The Unmarried & Marriage
Series: A Profound Mystery
Date: 5th July 2026
Passage: 1 Corinthians 7:17-40
00:00:00 --> 00:00:11 Friends, I just want us to go back to COVID-19 era, sorry, and think about what was it that you were watching on Netflix, on Stan or whatever it is.
00:00:11 --> 00:00:18 One of the shows that I kept watching that kept popping up in 2020 were many home and renovation shows.
00:00:18 --> 00:00:23 One of my favourites was Tidying Up with Marie Kondo.
00:00:23 --> 00:00:25 What a joy.
00:00:25 --> 00:00:41 All the shows like that that I was watching were similar in that singles families were looking at making their home more usable, maybe more aesthetic, more homey, a space for their future grandkids, maybe a guest room.
00:00:41 --> 00:00:45 And Marie Kondo's show was all about tidying and decluttering your place.
00:00:46 --> 00:00:51 And one of the episodes was a story of a recent widow who said this.
00:00:51 --> 00:00:58 The kids have moved out, I've lost my husband, and I'm alone now.
00:00:59 --> 00:01:08 And so she gets Marie to help her through the grief and the loss of her husband as she navigates making a home for herself,
00:01:08 --> 00:01:14 dealing with the belongings of her recently beloved past husband.
00:01:14 --> 00:01:23 But is that not the experience that we are all as individuals, as families trying to do?
00:01:23 --> 00:01:30 That in different seasons of our life, we have all sensed this need to change and transform our homes,
00:01:31 --> 00:01:35 the amount of bedrooms that we need, our plans for the spare bedroom changes,
00:01:35 --> 00:01:42 and our homes have this ability to dictate our reality.
00:01:42 --> 00:01:47 Like the newlywed couple that's moved to a three-bed hour to expand their family in the future.
00:01:48 --> 00:01:50 It's the empty nesters who've downsized their living.
00:01:50 --> 00:02:01 For many people, the deepest longing that we have is to make home, to make family.
00:02:02 --> 00:02:07 And for the newly single widow, she was trying to recalibrate who she was
00:02:07 --> 00:02:13 and what does that look like to make home for herself now that she was recently widowed.
00:02:14 --> 00:02:17 She's found herself sick again, herself single again.
00:02:18 --> 00:02:19 Her husband got sick.
00:02:19 --> 00:02:24 She did not expect to be single as a mother or as a grandmother.
00:02:25 --> 00:02:27 And so what did that mean day by day?
00:02:27 --> 00:02:29 And what was her home like now?
00:02:30 --> 00:02:34 And as we've been speaking about marriage the last few months,
00:02:34 --> 00:02:38 we know it would be remiss of us not to talk about singleness.
00:02:39 --> 00:02:44 Because did you know roughly 40% of St. Paul's are actually not married?
00:02:44 --> 00:02:51 In and beyond the church, there are some singles who are single at a choice.
00:02:52 --> 00:02:55 There are some who are longing to be in a relationship but are not.
00:02:55 --> 00:02:58 They've longed and are longing to have children.
00:03:00 --> 00:03:03 There are those who've been widowed and those who've had past marriages.
00:03:03 --> 00:03:10 And see, the goal for us in all the seasons of our life here is that wherever you are on that journey,
00:03:10 --> 00:03:14 I believe that this passage will help you find home.
00:03:14 --> 00:03:20 Maybe not to literally clear out your home and make room for a new person in your home,
00:03:20 --> 00:03:29 but that God actually has a greater and beautiful vision of home than what you imagine your home and your family to be.
00:03:29 --> 00:03:37 And I want us to feel the sense of home in our inner being, regardless if you are single or married.
00:03:38 --> 00:03:44 In the past, single people have often been posed as people that must have been something wrong with them.
00:03:45 --> 00:03:49 We see it in that terms of spinster or the Simpsons crazy cat lady.
00:03:49 --> 00:03:53 There must be something about them which is the reason why they are still single.
00:03:53 --> 00:03:59 Yet in today's culture, we're starting to see this resurgence of singleness.
00:04:00 --> 00:04:03 We see the current headlines, singleness has peaked.
00:04:04 --> 00:04:06 Single women are thriving in 2025.
00:04:07 --> 00:04:11 And this headline that made me chuckle is having a boyfriend embarrassing now.
00:04:13 --> 00:04:20 You know, singleness has almost given this new marketing spiel that to be single is to be free and not held down.
00:04:20 --> 00:04:27 And I was talking with another friend of mine who said that they wanted to be single instead of in a relationship
00:04:27 --> 00:04:30 so that they didn't need to be involved in all the drama.
00:04:31 --> 00:04:34 But how is singleness viewed in the church?
00:04:35 --> 00:04:40 Danny Trawick, author of Single Ever After, said of singleness in the modern day church.
00:04:41 --> 00:04:46 In today's evangelical church, marriage and parenthood sits on a pedestal.
00:04:46 --> 00:04:52 They are typically held out as the highest good and goal of the Christian life.
00:04:52 --> 00:05:01 And this leaves us thinking of singleness as either a season of preparation before real life begins,
00:05:02 --> 00:05:07 a very rare exception for some specially empowered few, or just a tragic reality.
00:05:07 --> 00:05:15 I remember at a youth group hangout at my old church, all the guys were talking about looking for a partner,
00:05:15 --> 00:05:19 wanting to be married one day, and almost all of them, including the male leaders,
00:05:19 --> 00:05:23 said that humans were made not to be single.
00:05:24 --> 00:05:29 They never said it word for word, but there was this implied idea that if a Christian was single,
00:05:29 --> 00:05:33 they would be unformed, immature in their faithful life.
00:05:33 --> 00:05:35 And I said, how about Jesus?
