The Purpose of Marriage
Series: A Profound Mystery
Speaker: Steve Jeffrey
Date: 31st May 2026
00:00:00 --> 00:00:06 Good morning again. On the St. Paul's App, we've got an outline for today. We are four weeks in now.
00:00:07 --> 00:00:11 ! This is the fourth week on a series on marriage.
00:00:11 --> 00:00:14 We kicked off with the mystery of marriage.
00:00:14 --> 00:00:20 That is that the gospel of Jesus Christ and marriage explain each other.
00:00:20 --> 00:00:25 Marriage is the ultimate human relationship, but it is the penultimate relationship.
00:00:25 --> 00:00:30 It points to the eternal marriage of Christ and his church.
00:00:31 --> 00:00:32 Then we moved into the power of marriage.
00:00:33 --> 00:00:43 That is, what we saw there was that the problem, if you like, the main havoc-wreaking problem in many marriages
00:00:43 --> 00:00:49 and the ever-present problem in every marriage is self-centeredness.
00:00:49 --> 00:00:58 And Ephesians 5, which is our main test, says that marriage, everything that Paul writes about marriage
00:00:58 --> 00:01:04 that was just read out to us, hangs on verse 21.
00:01:06 --> 00:01:12 And it is the power to fulfill everything that Paul writes about marriage as he describes it.
00:01:12 --> 00:01:19 And that is the indwelling work of the Holy Spirit, pointing us to the gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ,
00:01:19 --> 00:01:23 who surrendered his will for our sake, gave himself for us.
00:01:23 --> 00:01:28 And therefore, the work of the Holy Spirit transforms us to be selfless.
00:01:30 --> 00:01:32 And then last week, it was the meaning of marriage.
00:01:32 --> 00:01:41 And that is a permanent and exclusive legal commitment between a man and a woman to share their entire life with the other.
00:01:41 --> 00:01:51 And so this binding legal commitment is what is needed to provide the security for romance
00:01:51 --> 00:01:55 and for love to flourish in life, in the married life.
00:01:55 --> 00:01:59 And now we're asking the question, well, now that we've got all that sorted out,
00:01:59 --> 00:02:01 what is marriage for?
00:02:01 --> 00:02:03 What's its purpose, if you like?
00:02:03 --> 00:02:04 What's its goal?
00:02:04 --> 00:02:05 That's what we're up to today.
00:02:06 --> 00:02:10 Four points, you've got them on the St. Paul's app if you've got that in front of you.
00:02:11 --> 00:02:17 Now, the Bible, as I said right at the very beginning, starts with a marriage.
00:02:18 --> 00:02:20 And it ends with a marriage.
00:02:20 --> 00:02:25 And in the Bible, it starts with God creating the material universe.
00:02:25 --> 00:02:29 The constant refrain in Genesis 1 and 2 is,
00:02:30 --> 00:02:32 He created, he created, he created.
00:02:33 --> 00:02:38 And then it says, the wording shifts when God creates humanity.
00:02:39 --> 00:02:42 And it says in chapter 1, verse 26,
00:02:42 --> 00:02:48 Let us make man in our image and our likeness.
00:02:49 --> 00:02:52 That is, the language shifts to being plural.
00:02:52 --> 00:02:53 Let us.
00:02:53 --> 00:02:59 But the image and the likeness of God is singular.
00:03:01 --> 00:03:03 And so what we have here, right at the very beginning of the Bible,
00:03:03 --> 00:03:05 is the earliest glimpse of the Christian teaching
00:03:05 --> 00:03:09 that there is one God who is three distinct persons,
00:03:10 --> 00:03:12 Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.
00:03:12 --> 00:03:17 Each person of the Trinity is fully, completely, totally God,
00:03:17 --> 00:03:21 and yet each person of the Trinity is distinct.
00:03:21 --> 00:03:25 And so what we see there, the implications of that,
00:03:26 --> 00:03:29 is that the very heart of ultimate reality,
00:03:30 --> 00:03:33 as the Christian faith describes it,
00:03:33 --> 00:03:35 is personal relationship.
00:03:35 --> 00:03:38 The God of Christianity is community,
00:03:39 --> 00:03:40 of mutual love relationships,
00:03:41 --> 00:03:47 sacrificing and serving each other two members of the Trinity,
00:03:47 --> 00:03:49 and delighting and loving them completely.
00:03:49 --> 00:03:52 They exist for the other two.
00:03:53 --> 00:03:56 And so that's the only way,
00:03:56 --> 00:04:04 that's the only context where we can come to terms with Genesis 2, verse 18.
00:04:05 --> 00:04:06 The Lord God said,
00:04:06 --> 00:04:11 It is not good for the man to be alone.
00:04:12 --> 00:04:17 You see, everything you read in the creation account up to this point
00:04:17 --> 00:04:22 is God said and it happened and God declared it to be good.
00:04:24 --> 00:04:27 This is the first time and the only time in the creation account
00:04:27 --> 00:04:29 that we read the words,
00:04:29 --> 00:04:32 not good, not good.
00:04:33 --> 00:04:35 And it's not because it's sin.
00:04:36 --> 00:04:38 It's not because there's a design flaw.
00:04:38 --> 00:04:42 I mean, Adam is in perfect paradise,
00:04:43 --> 00:04:45 walking and talking with God.
00:04:45 --> 00:04:47 He's made in the image of God,
00:04:47 --> 00:04:49 who is an us and not a me,
00:04:50 --> 00:04:53 and that is what is not good.
00:04:54 --> 00:04:56 Adam is alone.
00:04:56 --> 00:05:05 God created us to have such a deep need for human relationships
00:05:05 --> 00:05:10 that not even paradise itself can satisfy it.
00:05:11 --> 00:05:15 It's why you can accumulate everything in the world,
00:05:16 --> 00:05:19 but if you're alone, it means nothing.
00:05:22 --> 00:05:24 You see, what Adam needed,
00:05:24 --> 00:05:26 because God brought all the animals in front of him,
00:05:26 --> 00:05:31 what Adam needed was a companion who was like him,
00:05:32 --> 00:05:32 like him.
00:05:34 --> 00:05:36 And so Genesis 2.18,
00:05:36 --> 00:05:37 the Lord God said,
00:05:37 --> 00:05:39 it is not good for a man to be alone.
00:05:39 --> 00:05:43 I will make a helper suitable for him.
00:05:44 --> 00:05:45 Now,
00:05:46 --> 00:05:50 it says there in the original Hebrew language,
00:05:50 --> 00:05:54 God created what the Hebrew language calls or used.
00:05:54 --> 00:05:56 The word used there is an ezer.
00:05:57 --> 00:05:58 It means a,
00:05:59 --> 00:06:01 it's a word that means helper companion.
00:06:02 --> 00:06:03 Quite literally,
00:06:03 --> 00:06:06 what he needs is a friend.
00:06:08 --> 00:06:09 Adam needs a friend.
00:06:12 --> 00:06:14 So for all you dog lovers out there,
00:06:15 --> 00:06:17 a dog is not man's best friend.
00:06:17 --> 00:06:22 The concept of helper,
00:06:22 --> 00:06:24 and we need to understand this,
00:06:24 --> 00:06:27 unless it be taken out of context,
00:06:27 --> 00:06:29 helper here is not personal assistant.
00:06:30 --> 00:06:31 That's not what Adam needed.
00:06:31 --> 00:06:33 He didn't need someone to schedule stuff for him.
00:06:34 --> 00:06:35 He didn't need staff,
00:06:36 --> 00:06:38 not looking for a mate or a domestic helper at all.
00:06:38 --> 00:06:39 Doesn't mean,
00:06:41 --> 00:06:43 the wording in no way applies,
00:06:43 --> 00:06:45 and we'll unpack this later in the series.
00:06:45 --> 00:06:47 In no way applies at all,
00:06:47 --> 00:06:50 means that the helper,
00:06:50 --> 00:06:52 who is any less than Adam,
00:06:53 --> 00:06:58 because the woman too is made in the image of God.
00:06:58 --> 00:07:03 The Old Testament,
00:07:03 --> 00:07:06 the reason why we know it's not less than in any way whatsoever,
00:07:07 --> 00:07:10 is because the Old Testament uses the same word
00:07:10 --> 00:07:13 in a different context.
00:07:15 --> 00:07:17 And it's describing God.
00:07:17 --> 00:07:21 The same word that's used here for Adam's helper
00:07:21 --> 00:07:25 is the same word that is used to describe God
00:07:25 --> 00:07:28 and his relationship to Israel.
00:07:29 --> 00:07:30 He is,
00:07:31 --> 00:07:34 God is Israel's Ezer,
00:07:35 --> 00:07:37 companion helper,
00:07:39 --> 00:07:39 friend.
