighth grade maybe, but. 00:43:24 Speaker 2: Right, especially for sports. 00:43:26 Speaker 1: We also travel a lot, but I encourage everyone if you if you can homeschool, and if you can't homeschool, I want I would love to know the reason why. 00:43:34 Speaker 2: Or you can do pods schooling where you have a teacher come to your friend's house and you all kind of that's right, share share a teacher. 00:43:42 Speaker 1: I love you, I. 00:43:43 Speaker 2: Love you to you. That was really short and quick, but we have more questions. 00:43:46 Speaker 1: It was a full episode. 00:43:48 Speaker 2: Wow time with you flies. 00:43:51 Speaker 1: Email us Freedom at Charliekirk dot com, check out Bible and three six five dot com. 00:43:56 Speaker 2: Yeah, read the Bible with us in a year. We this is our ninth year, I think, and so we read the Bible cover to cover. We do not miss a day. And it's a very special, unique community where you can get your Bible readings, text it to you, email to you, or through the app. And we would love to be on that journey with you to read the entire Bible with you three hundred and sixty five days, words of encouragement, whatever you need, We're there. We're real humans, not thoughts. So yeah, Bible through sixty five dot com. 00:44:26 Speaker 1: I love you, I love you, baby, God bless you guys. 00:44:32 Speaker 2: For more on many of these stories and news you can trust, go to Charliekirk dot com