00:05:36 --> 00:05:38 Wasn't Jesus single?
00:05:38 --> 00:05:45 And the reason why I'm so glad to unpack this passage is because I remember sharing that very night
00:05:45 --> 00:05:50 that this passage shows God's beautiful picture of singleness.
00:05:50 --> 00:05:51 So let's pray.
00:05:53 --> 00:05:58 Lord Jesus, we thank you that you yourself are an example of a man who was single,
00:05:58 --> 00:06:00 who lived a pure and perfect life.
00:06:00 --> 00:06:04 We thank you that you've given us this wonderful passage.
00:06:05 --> 00:06:11 And we ask that we might receive peace, joy, clarity, and understanding as we read this passage.
00:06:12 --> 00:06:17 Make it transform us to be more alive and live more truer to how you made us to live
00:06:17 --> 00:06:19 than we have ever been before.
00:06:20 --> 00:06:21 Amen.
00:06:22 --> 00:06:26 The first point I want to talk about is that the idea of this gift of singleness.
00:06:26 --> 00:06:33 I've often heard this statement being said in the church, quoting this passage,
00:06:33 --> 00:06:38 sounding something like, some have the gift of singleness and some don't.
00:06:39 --> 00:06:42 And they get it from earlier verses that I didn't get John to read.
00:06:42 --> 00:06:48 But if you just look at that 10 verses before, in verse 7 to 8, Paul says on the screen as well,
00:06:48 --> 00:06:51 I wish that all of you were as I am.
00:06:51 --> 00:06:52 Paul is single.
00:06:52 --> 00:07:11 And I agree with the statement that some have the gift of singleness.
00:07:11 --> 00:07:18 I agree to the extent that you who are married in this room do not have the gift of singleness.
00:07:19 --> 00:07:24 And all you who are single do have the gift of singleness.
00:07:24 --> 00:07:30 Because the gift of singleness is a gift of the season of singleness,
00:07:31 --> 00:07:36 as the gift of marriage is the gift of the season of marriage.
00:07:36 --> 00:07:43 The gift that Paul talks about is not a special spiritual gift that the Lord gives to some believers and not others.
00:07:43 --> 00:07:47 It's not like he's given some people the ability to sing and others not.
00:07:48 --> 00:07:54 We suddenly make out that the gift of singleness is for those who have this extraordinary power
00:07:54 --> 00:08:00 to remain single and celibate, almost like you need some kind of booster shot injection.
00:08:00 --> 00:08:05 And if you don't have that, then the rest of us who don't have it just have to wrestle through it.
00:08:05 --> 00:08:16 But you see, the call that Paul makes here is that both married and unmarried, prior to this, is to be self-controlled.
00:08:17 --> 00:08:21 And that doesn't change whether you are single or whether you are married.
00:08:22 --> 00:08:29 You see, the season of singleness that you might find yourself in is a gift.
00:08:29 --> 00:08:33 It's not just a training course for the real deal.
00:08:34 --> 00:08:44 Singleness in itself, struggling or joyful, is a legitimate, beautiful gift from God.
00:08:44 --> 00:08:56 And you might ask, how can singleness be a gift if it draws such deep pain and loneliness?
00:08:57 --> 00:09:03 Because there are dear friends of mine who I know have long to be married and haven't found that day.
00:09:03 --> 00:09:05 How is it a gift?
00:09:05 --> 00:09:12 I want to share from Elizabeth Elliot, a missionary who was widowed three times,
00:09:13 --> 00:09:22 one of whom, her first husband, was a missionary who went to a country and that country killed him.
00:09:22 --> 00:09:25 And she still decided to be a missionary to that country.
00:09:26 --> 00:09:30 She talks about this in Let Me Be a Woman.
00:09:30 --> 00:09:33 After being widowed three times, she says,
00:09:33 --> 00:09:38 Having now spent more than 41 years single, I have learnt that it is indeed a gift.
00:09:39 --> 00:09:41 Not one I would choose.
00:09:42 --> 00:09:44 Not one many women would choose.
00:09:44 --> 00:09:47 But we do not choose our gifts, remember?
00:09:48 --> 00:09:53 We are given them by a divine giver who knows the end from the beginning
00:09:53 --> 00:10:00 and wants above all else to give us the gift of himself.
00:10:04 --> 00:10:07 In 1 Corinthians 7 verse 17, it says,
00:10:07 --> 00:10:13 Nevertheless, each person should live as a believer in whatever situation the Lord has assigned to them,
00:10:14 --> 00:10:16 just as God has called them.
00:10:16 --> 00:10:23 You see, the verb should live here is best translated as retaining or grasping hold of,
00:10:24 --> 00:10:29 in other words, embracing the season of life that the Lord has assigned.
00:10:30 --> 00:10:34 And if you were to play reverse on this verse, you might actually say,
00:10:35 --> 00:10:40 Don't hurry leaving the situation that the Lord has placed you in.
00:10:40 --> 00:10:42 And when you hear that, you go,
00:10:42 --> 00:10:48 Well, it sounds well and good until you reach that rut in your current stage of life.
00:10:48 --> 00:10:51 And you start to think that the grass is greener elsewhere,
00:10:51 --> 00:10:53 or the past was rosier than today.
00:10:54 --> 00:10:57 You know, some parents will remember how good the baby days were
00:10:57 --> 00:11:00 before their kids could speak and talk back.
00:11:01 --> 00:11:04 Or some wish their children who have moved out
00:11:04 --> 00:11:09 until they realise how they don't like the quiet home anymore.
00:11:10 --> 00:11:17 And it's often in retrospect that we understand what God is and was doing in any season.
00:11:17 --> 00:11:22 That God has been doing it for your good and his glory.