00:07:42 --> 00:07:44 And in actual fact,
00:07:44 --> 00:07:47 the verb form of Ezer,
00:07:47 --> 00:07:49 literally means the one,
00:07:49 --> 00:07:52 the friend who saves from danger.
00:07:53 --> 00:07:56 And so in the context of Genesis 2,
00:07:56 --> 00:07:58 what we're meant to read here is,
00:07:59 --> 00:08:02 God provides the man
00:08:02 --> 00:08:06 with a friend who delivers him from loneliness.
00:08:08 --> 00:08:09 That's the helper,
00:08:10 --> 00:08:11 a companion friend,
00:08:12 --> 00:08:13 equal to him,
00:08:14 --> 00:08:16 but different from him.
00:08:17 --> 00:08:21 And so in Genesis 2,
00:08:21 --> 00:08:22 verse 23,
00:08:22 --> 00:08:26 we have the very first recorded words of any human being.
00:08:27 --> 00:08:28 And this is it,
00:08:28 --> 00:08:30 an emphatic outburst.
00:08:30 --> 00:08:31 At last,
00:08:33 --> 00:08:36 this is bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh.
00:08:36 --> 00:08:39 at last.
00:08:41 --> 00:08:42 He says,
00:08:43 --> 00:08:47 he looks at the woman that God brings.
00:08:48 --> 00:08:50 You're just like me.
00:08:53 --> 00:08:54 Sort of.
00:08:54 --> 00:09:00 But he's saying something even deeper.
00:09:02 --> 00:09:03 In 2 Samuel 5,
00:09:03 --> 00:09:04 we read this,
00:09:04 --> 00:09:07 all the tribes of Israel came to David at Hebron
00:09:07 --> 00:09:08 and said,
00:09:08 --> 00:09:10 we are your own flesh and blood.
00:09:11 --> 00:09:11 Literally,
00:09:12 --> 00:09:13 in the Hebrew there,
00:09:13 --> 00:09:14 it's,
00:09:14 --> 00:09:17 we are your own flesh and bone.
00:09:17 --> 00:09:23 The same language is used in the Old Testament
00:09:23 --> 00:09:27 that Adam uses here when describing Eve,
00:09:27 --> 00:09:29 same language is used
00:09:29 --> 00:09:32 within the context of a covenant relationship.
00:09:32 --> 00:09:33 You see,
00:09:33 --> 00:09:34 what's happening here
00:09:34 --> 00:09:37 is that when they come to David,
00:09:37 --> 00:09:38 they're not saying,
00:09:39 --> 00:09:39 we're your family.
00:09:39 --> 00:09:44 David is king of Judah
00:09:44 --> 00:09:46 and Israel's looking for a king.
00:09:48 --> 00:09:50 In biblical language,
00:09:50 --> 00:09:54 flesh and bone represent weakness and strength.
00:09:54 --> 00:09:55 The flesh decays.
00:09:55 --> 00:09:57 The bone doesn't.
00:09:58 --> 00:10:00 It's a sign of one's weakness
00:10:00 --> 00:10:01 and one's strength.
00:10:02 --> 00:10:04 And so they're not making a statement
00:10:04 --> 00:10:05 that hey,
00:10:05 --> 00:10:06 we're family.
00:10:06 --> 00:10:08 They're making a statement
00:10:08 --> 00:10:10 of commitment to David,
00:10:11 --> 00:10:13 loyalty to him as their king.
00:10:14 --> 00:10:16 They're making a covenant statement.
00:10:18 --> 00:10:20 We will be loyal to you,
00:10:20 --> 00:10:21 King David,
00:10:22 --> 00:10:23 committed to you
00:10:23 --> 00:10:27 through all the ups and the downs,
00:10:27 --> 00:10:29 the high points and the low points
00:10:29 --> 00:10:32 in our future together.
00:10:34 --> 00:10:37 And so when God brings the woman to the man
00:10:37 --> 00:10:39 in Genesis 2,
00:10:39 --> 00:10:41 his first words are not,
00:10:41 --> 00:10:42 what a babe.
00:10:46 --> 00:10:49 The first recorded words
00:10:49 --> 00:10:52 are what would we call equivalent
00:10:52 --> 00:10:54 to wedding vows.
00:10:57 --> 00:11:00 In weakness and strength,
00:11:00 --> 00:11:01 in richer and poorer,
00:11:01 --> 00:11:02 sickness and in health,
00:11:02 --> 00:11:03 I am committed to you.
00:11:03 --> 00:11:07 my friend.
00:11:13 --> 00:11:14 So in the beginning,
00:11:14 --> 00:11:15 what we see here,
00:11:15 --> 00:11:17 God gave the man a companion
00:11:17 --> 00:11:19 to be his spouse.
00:11:19 --> 00:11:20 And in fact,
00:11:20 --> 00:11:21 the female speaker
00:11:21 --> 00:11:22 in the Song of Songs
00:11:22 --> 00:11:24 echoes Adam's words
00:11:24 --> 00:11:27 in chapter 5, verse 16,
00:11:27 --> 00:11:28 where she says,
00:11:28 --> 00:11:30 this is my lover,
00:11:30 --> 00:11:32 this is my friend.
00:11:35 --> 00:11:36 Marriage,
00:11:36 --> 00:11:39 expand the definition somewhat further,
00:11:40 --> 00:11:41 marriage is a permanent
00:11:41 --> 00:11:43 and exclusive legal commitment
00:11:43 --> 00:11:45 between a man and a woman
00:11:45 --> 00:11:48 to share their entire lives together
00:11:48 --> 00:11:50 as friends.
00:11:50 --> 00:11:53 So let's unpack
00:11:53 --> 00:11:56 what a friendship is.
00:11:56 --> 00:11:57 What's the biblical idea
00:11:57 --> 00:11:58 of friendship?
00:11:58 --> 00:11:59 The Bible does a lot,
00:12:00 --> 00:12:01 spends a lot of time
00:12:01 --> 00:12:03 unpacking what true friendship
00:12:03 --> 00:12:04 looks like
00:12:04 --> 00:12:06 and we have four main qualities
00:12:06 --> 00:12:08 in terms of biblical friendship.
00:12:09 --> 00:12:10 The first is dependability.
00:12:11 --> 00:12:13 Proverbs 17, 17,
00:12:13 --> 00:12:14 a friend loves at all times
00:12:14 --> 00:12:15 and a brother is born
00:12:15 --> 00:12:16 for a time of adversity.
00:12:17 --> 00:12:18 This is the opposite
00:12:18 --> 00:12:19 of the fair weather friend
00:12:19 --> 00:12:20 who comes over
00:12:20 --> 00:12:21 when things are successful
00:12:21 --> 00:12:22 but when it goes away
00:12:22 --> 00:12:24 when your prosperity hits
00:12:24 --> 00:12:25 or there's a,
00:12:25 --> 00:12:25 you know,
00:12:26 --> 00:12:27 your influence wanes
00:12:27 --> 00:12:28 or your status drops,
00:12:28 --> 00:12:29 you don't have so many
00:12:29 --> 00:12:30 Facebook friends anymore
00:12:30 --> 00:12:32 or sickness hits
00:12:32 --> 00:12:33 or whatever it might be.
00:12:33 --> 00:12:35 Proverbs 18, 24 says,
00:12:36 --> 00:12:36 true friends
00:12:36 --> 00:12:39 stick closer to a brother
00:12:39 --> 00:12:42 including the times of adversity.
00:12:43 --> 00:12:45 They are always there with you.
00:12:45 --> 00:12:47 They never leave you.
00:12:49 --> 00:12:50 The second quality
00:12:50 --> 00:12:51 is transparency.
00:12:52 --> 00:12:53 Real friends encourage
00:12:53 --> 00:12:55 and affirm one another
00:12:55 --> 00:12:58 but they also critique one another.
00:13:01 --> 00:13:02 Proverbs 27,
00:13:03 --> 00:13:06 better is open rebuke
00:13:06 --> 00:13:07 than hidden love.
00:13:07 --> 00:13:09 Wounds from a friend
00:13:09 --> 00:13:10 can be trusted
00:13:10 --> 00:13:14 but an enemy multiplies kisses.
00:13:14 --> 00:13:15 They just affirm.
00:13:15 --> 00:13:19 A true friend
00:13:19 --> 00:13:20 like a surgeon
00:13:20 --> 00:13:22 will cut you
00:13:22 --> 00:13:24 in order to heal you.
00:13:26 --> 00:13:28 Proverbs 27, 17
00:13:28 --> 00:13:29 tells us that
00:13:29 --> 00:13:31 friends become wiser together
00:13:31 --> 00:13:34 through a healthy clash
00:13:34 --> 00:13:35 of viewpoints.