00:11:24 --> 00:11:27 And so we should always be asking in every season,
00:11:27 --> 00:11:29 What is the Lord teaching thee?
00:11:29 --> 00:11:31 What is he teaching me through this?
00:11:31 --> 00:11:36 How is Jesus showing up to thee in this present crisis?
00:11:36 --> 00:11:43 Because we're called to remember that the Lord has assigned your season of life that you are in.
00:11:44 --> 00:11:48 Don't miss out on what God is doing in this season.
00:11:48 --> 00:11:50 Because he is indeed doing something.
00:11:51 --> 00:11:52 He is changing you.
00:11:52 --> 00:11:54 He is working for your good and his glory.
00:11:55 --> 00:11:57 And that's not to say what Paul is saying.
00:11:57 --> 00:11:58 He's not saying,
00:11:59 --> 00:12:00 If you wish to pursue marriage,
00:12:00 --> 00:12:01 if you want to change jobs,
00:12:01 --> 00:12:02 if you want to move country,
00:12:02 --> 00:12:03 it's the wrong decision.
00:12:03 --> 00:12:09 Paul himself recognises that while he might embrace singleness and what it affords,
00:12:10 --> 00:12:15 he does not by any means illegitimise marriage as a God-honouring decision.
00:12:15 --> 00:12:16 Verse 28.
00:12:16 --> 00:12:18 But if you do not marry,
00:12:18 --> 00:12:21 you have not sinned.
00:12:22 --> 00:12:23 But you see,
00:12:23 --> 00:12:23 for Paul,
00:12:24 --> 00:12:26 there is something that matters
00:12:26 --> 00:12:29 much more than your marital,
00:12:29 --> 00:12:30 your work,
00:12:30 --> 00:12:31 your geographic status,
00:12:31 --> 00:12:32 where you live.
00:12:32 --> 00:12:34 There is something that is primary
00:12:34 --> 00:12:36 beyond your season of life.
00:12:36 --> 00:12:38 He's saying to the year 12 student,
00:12:38 --> 00:12:39 You are more than just a number.
00:12:39 --> 00:12:41 He's saying to the office worker,
00:12:41 --> 00:12:43 You are more than a set of KPIs.
00:12:43 --> 00:12:46 There is something that has happened for the Christian
00:12:46 --> 00:12:48 in their circumstances
00:12:48 --> 00:12:50 that is greater than whether you got married or whether you're not.
00:12:52 --> 00:12:55 The gospel is better news for the Christian
00:12:55 --> 00:12:57 than what the world has to offer.
00:12:57 --> 00:12:58 In verse 22,
00:12:58 --> 00:12:59 do you notice,
00:12:59 --> 00:13:02 a Christian is the Lord's freed person.
00:13:02 --> 00:13:03 They belong to Christ.
00:13:04 --> 00:13:06 That you were bought at a price.
00:13:08 --> 00:13:08 You see,
00:13:09 --> 00:13:12 for the struggling single person
00:13:12 --> 00:13:15 who has had failed date after failed date
00:13:15 --> 00:13:16 and rejection after rejection,
00:13:16 --> 00:13:19 Do you know there's a God who sees you?
00:13:20 --> 00:13:24 Do you know that Jesus has bought you
00:13:24 --> 00:13:25 at the price of his blood?
00:13:26 --> 00:13:29 Was he himself that was rejected by you and me
00:13:29 --> 00:13:31 and then by his own father
00:13:31 --> 00:13:34 as he took on the sin and scorn and shame on the cross
00:13:34 --> 00:13:34 and said,
00:13:34 --> 00:13:35 Elo, Elo,
00:13:35 --> 00:13:37 lama sabachthani,
00:13:37 --> 00:13:37 my God,
00:13:37 --> 00:13:38 my God,
00:13:38 --> 00:13:39 why have you forsaken me?
00:13:39 --> 00:13:42 And he doesn't see you as broken.
00:13:43 --> 00:13:45 He holds you with worth and dignity
00:13:45 --> 00:13:47 because your primary status
00:13:47 --> 00:13:49 is not your marital status,
00:13:50 --> 00:13:53 but that you belong to the Lord.
00:13:54 --> 00:13:55 Friends,
00:13:55 --> 00:13:57 there is this wonderful confession of faith
00:13:57 --> 00:13:59 called the Heidelberg Catechism,
00:14:00 --> 00:14:01 like our creeds that we say,
00:14:02 --> 00:14:03 that begins with the question,
00:14:04 --> 00:14:07 what is the only comfort in life and death?
00:14:07 --> 00:14:09 And what's the answer?
00:14:09 --> 00:14:12 The answer is that I am not my own,
00:14:14 --> 00:14:16 but belong body and soul in life and in death
00:14:16 --> 00:14:19 to my faithful Savior, Jesus Christ.
00:14:19 --> 00:14:22 Because I belong to him,
00:14:23 --> 00:14:24 Christ by his Holy Spirit
00:14:24 --> 00:14:27 assures me of eternal life.
00:14:27 --> 00:14:29 Because belonging to Christ,
00:14:29 --> 00:14:30 your status in Jesus,
00:14:30 --> 00:14:33 secures a future status.
00:14:33 --> 00:14:37 And this is what Paul reiterates himself in verse 29.
00:14:37 --> 00:14:39 What I mean,
00:14:39 --> 00:14:40 what he really means
00:14:40 --> 00:14:44 about his desire for married and unmarried
00:14:44 --> 00:14:46 is to remember,
00:14:46 --> 00:14:47 brothers and sisters,
00:14:47 --> 00:14:49 that the time is short.
00:14:49 --> 00:14:50 The time is short.
00:14:50 --> 00:14:52 That life on this earth
00:14:52 --> 00:14:54 is soon going to end like the sand
00:14:54 --> 00:14:56 reaching the bottom of an hourglass.
00:14:57 --> 00:14:58 It will be finished.
00:14:58 --> 00:15:02 And so Paul suggests this as his reason to be single.
00:15:03 --> 00:15:04 Verse 32,
00:15:04 --> 00:15:07 I would like you to be free from concern.
00:15:08 --> 00:15:11 An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord's affairs,
00:15:12 --> 00:15:13 how he can please the Lord.
00:15:14 --> 00:15:17 But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world,
00:15:17 --> 00:15:18 how he can please his wife,
00:15:18 --> 00:15:20 and his interests are divided.
00:15:21 --> 00:15:24 An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs.
00:15:24 --> 00:15:28 Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit.
00:15:29 --> 00:15:30 And then verse 35,
00:15:30 --> 00:15:33 I am saying this for your own good,
00:15:34 --> 00:15:36 not to restrict you,
00:15:37 --> 00:15:39 but that you may live in a right way
00:15:39 --> 00:15:43 in undivided devotion to the Lord.
00:15:44 --> 00:15:44 See,
00:15:44 --> 00:15:46 Paul is recognizing
00:15:46 --> 00:15:48 an earthly reality
00:15:48 --> 00:15:50 that come with having families,
00:15:51 --> 00:15:52 having dependents,
00:15:52 --> 00:15:53 and that single people
00:15:53 --> 00:15:55 have a unique opportunity
00:15:55 --> 00:15:57 to be freed from that.
00:15:58 --> 00:16:00 And I know many families
00:16:00 --> 00:16:01 and many parents,
00:16:02 --> 00:16:02 those who are married,
00:16:02 --> 00:16:03 those who have children or not,
00:16:04 --> 00:16:05 recognize
00:16:05 --> 00:16:07 that there is
00:16:07 --> 00:16:09 a reality
00:16:09 --> 00:16:12 that there are burdens
00:16:12 --> 00:16:14 that have come
00:16:14 --> 00:16:16 uniquely
00:16:16 --> 00:16:17 because of their
00:16:17 --> 00:16:19 deep love for another,
00:16:19 --> 00:16:20 whether that is
00:16:20 --> 00:16:21 the loss of a spouse,
00:16:22 --> 00:16:22 whether that is
00:16:22 --> 00:16:24 caring for
00:16:24 --> 00:16:25 dependents.
00:16:26 --> 00:16:28 And as much as they love that gift,
00:16:28 --> 00:16:29 it is also hard.
00:16:30 --> 00:16:32 And so Paul is saying
00:16:32 --> 00:16:33 that perhaps
00:16:33 --> 00:16:35 for someone who is single,
00:16:36 --> 00:16:38 that there is something unique
00:16:38 --> 00:16:40 in that gift
00:16:40 --> 00:16:41 for you to embrace.
00:16:42 --> 00:16:44 And one gift
00:16:44 --> 00:16:45 I want you to consider
00:16:45 --> 00:16:47 is single friends.
00:16:47 --> 00:16:48 Have you ever considered
00:16:48 --> 00:16:49 that your very present
00:16:49 --> 00:16:50 season of life
00:16:50 --> 00:16:52 is a glimpse
00:16:52 --> 00:16:52 of eternity
00:16:52 --> 00:16:54 that your married friends
00:16:54 --> 00:16:55 cannot reflect?
00:16:57 --> 00:16:58 In Matthew 22,
00:16:58 --> 00:16:58 verse 30,
00:16:58 --> 00:16:59 Jesus says about
00:16:59 --> 00:17:00 marriage in heaven,
00:17:01 --> 00:17:02 at the resurrection,
00:17:03 --> 00:17:04 people will neither marry
00:17:04 --> 00:17:05 nor be given in marriage.
00:17:05 --> 00:17:06 They will be
00:17:06 --> 00:17:07 like angels
00:17:07 --> 00:17:08 in heaven.
00:17:09 --> 00:17:10 You see,
00:17:10 --> 00:17:11 what we've been
00:17:11 --> 00:17:12 pushed by Steve
00:17:12 --> 00:17:14 and Nick,
00:17:15 --> 00:17:16 is married people
00:17:16 --> 00:17:16 can reflect
00:17:16 --> 00:17:17 the marriage
00:17:17 --> 00:17:18 of the Lord
00:17:18 --> 00:17:19 and his church.
00:17:20 --> 00:17:20 But you,
00:17:21 --> 00:17:22 as a single person,
00:17:23 --> 00:17:24 can uniquely show us
00:17:24 --> 00:17:26 what it might look like
00:17:26 --> 00:17:27 to live in the new creation
00:17:27 --> 00:17:29 in a way that married people
00:17:29 --> 00:17:29 cannot
00:17:29 --> 00:17:31 when our hearts
00:17:31 --> 00:17:32 will be fully devoted
00:17:32 --> 00:17:33 to the Lord.
00:17:33 --> 00:17:35 married people.
00:17:35 --> 00:17:36 And so,
00:17:37 --> 00:17:39 you and married people,
00:17:40 --> 00:17:41 you are called
00:17:41 --> 00:17:42 to live as though
00:17:42 --> 00:17:43 you are home
00:17:43 --> 00:17:44 with Jesus.
00:17:45 --> 00:17:47 Do you guys see it?
00:17:47 --> 00:17:48 It's not actually
00:17:48 --> 00:17:49 marital status
00:17:49 --> 00:17:50 that will determine
00:17:50 --> 00:17:51 whether you will be
00:17:51 --> 00:17:52 a blessing to the church
00:17:52 --> 00:17:52 in God's kingdom.