00:13:36 --> 00:13:38 As iron sharpens iron
00:13:38 --> 00:13:41 so friends sharpen friends.
00:13:41 --> 00:13:43 And so you could
00:13:43 --> 00:13:44 summarise the first two qualities
00:13:44 --> 00:13:45 if you like
00:13:45 --> 00:13:47 as true friends
00:13:47 --> 00:13:48 will
00:13:48 --> 00:13:51 always
00:13:51 --> 00:13:53 let you in
00:13:53 --> 00:13:56 to who they are
00:13:56 --> 00:13:58 but they'll never
00:13:58 --> 00:13:59 let you down
00:13:59 --> 00:14:01 even when they let you in.
00:14:02 --> 00:14:04 The third quality
00:14:04 --> 00:14:04 of friendship
00:14:04 --> 00:14:05 is
00:14:05 --> 00:14:06 sympathy.
00:14:06 --> 00:14:07 Now sympathy
00:14:07 --> 00:14:09 is a combination
00:14:09 --> 00:14:11 of two Greek words
00:14:11 --> 00:14:12 which are
00:14:12 --> 00:14:13 synpathos
00:14:13 --> 00:14:14 which means
00:14:14 --> 00:14:15 common passion.
00:14:15 --> 00:14:16 That's what sympathy is.
00:14:16 --> 00:14:17 It's not empathy.
00:14:17 --> 00:14:19 They're two very different things.
00:14:19 --> 00:14:21 Sympathy is a common passion.
00:14:22 --> 00:14:23 So friends,
00:14:23 --> 00:14:25 friendships are discovered
00:14:25 --> 00:14:26 if you like
00:14:26 --> 00:14:30 as people discover
00:14:30 --> 00:14:31 that they have
00:14:31 --> 00:14:33 common interests
00:14:33 --> 00:14:35 in things
00:14:35 --> 00:14:35 and longings
00:14:35 --> 00:14:37 for the same sort of things.
00:14:38 --> 00:14:39 C.S. Lewis
00:14:39 --> 00:14:39 in his book
00:14:39 --> 00:14:40 The Four Loves
00:14:40 --> 00:14:42 insists
00:14:42 --> 00:14:43 if you draw a picture
00:14:43 --> 00:14:45 of the difference
00:14:45 --> 00:14:45 between
00:14:45 --> 00:14:47 erotic
00:14:47 --> 00:14:49 romantic love
00:14:49 --> 00:14:49 and
00:14:49 --> 00:14:50 friendship love
00:14:50 --> 00:14:52 he said
00:14:52 --> 00:14:53 erotic love
00:14:53 --> 00:14:54 is when two people
00:14:54 --> 00:14:54 are just looking
00:14:54 --> 00:14:55 at each other.
00:14:57 --> 00:14:57 He said
00:14:57 --> 00:14:57 friendship
00:14:57 --> 00:14:58 is when
00:14:58 --> 00:14:59 two people
00:14:59 --> 00:14:59 are standing
00:14:59 --> 00:15:01 side by side
00:15:01 --> 00:15:02 and
00:15:02 --> 00:15:03 are fixed
00:15:03 --> 00:15:04 on a common
00:15:04 --> 00:15:05 passion
00:15:05 --> 00:15:05 together.
00:15:07 --> 00:15:07 That's
00:15:07 --> 00:15:08 friendship.
00:15:08 --> 00:15:09 That's the difference.
00:15:11 --> 00:15:12 When we meet
00:15:12 --> 00:15:13 another person
00:15:13 --> 00:15:14 who shares
00:15:14 --> 00:15:15 our common
00:15:15 --> 00:15:15 passion
00:15:15 --> 00:15:17 there is a potential
00:15:17 --> 00:15:19 for a real
00:15:19 --> 00:15:19 friendship.
00:15:21 --> 00:15:22 If the real
00:15:22 --> 00:15:22 friendship
00:15:22 --> 00:15:23 is nurtured
00:15:23 --> 00:15:24 beyond the
00:15:24 --> 00:15:25 common passion
00:15:25 --> 00:15:26 to transparency
00:15:26 --> 00:15:28 and a
00:15:28 --> 00:15:29 constancy
00:15:29 --> 00:15:30 in the relationship
00:15:30 --> 00:15:31 if it's just
00:15:31 --> 00:15:32 the common
00:15:32 --> 00:15:33 passion
00:15:33 --> 00:15:34 passions
00:15:34 --> 00:15:36 wax and wane
00:15:36 --> 00:15:38 you know
00:15:38 --> 00:15:38 especially
00:15:38 --> 00:15:39 if your friend
00:15:39 --> 00:15:39 has got ADHD
00:15:39 --> 00:15:40 my goodness
00:15:40 --> 00:15:41 they'll change
00:15:41 --> 00:15:41 their mind
00:15:41 --> 00:15:42 all the time
00:15:42 --> 00:15:43 and so
00:15:43 --> 00:15:44 friends
00:15:44 --> 00:15:45 at stages
00:15:45 --> 00:15:45 of life
00:15:45 --> 00:15:46 particular
00:15:46 --> 00:15:46 passion
00:15:46 --> 00:15:47 they come
00:15:47 --> 00:15:48 and they go
00:15:48 --> 00:15:50 unless
00:15:50 --> 00:15:51 there's a
00:15:51 --> 00:15:52 constancy
00:15:52 --> 00:15:52 and a
00:15:52 --> 00:15:53 transparency
00:15:53 --> 00:15:53 you see
00:15:53 --> 00:15:54 the paradox
00:15:54 --> 00:15:55 is that
00:15:55 --> 00:15:56 friendship
00:15:56 --> 00:15:57 cannot be
00:15:57 --> 00:15:57 merely
00:15:57 --> 00:15:58 about itself
00:15:58 --> 00:16:00 you want
00:16:00 --> 00:16:00 a friend
00:16:00 --> 00:16:01 I need
00:16:01 --> 00:16:01 a friend
00:16:01 --> 00:16:01 well let's
00:16:01 --> 00:16:02 be friends
00:16:02 --> 00:16:03 that's not
00:16:03 --> 00:16:04 a friendship
00:16:04 --> 00:16:06 it must be
00:16:06 --> 00:16:07 about something
00:16:07 --> 00:16:08 that both
00:16:08 --> 00:16:09 friends are
00:16:09 --> 00:16:10 committed to
00:16:10 --> 00:16:10 and passionate
00:16:10 --> 00:16:11 about
00:16:11 --> 00:16:12 besides each
00:16:12 --> 00:16:12 other
00:16:12 --> 00:16:14 and this
00:16:14 --> 00:16:15 has
00:16:15 --> 00:16:16 absolutely
00:16:16 --> 00:16:17 remarkable
00:16:17 --> 00:16:18 application
00:16:18 --> 00:16:19 for every
00:16:19 --> 00:16:19 single
00:16:19 --> 00:16:20 Christian
00:16:20 --> 00:16:22 despite
00:16:22 --> 00:16:24 the enormous
00:16:24 --> 00:16:24 differences
00:16:24 --> 00:16:25 that we might
00:16:25 --> 00:16:26 have
00:16:26 --> 00:16:28 in life
00:16:28 --> 00:16:29 we have
00:16:29 --> 00:16:29 something
00:16:29 --> 00:16:30 in common
00:16:30 --> 00:16:31 that is
00:16:31 --> 00:16:32 far more
00:16:32 --> 00:16:33 powerful
00:16:33 --> 00:16:34 than any
00:16:34 --> 00:16:35 other
00:16:35 --> 00:16:35 common
00:16:35 --> 00:16:36 anything
00:16:36 --> 00:16:36 we might
00:16:36 --> 00:16:37 have in
00:16:37 --> 00:16:37 common
00:16:37 --> 00:16:38 or far
00:16:38 --> 00:16:38 more powerful
00:16:38 --> 00:16:39 than supersedes
00:16:39 --> 00:16:40 everything that
00:16:40 --> 00:16:40 we don't have
00:16:40 --> 00:16:41 in common
00:16:41 --> 00:16:43 and that is
00:16:43 --> 00:16:43 we've all
00:16:43 --> 00:16:44 experienced
00:16:44 --> 00:16:45 the grace
00:16:45 --> 00:16:46 of God
00:16:46 --> 00:16:46 in the
00:16:46 --> 00:16:47 gospel of
00:16:47 --> 00:16:47 the Lord
00:16:47 --> 00:16:47 Jesus
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00:17:02 --> 00:17:04 is a
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00:17:04 --> 00:17:05 goal
00:17:05 --> 00:17:07 if your
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00:17:11 --> 00:17:13 one of you
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00:17:42 --> 00:17:42 in common
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00:17:43 --> 00:17:44 heading
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00:18:02 --> 00:18:04 and so
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00:18:05 --> 00:18:06 that the
00:18:06 --> 00:18:07 Bible
00:18:07 --> 00:18:07 draws
00:18:07 --> 00:18:08 of this
00:18:08 --> 00:18:09 spiritual
00:18:09 --> 00:18:11 element
00:18:11 --> 00:18:12 to friendship
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00:18:14 --> 00:18:15 Christ and
00:18:15 --> 00:18:16 the common
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00:18:16 --> 00:18:18 is profoundly
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00:18:21 --> 00:18:22 you see
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00:18:40 --> 00:18:42 that develops
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00:18:59 --> 00:19:00 that's actually
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00:19:01 --> 00:19:04 for the