00:17:53 --> 00:17:54 Your devotion to God
00:17:54 --> 00:17:55 depends on where
00:17:55 --> 00:17:56 you set your gaze.
00:17:56 --> 00:17:57 Where is the home
00:17:57 --> 00:17:58 that you are building?
00:17:59 --> 00:18:00 Despite what Paul says
00:18:00 --> 00:18:01 about single people
00:18:01 --> 00:18:02 living for the Lord,
00:18:02 --> 00:18:03 you can be unmarried
00:18:03 --> 00:18:04 and Christian
00:18:04 --> 00:18:05 and live with your
00:18:05 --> 00:18:06 personal dreams
00:18:06 --> 00:18:07 and ambitions
00:18:07 --> 00:18:08 and not have the Lord
00:18:08 --> 00:18:09 shape your interests.
00:18:11 --> 00:18:12 But you could also
00:18:12 --> 00:18:13 be married with kids
00:18:13 --> 00:18:14 and be insular
00:18:14 --> 00:18:15 in your own family.
00:18:16 --> 00:18:17 It's where you choose
00:18:17 --> 00:18:19 to make your own home.
00:18:20 --> 00:18:20 Paul's saying,
00:18:20 --> 00:18:21 you are not bound
00:18:21 --> 00:18:23 by this earth.
00:18:25 --> 00:18:25 Married people.
00:18:26 --> 00:18:27 Paul says in verse 28
00:18:27 --> 00:18:29 that your marital status
00:18:29 --> 00:18:30 should not trump
00:18:30 --> 00:18:31 your future status
00:18:31 --> 00:18:33 because you see,
00:18:33 --> 00:18:34 the good news of Jesus
00:18:34 --> 00:18:36 extends the meaning
00:18:36 --> 00:18:38 of your earthly time.
00:18:40 --> 00:18:42 The good news of Jesus
00:18:42 --> 00:18:45 says that he's redeeming
00:18:45 --> 00:18:48 the parts of your marriage
00:18:48 --> 00:18:50 and pushing you
00:18:50 --> 00:18:51 and sanctifying you
00:18:51 --> 00:18:52 so that on the day
00:18:52 --> 00:18:53 that Jesus returns,
00:18:53 --> 00:18:54 you will be able
00:18:54 --> 00:18:57 to stand at the gaze
00:18:57 --> 00:18:58 of the Lord Jesus
00:18:58 --> 00:18:58 and say,
00:18:59 --> 00:19:00 and hear the words,
00:19:00 --> 00:19:01 well done,
00:19:01 --> 00:19:02 good and faithful servant,
00:19:03 --> 00:19:04 alongside your spouse
00:19:04 --> 00:19:05 who you together
00:19:05 --> 00:19:07 have spurred one another
00:19:07 --> 00:19:08 into living for Jesus.
00:19:09 --> 00:19:11 It's for the single person
00:19:11 --> 00:19:13 to know their investment
00:19:13 --> 00:19:14 in discipling,
00:19:14 --> 00:19:15 their investment
00:19:15 --> 00:19:16 in caring for people
00:19:16 --> 00:19:19 has not gone in vain
00:19:19 --> 00:19:21 because they will see
00:19:21 --> 00:19:21 their crown and joy
00:19:21 --> 00:19:22 in heaven.
00:19:22 --> 00:19:24 Instead,
00:19:25 --> 00:19:25 friends,
00:19:25 --> 00:19:26 you've got a home
00:19:26 --> 00:19:27 with Jesus.
00:19:28 --> 00:19:29 He's preparing
00:19:29 --> 00:19:30 a home for you.
00:19:30 --> 00:19:31 He's making room
00:19:31 --> 00:19:31 for you.
00:19:32 --> 00:19:33 And so married
00:19:33 --> 00:19:33 and unmarried,
00:19:33 --> 00:19:34 live as though
00:19:34 --> 00:19:34 you are home
00:19:34 --> 00:19:35 with Jesus.
00:19:37 --> 00:19:38 But how should we
00:19:38 --> 00:19:39 see marriage?
00:19:40 --> 00:19:40 You see,
00:19:40 --> 00:19:41 Paul does not look down
00:19:41 --> 00:19:42 on one or the other
00:19:42 --> 00:19:44 that we might do
00:19:44 --> 00:19:45 subconsciously.
00:19:45 --> 00:19:45 We might read
00:19:45 --> 00:19:46 this passage
00:19:46 --> 00:19:46 and go,
00:19:46 --> 00:19:46 wow,
00:19:46 --> 00:19:47 Paul's really
00:19:47 --> 00:19:48 amping up singleness.
00:19:49 --> 00:19:49 He must be really
00:19:49 --> 00:19:50 anti-marriage.
00:19:50 --> 00:19:52 Paul being pro-single
00:19:52 --> 00:19:54 does not mean
00:19:54 --> 00:19:56 he is anti-marriage.
00:19:56 --> 00:19:56 We've literally
00:19:56 --> 00:19:57 seen him speak
00:19:57 --> 00:19:58 about for the last
00:19:58 --> 00:19:59 many weeks
00:19:59 --> 00:20:00 in Ephesians 5,
00:20:01 --> 00:20:02 both are good.
00:20:02 --> 00:20:03 He says singleness
00:20:03 --> 00:20:03 is a gift.
00:20:03 --> 00:20:04 He says marriage
00:20:04 --> 00:20:05 is a gift.
00:20:05 --> 00:20:06 And as Danny
00:20:06 --> 00:20:07 has said,
00:20:07 --> 00:20:08 often in the church,
00:20:08 --> 00:20:09 marriage has been
00:20:09 --> 00:20:10 put on this highest
00:20:10 --> 00:20:11 order or goal
00:20:11 --> 00:20:12 for the Christian
00:20:12 --> 00:20:14 that we may subvert
00:20:14 --> 00:20:16 in our heads
00:20:16 --> 00:20:16 and assume that
00:20:16 --> 00:20:18 if one has not
00:20:18 --> 00:20:18 been married,
00:20:18 --> 00:20:20 that they are not
00:20:20 --> 00:20:21 mature as Christians
00:20:21 --> 00:20:22 as others.
00:20:23 --> 00:20:24 And sometimes
00:20:24 --> 00:20:25 it's often because
00:20:25 --> 00:20:27 we hear married people
00:20:27 --> 00:20:28 often share how God
00:20:28 --> 00:20:30 has used marriage
00:20:30 --> 00:20:32 to edify and sanctify
00:20:32 --> 00:20:33 them to grow them
00:20:33 --> 00:20:34 in maturity.
00:20:35 --> 00:20:35 But that doesn't
00:20:35 --> 00:20:36 discount the fact
00:20:36 --> 00:20:37 that there are many
00:20:37 --> 00:20:39 people who are single
00:20:39 --> 00:20:40 out of obedience
00:20:40 --> 00:20:41 to the Lord.
00:20:41 --> 00:20:42 They won't stand
00:20:42 --> 00:20:43 for marrying
00:20:43 --> 00:20:44 a non-Christian.
00:20:44 --> 00:20:45 They want to embrace
00:20:45 --> 00:20:46 God's wisdom
00:20:46 --> 00:20:47 about marriage
00:20:47 --> 00:20:48 and sexuality.
00:20:49 --> 00:20:51 That's a man
00:20:51 --> 00:20:52 or woman.
00:20:53 --> 00:20:53 You see,
00:20:53 --> 00:20:54 that's godly
00:20:54 --> 00:20:55 who's mature
00:20:55 --> 00:20:56 and faithful.
00:20:57 --> 00:20:58 And so in the same
00:20:58 --> 00:21:00 way that these
00:21:00 --> 00:21:01 are both gifts
00:21:01 --> 00:21:02 that grow us
00:21:02 --> 00:21:02 for maturity,
00:21:03 --> 00:21:03 both have its
00:21:03 --> 00:21:04 challenges.
00:21:04 --> 00:21:05 You see,
00:21:05 --> 00:21:06 Steve has spoken
00:21:06 --> 00:21:06 about the challenges
00:21:06 --> 00:21:07 in marriage,
00:21:07 --> 00:21:08 but they exist
00:21:08 --> 00:21:09 for the single person
00:21:09 --> 00:21:10 too in immense
00:21:10 --> 00:21:11 but sometimes
00:21:11 --> 00:21:12 quiet ways.
00:21:13 --> 00:21:14 I had an extroverted
00:21:14 --> 00:21:15 friend who lived
00:21:15 --> 00:21:16 alone who was envied
00:21:16 --> 00:21:17 by their friends
00:21:17 --> 00:21:17 and colleagues
00:21:17 --> 00:21:19 for being single
00:21:19 --> 00:21:19 during COVID
00:21:19 --> 00:21:21 and understandably
00:21:21 --> 00:21:21 it's because
00:21:21 --> 00:21:22 they didn't,
00:21:22 --> 00:21:23 like they had
00:21:23 --> 00:21:24 to deal with Zoom
00:21:24 --> 00:21:25 at school,
00:21:25 --> 00:21:25 they didn't have
00:21:25 --> 00:21:26 the kids 24-7
00:21:26 --> 00:21:28 while they were
00:21:28 --> 00:21:28 working and living
00:21:28 --> 00:21:30 but the thing
00:21:30 --> 00:21:31 for them is
00:21:31 --> 00:21:32 they hated isolation.
00:21:33 --> 00:21:34 They hated it.
00:21:35 --> 00:21:35 They didn't get
00:21:35 --> 00:21:36 to see their grandkids,
00:21:36 --> 00:21:36 they didn't get
00:21:36 --> 00:21:37 to hug anyone,
00:21:37 --> 00:21:38 they didn't get
00:21:38 --> 00:21:38 to have those
00:21:38 --> 00:21:40 physical conversations
00:21:40 --> 00:21:40 because there was
00:21:40 --> 00:21:41 no one at home.
00:21:41 --> 00:21:44 They are all
00:21:44 --> 00:21:45 challenges,
00:21:46 --> 00:21:46 they're just
00:21:46 --> 00:21:47 different.
00:21:48 --> 00:21:49 And so our vision
00:21:49 --> 00:21:50 of singleness
00:21:50 --> 00:21:51 and marriage
00:21:51 --> 00:21:52 should therefore
00:21:52 --> 00:21:53 be like this.
00:21:53 --> 00:21:54 It's two sides
00:21:54 --> 00:21:56 of the same coin,
00:21:56 --> 00:21:57 both with ways
00:21:57 --> 00:21:58 that mirror
00:21:58 --> 00:22:00 the faithfulness
00:22:00 --> 00:22:00 to Christ
00:22:00 --> 00:22:02 and both
00:22:02 --> 00:22:02 that uniquely
00:22:02 --> 00:22:04 show a glimpse
00:22:04 --> 00:22:05 of what it is
00:22:05 --> 00:22:06 like to be
00:22:06 --> 00:22:06 in heaven.
00:22:06 --> 00:22:07 And so,
00:22:08 --> 00:22:08 friends,
00:22:08 --> 00:22:10 I want to ask you,
00:22:10 --> 00:22:11 have you ever
00:22:11 --> 00:22:11 considered
00:22:11 --> 00:22:14 that side-by-side
00:22:14 --> 00:22:15 married and
00:22:15 --> 00:22:16 unmarried people
00:22:16 --> 00:22:17 can be mutually
00:22:17 --> 00:22:18 beneficial for
00:22:18 --> 00:22:19 our community?