00:19:04 --> 00:19:04 Christian
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00:19:05 --> 00:19:05 is meant
00:19:05 --> 00:19:06 to be
00:19:06 --> 00:19:06 their
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00:19:07 --> 00:19:07 passion
00:19:07 --> 00:19:08 in life
00:19:08 --> 00:19:10 and
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00:19:24 --> 00:19:24 relationships
00:19:24 --> 00:19:25 are those
00:19:25 --> 00:19:27 that combine
00:19:27 --> 00:19:28 if you like
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00:19:39 --> 00:19:40 both
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00:19:41 --> 00:19:41 for
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00:19:42 --> 00:19:44 you know
00:19:44 --> 00:19:44 there's
00:19:44 --> 00:19:45 those things
00:19:45 --> 00:19:45 that link
00:19:45 --> 00:19:46 together
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00:19:51 --> 00:19:53 it's the
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00:19:59 --> 00:19:59 on those
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00:20:00 --> 00:20:00 and it
00:20:00 --> 00:20:01 adds
00:20:01 --> 00:20:02 to that
00:20:02 --> 00:20:02 the
00:20:02 --> 00:20:03 supernatural
00:20:03 --> 00:20:04 bonds
00:20:04 --> 00:20:05 of
00:20:05 --> 00:20:05 friendship
00:20:05 --> 00:20:07 a
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00:20:09 --> 00:20:12 as well
00:20:12 --> 00:20:13 where you
00:20:13 --> 00:20:14 don't
00:20:14 --> 00:20:15 not just
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00:20:15 --> 00:20:16 side by
00:20:16 --> 00:20:16 side
00:20:16 --> 00:20:16 looking at
00:20:16 --> 00:20:17 Jesus
00:20:17 --> 00:20:17 but you're
00:20:17 --> 00:20:17 looking at
00:20:17 --> 00:20:18 each other
00:20:18 --> 00:20:18 as you look
00:20:18 --> 00:20:19 to Jesus
00:20:19 --> 00:20:21 it's that
00:20:21 --> 00:20:21 other
00:20:21 --> 00:20:22 element
00:20:22 --> 00:20:23 and it's
00:20:23 --> 00:20:24 what makes
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00:20:24 --> 00:20:25 the richest
00:20:25 --> 00:20:26 and the
00:20:26 --> 00:20:27 deepest
00:20:27 --> 00:20:28 of human
00:20:28 --> 00:20:28 relationships
00:20:28 --> 00:20:30 and so
00:20:30 --> 00:20:30 in the
00:20:30 --> 00:20:31 Bible
00:20:31 --> 00:20:31 marriage
00:20:31 --> 00:20:32 is not
00:20:32 --> 00:20:32 romance
00:20:32 --> 00:20:34 garnished
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00:20:36 --> 00:20:38 it is
00:20:38 --> 00:20:38 actually
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00:20:39 --> 00:20:40 garnished
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00:20:44 --> 00:20:50 and that's
00:20:50 --> 00:20:51 why
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00:20:52 --> 00:20:52 Bible
00:20:52 --> 00:20:53 sees it
00:20:53 --> 00:20:54 you are
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00:20:54 --> 00:20:54 marriage
00:20:54 --> 00:20:55 marriage
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00:20:55 --> 00:20:55 where
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00:20:56 --> 00:20:56 married
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00:20:57 --> 00:20:57 friend
00:20:57 --> 00:21:00 you see
00:21:00 --> 00:21:01 when God
00:21:01 --> 00:21:01 brought
00:21:01 --> 00:21:02 the man
00:21:02 --> 00:21:02 brought
00:21:02 --> 00:21:03 this
00:21:03 --> 00:21:04 first
00:21:04 --> 00:21:04 man
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00:21:05 --> 00:21:06 he
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00:21:09 --> 00:21:09 not just
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00:21:22 --> 00:21:23 17
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00:21:54 --> 00:21:54 is in
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00:21:56 --> 00:21:56 written
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00:21:57 --> 00:21:57 2
00:21:57 --> 00:21:57 are
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00:21:58 --> 00:21:58 day
00:21:58 --> 00:21:58 in
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00:21:59 --> 00:21:59 age
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00:22:00 --> 00:22:01 where
00:22:01 --> 00:22:01 women
00:22:01 --> 00:22:02 were
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00:22:03 --> 00:22:04 seen
00:22:04 --> 00:22:05 as a
00:22:05 --> 00:22:05 husband's
00:22:05 --> 00:22:05 property
00:22:05 --> 00:22:08 where
00:22:08 --> 00:22:10 marriages
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00:22:16 --> 00:22:17 and to
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00:22:24 --> 00:22:25 bear
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00:22:33 --> 00:22:34 inconceivable
00:22:34 --> 00:22:34 in the
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00:22:35 --> 00:22:36 to
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00:22:37 --> 00:22:37 wife
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00:23:02 --> 00:23:04 that's
00:23:04 --> 00:23:04 the
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00:24:04 --> 00:24:04 go
00:24:04 --> 00:24:04 about
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00:24:04 --> 00:24:05 dating
00:24:05 --> 00:24:05 starting
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00:24:06 --> 00:24:06 wrong
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00:24:45 --> 00:24:45 you've
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00:24:59 --> 00:25:00 of close
00:25:00 --> 00:25:01 friends
00:25:01 --> 00:25:01 will
00:25:01 --> 00:25:02 capture
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00:25:02 --> 00:25:03 imagination
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00:25:10 --> 00:25:11 more
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00:25:12 --> 00:25:12 marriage
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00:25:16 --> 00:25:17 Ephesians
00:25:17 --> 00:25:18 5
00:25:18 --> 00:25:18 31
00:25:18 --> 00:25:20 is
00:25:20 --> 00:25:21 quoting
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00:25:21 --> 00:25:22 marriage
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00:25:22 --> 00:25:22 Genesis
00:25:22 --> 00:25:23 2
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00:25:27 --> 00:25:27 and
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00:25:27 --> 00:25:28 united
00:25:28 --> 00:25:28 to
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00:25:28 --> 00:25:28 wife
00:25:28 --> 00:25:29 and
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00:25:30 --> 00:25:32 ancient
00:25:32 --> 00:25:33 cultures
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00:25:37 --> 00:25:37 Ephesians
00:25:37 --> 00:25:38 5
00:25:38 --> 00:25:39 put
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00:25:41 --> 00:25:42 on the
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00:26:00 --> 00:26:00 all
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00:26:06 --> 00:26:07 traditional
00:26:07 --> 00:26:07 cultures
00:26:07 --> 00:26:08 even
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00:26:08 --> 00:26:10 parents
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00:26:48 --> 00:26:48 !
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00:27:00 --> 00:27:03 he
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00:27:04 --> 00:27:04 husband
00:27:04 --> 00:27:04 and a
00:27:04 --> 00:27:05 wife
00:27:05 --> 00:27:07 and
00:27:07 --> 00:27:07 what
00:27:07 --> 00:27:07 we are
00:27:07 --> 00:27:07 meant
00:27:07 --> 00:27:08 to see
00:27:08 --> 00:27:08 and
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00:27:10 --> 00:27:10 we're
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00:27:12 --> 00:27:14 supersedes
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00:27:19 --> 00:27:19 parental
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00:27:20 --> 00:27:21 the moment
00:27:21 --> 00:27:21 you get
00:27:21 --> 00:27:22 married
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00:27:24 --> 00:27:25 must be
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00:27:25 --> 00:27:26 to you
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00:27:26 --> 00:27:27 absolutely
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00:27:38 --> 00:27:38 your
00:27:38 --> 00:27:39 activity
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00:27:40 --> 00:27:40 commitment
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00:27:41 --> 00:27:41 spouse
00:27:41 --> 00:27:42 the
00:27:42 --> 00:27:42 wedding
00:27:42 --> 00:27:43 vows
00:27:43 --> 00:27:44 that we
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00:27:45 --> 00:27:45 clear
00:27:45 --> 00:27:45 of this
00:27:45 --> 00:27:46 in terms
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00:27:46 --> 00:27:47 traditional
00:27:47 --> 00:27:47 wedding
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00:27:49 --> 00:27:51 it
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00:27:52 --> 00:27:52 it
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00:27:52 --> 00:27:53 it
00:27:53 --> 00:27:53 up
00:27:53 --> 00:27:53 from
00:27:53 --> 00:27:53 Genesis
00:27:53 --> 00:27:54 2
00:27:54 --> 00:27:54 and
00:27:54 --> 00:27:55 Ephesians
00:27:55 --> 00:27:55 5
00:27:55 --> 00:27:56 and
00:27:56 --> 00:27:56 it's
00:27:56 --> 00:27:57 very
00:27:57 --> 00:27:57 clear
00:27:57 --> 00:27:58 the
00:27:58 --> 00:27:59 vow
00:27:59 --> 00:27:59 that you
00:27:59 --> 00:28:00 make
00:28:00 --> 00:28:00 is
00:28:00 --> 00:28:01 forsaking
00:28:01 --> 00:28:02 all
00:28:02 --> 00:28:02 others
00:28:02 --> 00:28:06 the
00:28:06 --> 00:28:06 all
00:28:06 --> 00:28:07 others
00:28:07 --> 00:28:07 is not
00:28:07 --> 00:28:08 forsaking
00:28:08 --> 00:28:08 other
00:28:08 --> 00:28:09 potential
00:28:09 --> 00:28:09 spouses
00:28:09 --> 00:28:10 it
00:28:10 --> 00:28:11 is
00:28:11 --> 00:28:12 all
00:28:12 --> 00:28:13 others
00:28:13 --> 00:28:18 it
00:28:18 --> 00:28:18 is
00:28:18 --> 00:28:18 very
00:28:18 --> 00:28:19 symbolic
00:28:19 --> 00:28:20 in a
00:28:20 --> 00:28:21 traditional
00:28:21 --> 00:28:21 service
00:28:21 --> 00:28:22 when the
00:28:22 --> 00:28:23 father
00:28:23 --> 00:28:23 comes
00:28:23 --> 00:28:24 with the
00:28:24 --> 00:28:24 bride
00:28:24 --> 00:28:24 down
00:28:24 --> 00:28:25 the
00:28:25 --> 00:28:25 aisle
00:28:25 --> 00:28:26 and
00:28:26 --> 00:28:26 stands
00:28:26 --> 00:28:27 before
00:28:27 --> 00:28:27 me
00:28:27 --> 00:28:27 there
00:28:27 --> 00:28:27 is
00:28:27 --> 00:28:27 a
00:28:27 --> 00:28:28 certain
00:28:28 --> 00:28:28 point
00:28:28 --> 00:28:30 where
00:28:30 --> 00:28:30 I
00:28:30 --> 00:28:31 ask
00:28:31 --> 00:28:31 the
00:28:31 --> 00:28:31 question
00:28:31 --> 00:28:32 who
00:28:32 --> 00:28:33 brings
00:28:33 --> 00:28:34 this
00:28:34 --> 00:28:34 bride
00:28:34 --> 00:28:34 to be
00:28:34 --> 00:28:35 married
00:28:35 --> 00:28:35 to
00:28:35 --> 00:28:35 this
00:28:35 --> 00:28:35 man
00:28:35 --> 00:28:36 this
00:28:36 --> 00:28:37 groom
00:28:37 --> 00:28:39 and
00:28:39 --> 00:28:39 the
00:28:39 --> 00:28:40 father
00:28:40 --> 00:28:40 or
00:28:40 --> 00:28:40 sometimes
00:28:40 --> 00:28:41 it's
00:28:41 --> 00:28:41 both
00:28:41 --> 00:28:41 the
00:28:41 --> 00:28:41 mother
00:28:41 --> 00:28:41 and
00:28:41 --> 00:28:41 the
00:28:41 --> 00:28:42 father
00:28:42 --> 00:28:42 stand
00:28:42 --> 00:28:42 up
00:28:42 --> 00:28:42 at
00:28:42 --> 00:28:42 that
00:28:42 --> 00:28:43 point
00:28:43 --> 00:28:43 and
00:28:43 --> 00:28:43 say
00:28:43 --> 00:28:44 we
00:28:44 --> 00:28:44 do
00:28:44 --> 00:28:44 or
00:28:44 --> 00:28:45 I
00:28:45 --> 00:28:45 do
00:28:45 --> 00:28:46 and
00:28:46 --> 00:28:46 at
00:28:46 --> 00:28:46 that
00:28:46 --> 00:28:46 point
00:28:46 --> 00:28:47 I
00:28:47 --> 00:28:47 say
00:28:47 --> 00:28:49 sit
00:28:49 --> 00:28:49 down
00:28:49 --> 00:28:52 thank
00:28:52 --> 00:28:52 you
00:28:52 --> 00:28:54 when
00:28:54 --> 00:28:54 I
00:28:54 --> 00:28:54 say
00:28:54 --> 00:28:55 sit
00:28:55 --> 00:28:55 down
00:28:55 --> 00:28:56 what
00:28:56 --> 00:28:56 I'm
00:28:56 --> 00:28:57 saying
00:28:57 --> 00:28:57 is
00:28:57 --> 00:28:58 sit
00:28:58 --> 00:28:59 down
00:28:59 --> 00:28:59 and
00:28:59 --> 00:29:00 back
00:29:00 --> 00:29:00 away
00:29:00 --> 00:29:03 that's
00:29:03 --> 00:29:04 what
00:29:04 --> 00:29:04 that's
00:29:04 --> 00:29:05 symbolically
00:29:05 --> 00:29:05 what's
00:29:05 --> 00:29:05 happening
00:29:05 --> 00:29:06 there
00:29:06 --> 00:29:07 you've
00:29:07 --> 00:29:08 done a
00:29:08 --> 00:29:08 great
00:29:08 --> 00:29:08 job
00:29:08 --> 00:29:09 it's
00:29:09 --> 00:29:09 now
00:29:09 --> 00:29:09 over
00:29:09 --> 00:29:15 God
00:29:15 --> 00:29:16 here
00:29:16 --> 00:29:16 in
00:29:16 --> 00:29:17 Ephesians
00:29:17 --> 00:29:17 5
00:29:17 --> 00:29:18 which is
00:29:18 --> 00:29:18 even
00:29:18 --> 00:29:18 more
00:29:18 --> 00:29:19 remarkable
00:29:19 --> 00:29:21 in a
00:29:21 --> 00:29:21 patriarchal
00:29:21 --> 00:29:22 society
00:29:22 --> 00:29:23 for the
00:29:23 --> 00:29:24 man
00:29:24 --> 00:29:26 to
00:29:26 --> 00:29:26 leave
00:29:26 --> 00:29:27 his