00:22:20 --> 00:22:21 Not when they are
00:22:21 --> 00:22:22 siloed with only
00:22:22 --> 00:22:23 married people
00:22:23 --> 00:22:23 being friends
00:22:23 --> 00:22:25 and the unmarried
00:22:25 --> 00:22:26 and childless
00:22:26 --> 00:22:27 having another group,
00:22:27 --> 00:22:28 but when they love
00:22:28 --> 00:22:29 and serve
00:22:29 --> 00:22:30 and commit to being
00:22:30 --> 00:22:30 the family of God
00:22:30 --> 00:22:31 that they have been
00:22:31 --> 00:22:32 called to be.
00:22:32 --> 00:22:33 Here are a few
00:22:33 --> 00:22:34 things that I've seen
00:22:34 --> 00:22:35 in our community
00:22:35 --> 00:22:35 or others
00:22:35 --> 00:22:36 or things that I'd
00:22:36 --> 00:22:37 love to see more of
00:22:37 --> 00:22:38 where singleness
00:22:38 --> 00:22:39 and marriage together
00:22:39 --> 00:22:40 has been such
00:22:40 --> 00:22:41 a beautiful thing.
00:22:42 --> 00:22:42 Number one,
00:22:43 --> 00:22:45 when there's space
00:22:45 --> 00:22:46 given to single
00:22:46 --> 00:22:47 people to come
00:22:47 --> 00:22:47 over when the
00:22:47 --> 00:22:49 quiet is too much,
00:22:51 --> 00:22:52 inviting single
00:22:52 --> 00:22:53 and childless couples
00:22:53 --> 00:22:54 to be surrogate
00:22:54 --> 00:22:55 aunties and uncles
00:22:55 --> 00:22:56 to their kids,
00:22:57 --> 00:22:58 not excluding
00:22:58 --> 00:22:59 single friends
00:22:59 --> 00:22:59 from their
00:22:59 --> 00:23:00 multifamily holidays,
00:23:02 --> 00:23:02 being a trusted
00:23:02 --> 00:23:03 adult when mum
00:23:03 --> 00:23:04 and dad become
00:23:04 --> 00:23:05 a bit too
00:23:05 --> 00:23:05 annoyed.
00:23:08 --> 00:23:08 Friends,
00:23:08 --> 00:23:09 to the married
00:23:09 --> 00:23:10 and the unmarried,
00:23:11 --> 00:23:12 what does living
00:23:12 --> 00:23:12 now like
00:23:12 --> 00:23:13 you are home
00:23:13 --> 00:23:14 with Jesus?
00:23:14 --> 00:23:14 What does it look
00:23:14 --> 00:23:15 like?
00:23:16 --> 00:23:16 Because
00:23:16 --> 00:23:18 isn't that
00:23:18 --> 00:23:19 the beautiful thing
00:23:19 --> 00:23:20 about the gospel
00:23:20 --> 00:23:21 is that it brings
00:23:21 --> 00:23:21 family?
00:23:22 --> 00:23:23 That other
00:23:23 --> 00:23:25 Christians are
00:23:25 --> 00:23:25 your brothers
00:23:25 --> 00:23:26 and sisters
00:23:26 --> 00:23:28 as Paul keeps
00:23:28 --> 00:23:29 and reminding
00:23:29 --> 00:23:30 the church?
00:23:30 --> 00:23:32 And if you're
00:23:32 --> 00:23:33 still someone
00:23:33 --> 00:23:33 who's searching
00:23:33 --> 00:23:35 who Jesus is
00:23:35 --> 00:23:35 but you think
00:23:35 --> 00:23:37 there's something
00:23:37 --> 00:23:37 beautiful and
00:23:37 --> 00:23:39 attractive of this
00:23:39 --> 00:23:40 radical sense of
00:23:40 --> 00:23:40 community,
00:23:40 --> 00:23:41 I'd love to chat
00:23:41 --> 00:23:42 with you.
00:23:44 --> 00:23:44 Single friends,
00:23:44 --> 00:23:45 it's not wrong
00:23:45 --> 00:23:46 for you to want
00:23:46 --> 00:23:47 to make home
00:23:47 --> 00:23:49 on this life,
00:23:49 --> 00:23:51 to be married.
00:23:51 --> 00:23:51 Your desires
00:23:51 --> 00:23:52 are not wrong
00:23:52 --> 00:23:53 but remember
00:23:53 --> 00:23:54 there is a greater
00:23:54 --> 00:23:55 home being prepared
00:23:55 --> 00:23:55 for you.
00:23:55 --> 00:23:56 Remember that
00:23:56 --> 00:23:57 however long
00:23:57 --> 00:23:58 that season of
00:23:58 --> 00:23:59 singleness is,
00:24:00 --> 00:24:01 you have been
00:24:01 --> 00:24:03 uniquely positioned
00:24:03 --> 00:24:04 to point others
00:24:04 --> 00:24:05 to your home
00:24:05 --> 00:24:05 in heaven.
00:24:08 --> 00:24:09 Married friends,
00:24:10 --> 00:24:11 if you want
00:24:11 --> 00:24:12 to witness
00:24:12 --> 00:24:13 to your single
00:24:13 --> 00:24:14 friends,
00:24:15 --> 00:24:16 embrace them
00:24:16 --> 00:24:17 into your lives
00:24:17 --> 00:24:18 and have your
00:24:18 --> 00:24:19 marriage be a
00:24:19 --> 00:24:20 mirror that
00:24:20 --> 00:24:21 reflects the
00:24:21 --> 00:24:22 love of Christ
00:24:22 --> 00:24:22 and the church
00:24:22 --> 00:24:23 so visible
00:24:23 --> 00:24:24 that your
00:24:24 --> 00:24:25 Christian single
00:24:25 --> 00:24:26 friends will feel
00:24:26 --> 00:24:28 welcome in that
00:24:28 --> 00:24:30 love and that
00:24:30 --> 00:24:30 they are willing
00:24:30 --> 00:24:32 to pursue their
00:24:32 --> 00:24:32 cross to bear
00:24:32 --> 00:24:32 to.