00:29:27 --> 00:29:27 father
00:29:27 --> 00:29:28 and
00:29:28 --> 00:29:28 mother
00:29:28 --> 00:29:30 whereas
00:29:30 --> 00:29:31 we
00:29:31 --> 00:29:31 think
00:29:31 --> 00:29:32 in
00:29:32 --> 00:29:32 patriarchal
00:29:32 --> 00:29:33 societies
00:29:33 --> 00:29:34 the
00:29:34 --> 00:29:34 woman
00:29:34 --> 00:29:34 now
00:29:34 --> 00:29:35 joins
00:29:35 --> 00:29:35 the
00:29:35 --> 00:29:36 man
00:29:36 --> 00:29:36 and
00:29:36 --> 00:29:36 becomes
00:29:36 --> 00:29:37 part
00:29:37 --> 00:29:37 of
00:29:37 --> 00:29:38 the
00:29:38 --> 00:29:38 man's
00:29:38 --> 00:29:39 family
00:29:39 --> 00:29:41 that's
00:29:41 --> 00:29:41 not
00:29:41 --> 00:29:41 what's
00:29:41 --> 00:29:41 happening
00:29:41 --> 00:29:42 in
00:29:42 --> 00:29:42 Ephesians
00:29:42 --> 00:29:42 5
00:29:42 --> 00:29:49 if
00:29:49 --> 00:29:49 you
00:29:49 --> 00:29:49 are
00:29:49 --> 00:29:50 married
00:29:50 --> 00:29:51 the
00:29:51 --> 00:29:51 opinion
00:29:51 --> 00:29:51 of
00:29:51 --> 00:29:52 your
00:29:52 --> 00:29:52 parents
00:29:52 --> 00:29:52 ought
00:29:52 --> 00:29:53 not
00:29:53 --> 00:29:53 to
00:29:53 --> 00:29:53 be
00:29:53 --> 00:29:53 more
00:29:53 --> 00:29:54 important
00:29:54 --> 00:29:54 than
00:29:54 --> 00:29:54 your
00:29:54 --> 00:29:55 spouses
00:29:55 --> 00:29:59 nothing
00:29:59 --> 00:29:59 should
00:29:59 --> 00:29:59 get
00:29:59 --> 00:30:00 more
00:30:00 --> 00:30:00 of
00:30:00 --> 00:30:00 your
00:30:00 --> 00:30:01 ingenuity
00:30:01 --> 00:30:01 your
00:30:01 --> 00:30:01 time
00:30:01 --> 00:30:02 and
00:30:02 --> 00:30:02 your
00:30:02 --> 00:30:02 energy
00:30:02 --> 00:30:02 than
00:30:02 --> 00:30:03 your
00:30:03 --> 00:30:03 spouse
00:30:03 --> 00:30:04 if
00:30:04 --> 00:30:04 your
00:30:04 --> 00:30:05 spouse
00:30:05 --> 00:30:05 does
00:30:05 --> 00:30:05 not
00:30:05 --> 00:30:06 feel
00:30:06 --> 00:30:06 that
00:30:06 --> 00:30:06 you
00:30:06 --> 00:30:06 are
00:30:06 --> 00:30:06 putting
00:30:06 --> 00:30:07 him
00:30:07 --> 00:30:07 or
00:30:07 --> 00:30:07 her
00:30:07 --> 00:30:08 first
00:30:08 --> 00:30:08 then
00:30:08 --> 00:30:08 by
00:30:08 --> 00:30:09 definition
00:30:09 --> 00:30:09 you
00:30:09 --> 00:30:10 are
00:30:10 --> 00:30:10 not
00:30:10 --> 00:30:12 you're
00:30:12 --> 00:30:13 not
00:30:13 --> 00:30:16 if
00:30:16 --> 00:30:16 you've
00:30:16 --> 00:30:16 got a
00:30:16 --> 00:30:16 communication
00:30:16 --> 00:30:17 problem
00:30:17 --> 00:30:17 and one
00:30:17 --> 00:30:18 says
00:30:18 --> 00:30:18 I don't
00:30:18 --> 00:30:19 think we've
00:30:19 --> 00:30:19 got a
00:30:19 --> 00:30:19 communication
00:30:19 --> 00:30:20 problem
00:30:20 --> 00:30:20 the other
00:30:20 --> 00:30:20 says
00:30:20 --> 00:30:21 we do
00:30:21 --> 00:30:21 have a
00:30:21 --> 00:30:21 communication
00:30:21 --> 00:30:22 problem
00:30:22 --> 00:30:23 by definition
00:30:23 --> 00:30:24 you've got a
00:30:24 --> 00:30:24 communication
00:30:24 --> 00:30:24 problem
00:30:24 --> 00:30:31 and when
00:30:31 --> 00:30:34 when this
00:30:34 --> 00:30:34 happens
00:30:34 --> 00:30:36 your marriage
00:30:36 --> 00:30:37 is dying
00:30:37 --> 00:30:38 you're
00:30:38 --> 00:30:38
00:30:38 --> 00:30:38 in a
00:30:38 --> 00:30:38 lot
00:30:38 --> 00:30:38 of
00:30:38 --> 00:30:39 trouble
00:30:39 --> 00:30:42 too
00:30:42 --> 00:30:42 many
00:30:42 --> 00:30:42 marriage
00:30:42 --> 00:30:43 problems
00:30:43 --> 00:30:43 arise
00:30:43 --> 00:30:44 because
00:30:44 --> 00:30:44 couples
00:30:44 --> 00:30:45 are
00:30:45 --> 00:30:45 yet
00:30:45 --> 00:30:46 or
00:30:46 --> 00:30:46 have
00:30:46 --> 00:30:47 never
00:30:47 --> 00:30:50 left
00:30:50 --> 00:30:50
00:30:51 --> 00:30:52 They've
00:30:52 --> 00:30:52 never
00:30:52 --> 00:30:52 gone
00:30:52 --> 00:30:52 through
00:30:52 --> 00:30:53 the
00:30:53 --> 00:30:53 process
00:30:53 --> 00:30:53 of
00:30:53 --> 00:30:53 leaving
00:30:53 --> 00:30:54 and
00:30:54 --> 00:30:54 cleaving
00:30:54 --> 00:30:54 to
00:30:54 --> 00:30:55 each
00:30:55 --> 00:30:55 other
00:30:55 --> 00:30:57 and
00:30:57 --> 00:30:58 just
00:30:58 --> 00:30:58 bear in
00:30:58 --> 00:30:58 mind
00:30:58 --> 00:30:58 here
00:30:58 --> 00:31:00 when we
00:31:00 --> 00:31:00 hear that
00:31:00 --> 00:31:01 we think
00:31:01 --> 00:31:02 mummy's
00:31:02 --> 00:31:02 boy
00:31:02 --> 00:31:03 kind of
00:31:03 --> 00:31:04 person
00:31:04 --> 00:31:04 the person
00:31:04 --> 00:31:04 who's
00:31:04 --> 00:31:05 not
00:31:05 --> 00:31:05 cut
00:31:05 --> 00:31:05 the
00:31:05 --> 00:31:05 apron
00:31:05 --> 00:31:06 strings
00:31:06 --> 00:31:07 yes
00:31:07 --> 00:31:08 that's
00:31:08 --> 00:31:08 one
00:31:08 --> 00:31:09 example
00:31:09 --> 00:31:09 of it
00:31:09 --> 00:31:10 another
00:31:10 --> 00:31:11 example
00:31:11 --> 00:31:11 of it
00:31:11 --> 00:31:12 is those
00:31:12 --> 00:31:12 who have
00:31:12 --> 00:31:12 a real
00:31:12 --> 00:31:13 detesting
00:31:13 --> 00:31:14 of their
00:31:14 --> 00:31:14 parents
00:31:14 --> 00:31:15 you too
00:31:15 --> 00:31:16 have not
00:31:16 --> 00:31:16 left
00:31:16 --> 00:31:18 and cleaved
00:31:18 --> 00:31:20 if you
00:31:20 --> 00:31:21 resent your
00:31:21 --> 00:31:21 parents
00:31:21 --> 00:31:22 you still
00:31:22 --> 00:31:22 haven't
00:31:22 --> 00:31:22 left
00:31:22 --> 00:31:22 them
00:31:22 --> 00:31:25 you're
00:31:25 --> 00:31:25 still
00:31:25 --> 00:31:25 making
00:31:25 --> 00:31:26 decisions
00:31:26 --> 00:31:27 about
00:31:27 --> 00:31:27 your
00:31:27 --> 00:31:27 married
00:31:27 --> 00:31:28 life
00:31:28 --> 00:31:29 to
00:31:29 --> 00:31:30 spite
00:31:30 --> 00:31:30 them
00:31:30 --> 00:31:36 so many
00:31:36 --> 00:31:37 spouses
00:31:37 --> 00:31:37 allow
00:31:37 --> 00:31:38 their
00:31:38 --> 00:31:38 bad
00:31:38 --> 00:31:38 relationship
00:31:38 --> 00:31:39 to
00:31:39 --> 00:31:39 their
00:31:39 --> 00:31:39 parents
00:31:39 --> 00:31:39 to
00:31:39 --> 00:31:40 control
00:31:40 --> 00:31:40 how
00:31:40 --> 00:31:40 they
00:31:40 --> 00:31:40 relate