00:24:33 --> 00:24:34 If you've been
00:24:34 --> 00:24:35 longing to be
00:24:35 --> 00:24:36 married but have
00:24:36 --> 00:24:37 chosen time after
00:24:37 --> 00:24:38 time to be
00:24:38 --> 00:24:39 faithful to God
00:24:39 --> 00:24:39 rather than
00:24:39 --> 00:24:40 disobeying his
00:24:40 --> 00:24:42 law, thank you
00:24:42 --> 00:24:42 for being a
00:24:42 --> 00:24:43 witness and
00:24:43 --> 00:24:44 standing firm.
00:24:45 --> 00:24:45 If you're a
00:24:45 --> 00:24:46 same-sex attracted
00:24:46 --> 00:24:47 Christian who has
00:24:47 --> 00:24:48 decided to walk
00:24:48 --> 00:24:49 the narrow path
00:24:49 --> 00:24:50 of faithful
00:24:50 --> 00:24:51 obedience in
00:24:51 --> 00:24:52 seeing God's
00:24:52 --> 00:24:53 beautiful picture
00:24:53 --> 00:24:55 of marriage
00:24:55 --> 00:24:55 marriage and
00:24:55 --> 00:24:56 decide to be
00:24:56 --> 00:24:57 celibate,
00:24:58 --> 00:24:58 hold firm to
00:24:58 --> 00:24:59 his promises
00:24:59 --> 00:25:00 and know his
00:25:00 --> 00:25:00 ever-present
00:25:00 --> 00:25:01 help.
00:25:03 --> 00:25:03 But I want to
00:25:03 --> 00:25:04 say specifically
00:25:04 --> 00:25:05 to those of you
00:25:05 --> 00:25:06 in the room who
00:25:06 --> 00:25:07 have been married
00:25:07 --> 00:25:08 and you have
00:25:08 --> 00:25:08 been sitting
00:25:08 --> 00:25:10 here in this
00:25:10 --> 00:25:11 room, sermon
00:25:11 --> 00:25:12 after sermon,
00:25:12 --> 00:25:12 and if you
00:25:12 --> 00:25:13 loved this
00:25:13 --> 00:25:14 beautiful picture
00:25:14 --> 00:25:14 of marriage and
00:25:14 --> 00:25:15 you wished that
00:25:15 --> 00:25:16 your last marriage
00:25:16 --> 00:25:17 shared that
00:25:17 --> 00:25:17 picture, but
00:25:17 --> 00:25:18 maybe you have
00:25:18 --> 00:25:19 some regrets on
00:25:19 --> 00:25:20 how you entered
00:25:20 --> 00:25:21 the relationship,
00:25:21 --> 00:25:22 not trusting in
00:25:22 --> 00:25:23 God's beautiful
00:25:23 --> 00:25:24 picture of what
00:25:24 --> 00:25:24 marriage should
00:25:24 --> 00:25:26 look like as a
00:25:26 --> 00:25:27 Christian, and
00:25:27 --> 00:25:28 you found yourself
00:25:28 --> 00:25:29 single once again.
00:25:30 --> 00:25:31 I want you to
00:25:31 --> 00:25:32 look at John 4.
00:25:32 --> 00:25:33 We see Jesus
00:25:33 --> 00:25:34 speak to a
00:25:34 --> 00:25:35 Samaritan woman.
00:25:35 --> 00:25:36 It's a story that
00:25:36 --> 00:25:37 many of you know
00:25:37 --> 00:25:39 because a Samaritan
00:25:39 --> 00:25:40 woman in this
00:25:40 --> 00:25:41 case is someone
00:25:41 --> 00:25:42 who had multiple
00:25:42 --> 00:25:43 marriages and in
00:25:43 --> 00:25:43 fact is a
00:25:43 --> 00:25:44 prostitute.
00:25:45 --> 00:25:46 And Jesus,
00:25:46 --> 00:25:47 despite knowing
00:25:47 --> 00:25:48 her, goes with
00:25:48 --> 00:25:49 purpose and
00:25:49 --> 00:25:50 presence.
00:25:51 --> 00:25:51 He, despite
00:25:51 --> 00:25:52 knowing all her
00:25:52 --> 00:25:53 sins and
00:25:53 --> 00:25:55 brokenness, doesn't
00:25:55 --> 00:25:56 withhold himself
00:25:56 --> 00:25:57 but offers living
00:25:57 --> 00:25:57 water.
00:25:59 --> 00:26:00 And the Lord
00:26:00 --> 00:26:00 Jesus comes to
00:26:00 --> 00:26:03 you with the
00:26:03 --> 00:26:04 same purpose
00:26:04 --> 00:26:06 and presence
00:26:06 --> 00:26:07 and says, I
00:26:07 --> 00:26:08 know what you've
00:26:08 --> 00:26:10 been through, and
00:26:10 --> 00:26:11 he loves you
00:26:11 --> 00:26:12 still and has
00:26:12 --> 00:26:13 prepared a home
00:26:13 --> 00:26:15 for you, that
00:26:15 --> 00:26:16 you too can
00:26:16 --> 00:26:17 live as though
00:26:17 --> 00:26:18 you are home
00:26:18 --> 00:26:19 with Jesus.
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00:26:19 --> 00:26:49 Thank you.