00:31:40 --> 00:31:40 to
00:31:40 --> 00:31:41 their
00:31:41 --> 00:31:41 spouse
00:31:41 --> 00:31:42 you
00:31:42 --> 00:31:42 must
00:31:42 --> 00:31:43 leave
00:31:43 --> 00:31:43 it
00:31:43 --> 00:31:44 behind
00:31:44 --> 00:31:48 leaving
00:31:48 --> 00:31:48 and
00:31:48 --> 00:31:48 cleaving
00:31:48 --> 00:31:50 means
00:31:50 --> 00:31:50 that
00:31:50 --> 00:31:51 no
00:31:51 --> 00:31:51 couple
00:31:51 --> 00:31:52 should
00:31:52 --> 00:31:53 do
00:31:53 --> 00:31:53 anything
00:31:53 --> 00:31:56 anything
00:31:56 --> 00:31:56 at all
00:31:56 --> 00:31:57 simply
00:31:57 --> 00:31:58 because
00:31:58 --> 00:31:58 my
00:31:58 --> 00:31:58 family
00:31:58 --> 00:31:59 did it
00:31:59 --> 00:31:59 this
00:31:59 --> 00:31:59 way
00:31:59 --> 00:32:01 if
00:32:01 --> 00:32:02 the
00:32:02 --> 00:32:02 Bible
00:32:02 --> 00:32:02 says
00:32:02 --> 00:32:03 you
00:32:03 --> 00:32:03 do
00:32:03 --> 00:32:03 it
00:32:03 --> 00:32:03 it's
00:32:03 --> 00:32:04 unquestioned
00:32:04 --> 00:32:05 everything
00:32:05 --> 00:32:05 else
00:32:05 --> 00:32:05 is open
00:32:05 --> 00:32:05 for
00:32:05 --> 00:32:06 negotiation
00:32:06 --> 00:32:08 one of
00:32:08 --> 00:32:08 the things
00:32:08 --> 00:32:09 I do
00:32:09 --> 00:32:09 when I
00:32:09 --> 00:32:09 tell
00:32:09 --> 00:32:09 couples
00:32:09 --> 00:32:10 or
00:32:10 --> 00:32:11 prepare
00:32:11 --> 00:32:11 couples
00:32:11 --> 00:32:11 for
00:32:11 --> 00:32:11 marriage
00:32:11 --> 00:32:13 one bit
00:32:13 --> 00:32:13 of advice
00:32:13 --> 00:32:14 I ask
00:32:14 --> 00:32:14 them
00:32:14 --> 00:32:14 or one
00:32:14 --> 00:32:14 question
00:32:14 --> 00:32:15 I ask
00:32:15 --> 00:32:15 them
00:32:15 --> 00:32:15 what are
00:32:15 --> 00:32:16 you doing
00:32:16 --> 00:32:16 on the
00:32:16 --> 00:32:16 first
00:32:16 --> 00:32:16 Christmas
00:32:16 --> 00:32:17 after
00:32:17 --> 00:32:17 you've
00:32:17 --> 00:32:17 been
00:32:17 --> 00:32:17 married
00:32:17 --> 00:32:19 I
00:32:19 --> 00:32:19 don't
00:32:19 --> 00:32:19 know
00:32:19 --> 00:32:19 I
00:32:19 --> 00:32:19 haven't
00:32:19 --> 00:32:19 thought
00:32:19 --> 00:32:20 about
00:32:20 --> 00:32:20 it
00:32:20 --> 00:32:20 think
00:32:20 --> 00:32:21 about
00:32:21 --> 00:32:21 it
00:32:21 --> 00:32:23 here's
00:32:23 --> 00:32:23 my
00:32:23 --> 00:32:24 recommendation
00:32:24 --> 00:32:26 set
00:32:26 --> 00:32:27 the
00:32:27 --> 00:32:27 agenda
00:32:27 --> 00:32:27 right
00:32:27 --> 00:32:28 from the
00:32:28 --> 00:32:28 very
00:32:28 --> 00:32:28 beginning
00:32:28 --> 00:32:30 to do
00:32:30 --> 00:32:30 your
00:32:30 --> 00:32:30 own
00:32:30 --> 00:32:31 thing
00:32:31 --> 00:32:31 on your
00:32:31 --> 00:32:31 very
00:32:31 --> 00:32:31 first
00:32:31 --> 00:32:32 Christmas
00:32:32 --> 00:32:34 accept
00:32:34 --> 00:32:34 no
00:32:34 --> 00:32:35 invitation
00:32:35 --> 00:32:35 from extended
00:32:35 --> 00:32:36 family
00:32:36 --> 00:32:37 and do
00:32:37 --> 00:32:37 your own
00:32:37 --> 00:32:37 thing
00:32:37 --> 00:32:38 for the
00:32:38 --> 00:32:38 very
00:32:38 --> 00:32:38 first
00:32:38 --> 00:32:38 Christmas
00:32:38 --> 00:32:41 set
00:32:41 --> 00:32:41 the
00:32:41 --> 00:32:41 pattern
00:32:41 --> 00:32:42 that you
00:32:42 --> 00:32:42 are a
00:32:42 --> 00:32:42 new
00:32:42 --> 00:32:43 family
00:32:43 --> 00:32:43 unit
00:32:43 --> 00:33:13
00:33:13 --> 00:33:13 and that
00:33:13 --> 00:33:14 spouse
00:33:14 --> 00:33:14 is not
00:33:14 --> 00:33:15 left
00:33:15 --> 00:33:18 now
00:33:18 --> 00:33:19 the
00:33:19 --> 00:33:19 other
00:33:19 --> 00:33:20 problem
00:33:20 --> 00:33:20 that
00:33:20 --> 00:33:20 sinks
00:33:20 --> 00:33:21 so
00:33:21 --> 00:33:21 many
00:33:21 --> 00:33:22 marriages
00:33:22 --> 00:33:23 is the
00:33:23 --> 00:33:23 over
00:33:23 --> 00:33:24 commitment
00:33:24 --> 00:33:25 to
00:33:25 --> 00:33:25 the
00:33:25 --> 00:33:26 next
00:33:26 --> 00:33:26 generation
00:33:26 --> 00:33:26 to
00:33:26 --> 00:33:27 children
00:33:27 --> 00:33:29 this
00:33:29 --> 00:33:29 one's
00:33:29 --> 00:33:30 slightly
00:33:30 --> 00:33:30 more
00:33:30 --> 00:33:30 harder
00:33:30 --> 00:33:31 because
00:33:31 --> 00:33:32 they're
00:33:32 --> 00:33:32 actually
00:33:32 --> 00:33:33 part
00:33:33 --> 00:33:33 of
00:33:33 --> 00:33:33 your
00:33:33 --> 00:33:33 new
00:33:33 --> 00:33:33 family
00:33:33 --> 00:33:34 unit
00:33:34 --> 00:33:35 they're
00:33:35 --> 00:33:36 not
00:33:36 --> 00:33:36 part
00:33:36 --> 00:33:36 of
00:33:36 --> 00:33:36 your
00:33:36 --> 00:33:36 former
00:33:36 --> 00:33:37 family
00:33:37 --> 00:33:37 unit
00:33:37 --> 00:33:37 they're
00:33:37 --> 00:33:37 part
00:33:37 --> 00:33:37 of
00:33:37 --> 00:33:38 your
00:33:38 --> 00:33:38 new
00:33:38 --> 00:33:38 family
00:33:38 --> 00:33:38 unit
00:33:38 --> 00:33:39 and so
00:33:39 --> 00:33:39 it's
00:33:39 --> 00:33:39 right
00:33:39 --> 00:33:40 to
00:33:40 --> 00:33:40 consider
00:33:40 --> 00:33:40 that
00:33:40 --> 00:33:41 parenting
00:33:41 --> 00:33:41 is a
00:33:41 --> 00:33:41 very
00:33:41 --> 00:33:42 high
00:33:42 --> 00:33:42 and
00:33:42 --> 00:33:43 important
00:33:43 --> 00:33:43 calling
00:33:43 --> 00:33:43 in
00:33:43 --> 00:33:43 life
00:33:43 --> 00:33:45 if
00:33:45 --> 00:33:46 a
00:33:46 --> 00:33:46 marriage
00:33:46 --> 00:33:47 cools
00:33:47 --> 00:33:48 which
00:33:48 --> 00:33:48 it
00:33:48 --> 00:33:49 can
00:33:49 --> 00:33:49 in
00:33:49 --> 00:33:49 the
00:33:49 --> 00:33:50 years
00:33:50 --> 00:33:50 during
00:33:50 --> 00:33:52 when
00:33:52 --> 00:33:52 the
00:33:52 --> 00:33:52 kids
00:33:52 --> 00:33:52 are
00:33:52 --> 00:33:53 so
00:33:53 --> 00:33:54 needy
00:33:54 --> 00:33:56 which
00:33:56 --> 00:33:56 means
00:33:56 --> 00:33:57 up to
00:33:57 --> 00:33:57 probably
00:33:57 --> 00:33:57 about
00:33:57 --> 00:33:57 25
00:33:57 --> 00:33:58 nowadays
00:33:58 --> 00:34:00 it
00:34:00 --> 00:34:00 is
00:34:00 --> 00:34:02 it
00:34:02 --> 00:34:02 is
00:34:02 --> 00:34:03 natural
00:34:03 --> 00:34:03 to
00:34:03 --> 00:34:04 get
00:34:04 --> 00:34:04 your
00:34:04 --> 00:34:05 primary
00:34:05 --> 00:34:06 need
00:34:06 --> 00:34:06 of
00:34:06 --> 00:34:07 love
00:34:07 --> 00:34:10 and
00:34:10 --> 00:34:10 affection
00:34:10 --> 00:34:12 to
00:34:12 --> 00:34:12 have
00:34:12 --> 00:34:12 it
00:34:12 --> 00:34:12 met
00:34:12 --> 00:34:12 through
00:34:12 --> 00:34:13 the
00:34:13 --> 00:34:13 child
00:34:13 --> 00:34:14 parent
00:34:14 --> 00:34:15 relationship
00:34:15 --> 00:34:16 rather
00:34:16 --> 00:34:16 than
00:34:16 --> 00:34:16 the
00:34:16 --> 00:34:17 husband
00:34:17 --> 00:34:17 wife
00:34:17 --> 00:34:19 relationship
00:34:19 --> 00:34:21 but
00:34:21 --> 00:34:21 when
00:34:21 --> 00:34:21 we
00:34:21 --> 00:34:22 love
00:34:22 --> 00:34:22 our
00:34:22 --> 00:34:23 children
00:34:23 --> 00:34:24 more
00:34:24 --> 00:34:24 than
00:34:24 --> 00:34:24 we
00:34:24 --> 00:34:25 love
00:34:25 --> 00:34:25 our
00:34:25 --> 00:34:26 spouse
00:34:26 --> 00:34:27 then
00:34:27 --> 00:34:27 the
00:34:27 --> 00:34:28 entire
00:34:28 --> 00:34:29 family
00:34:29 --> 00:34:29 unit
00:34:29 --> 00:34:29 gets
00:34:29 --> 00:34:30 pulled
00:34:30 --> 00:34:30 off
00:34:30 --> 00:34:30 centre
00:34:30 --> 00:34:31 and
00:34:31 --> 00:34:32 everyone
00:34:32 --> 00:34:32 suffers
00:34:32 --> 00:34:34 it's
00:34:34 --> 00:34:34 the
00:34:34 --> 00:34:34 worst
00:34:34 --> 00:34:34 thing
00:34:34 --> 00:34:35 you can
00:34:35 --> 00:34:35 do
00:34:35 --> 00:34:35 for
00:34:35 --> 00:34:36 your
00:34:36 --> 00:34:36 children
00:34:36 --> 00:34:42 it's
00:34:42 --> 00:34:42 why
00:34:42 --> 00:34:43 so
00:34:43 --> 00:34:43 many
00:34:43 --> 00:34:43 marriages
00:34:43 --> 00:34:45 come
00:34:45 --> 00:34:45 to a
00:34:45 --> 00:34:46 grinding
00:34:46 --> 00:34:46 halt
00:34:46 --> 00:34:46 when
00:34:46 --> 00:34:47 the
00:34:47 --> 00:34:47 kids
00:34:47 --> 00:34:48 depart
00:34:48 --> 00:34:50 Ephesians
00:34:50 --> 00:34:50 6
00:34:50 --> 00:34:51 verse 4
00:34:51 --> 00:34:51 says
00:34:51 --> 00:34:51 the
00:34:51 --> 00:34:52 goal
00:34:52 --> 00:34:53 of
00:34:53 --> 00:34:54 parenting
00:34:54 --> 00:34:55 is
00:34:55 --> 00:34:55 to
00:34:55 --> 00:34:56 raise
00:34:56 --> 00:34:56 them
00:34:56 --> 00:34:56 up
00:34:56 --> 00:34:57 in
00:34:57 --> 00:34:57 the
00:34:57 --> 00:34:58 Lord
00:34:58 --> 00:34:59 raise
00:34:59 --> 00:34:59 them
00:34:59 --> 00:34:59 up
00:34:59 --> 00:35:00 grow
00:35:00 --> 00:35:00 them
00:35:00 --> 00:35:00 up
00:35:00 --> 00:35:00 the
00:35:00 --> 00:35:00 goal
00:35:00 --> 00:35:01 of
00:35:01 --> 00:35:01 parenting
00:35:01 --> 00:35:02 to
00:35:02 --> 00:35:03 summarize
00:35:03 --> 00:35:03 that
00:35:03 --> 00:35:04 the
00:35:04 --> 00:35:04 goal
00:35:04 --> 00:35:04 of
00:35:04 --> 00:35:05 parenting
00:35:05 --> 00:35:05 is
00:35:05 --> 00:35:05 to
00:35:05 --> 00:35:05 get
00:35:05 --> 00:35:05 rid
00:35:05 --> 00:35:05 of
00:35:05 --> 00:35:05 them
00:35:05 --> 00:35:08 to
00:35:08 --> 00:35:08 have
00:35:08 --> 00:35:08 them
00:35:08 --> 00:35:08 in
00:35:08 --> 00:35:09 order
00:35:09 --> 00:35:09 to
00:35:09 --> 00:35:09 get
00:35:09 --> 00:35:09 rid
00:35:09 --> 00:35:09 of
00:35:09 --> 00:35:09 them
00:35:09 --> 00:35:10 that's
00:35:10 --> 00:35:10 the
00:35:10 --> 00:35:10 goal
00:35:10 --> 00:35:12 I've
00:35:12 --> 00:35:12 summarized
00:35:12 --> 00:35:13 it
00:35:13 --> 00:35:16 that's
00:35:16 --> 00:35:17 not
00:35:17 --> 00:35:17 the
00:35:17 --> 00:35:17 goal
00:35:17 --> 00:35:19 in
00:35:19 --> 00:35:19 this
00:35:19 --> 00:35:20 life
00:35:20 --> 00:35:22 that you
00:35:22 --> 00:35:23 should
00:35:23 --> 00:35:23 have
00:35:23 --> 00:35:23 for
00:35:23 --> 00:35:23 your
00:35:23 --> 00:35:24 spouse
00:35:24 --> 00:35:26 the
00:35:26 --> 00:35:27 best
00:35:27 --> 00:35:27 way
00:35:27 --> 00:35:27 to
00:35:27 --> 00:35:27 be
00:35:27 --> 00:35:28 a
00:35:28 --> 00:35:28 great
00:35:28 --> 00:35:29 parent
00:35:29 --> 00:35:29 is
00:35:29 --> 00:35:30 to
00:35:30 --> 00:35:30 be
00:35:30 --> 00:35:31 a
00:35:31 --> 00:35:32 great
00:35:32 --> 00:35:32 spouse
00:35:32 --> 00:35:35 that
00:35:35 --> 00:35:35 is
00:35:35 --> 00:35:35 the
00:35:35 --> 00:35:35 main
00:35:35 --> 00:35:36 thing
00:35:36 --> 00:35:36 that
00:35:36 --> 00:35:37 our
00:35:37 --> 00:35:37 children
00:35:37 --> 00:35:37 need
00:35:37 --> 00:35:37 from
00:35:37 --> 00:35:38 us
00:35:38 --> 00:35:41 so
00:35:41 --> 00:35:41 the
00:35:41 --> 00:35:41 crucial
00:35:41 --> 00:35:42 principle
00:35:42 --> 00:35:42 here
00:35:42 --> 00:35:42 is
00:35:42 --> 00:35:43 that
00:35:43 --> 00:35:43 your
00:35:43 --> 00:35:43 spouse
00:35:43 --> 00:35:44 should
00:35:44 --> 00:35:44 be
00:35:44 --> 00:35:46 or
00:35:46 --> 00:35:46 is
00:35:46 --> 00:35:46 at
00:35:46 --> 00:35:46 least
00:35:46 --> 00:35:47 capable
00:35:47 --> 00:35:48 of
00:35:48 --> 00:35:48 becoming
00:35:48 --> 00:35:49 your
00:35:49 --> 00:35:49 best
00:35:49 --> 00:35:50 friend
00:35:50 --> 00:35:51 where
00:35:51 --> 00:35:51 they
00:35:51 --> 00:35:51 know
00:35:51 --> 00:35:52 your
00:35:52 --> 00:35:52 heart
00:35:52 --> 00:35:52 more
00:35:52 --> 00:35:52 than
00:35:52 --> 00:35:53 anyone
00:35:53 --> 00:35:53 else
00:35:53 --> 00:35:54 anyone
00:35:54 --> 00:35:55 else
00:35:55 --> 00:35:56 it's
00:35:56 --> 00:35:56 a
00:35:56 --> 00:35:57 relationship
00:35:57 --> 00:35:57 of
00:35:57 --> 00:35:58 dependability
00:35:58 --> 00:35:59 transparency
00:35:59 --> 00:36:00 sympathy
00:36:00 --> 00:36:01 with a
00:36:01 --> 00:36:01 common
00:36:01 --> 00:36:01 vision
00:36:01 --> 00:36:03 and
00:36:03 --> 00:36:04 together
00:36:04 --> 00:36:04 it
00:36:04 --> 00:36:05 creates
00:36:05 --> 00:36:05 a
00:36:05 --> 00:36:05 deep
00:36:05 --> 00:36:06 deep
00:36:06 --> 00:36:07 oneness
00:36:07 --> 00:36:07 over
00:36:07 --> 00:36:08 time
00:36:08 --> 00:36:09 in
00:36:09 --> 00:36:10 other
00:36:10 --> 00:36:10 words
00:36:10 --> 00:36:10 to
00:36:10 --> 00:36:11 summarize
00:36:11 --> 00:36:11 it
00:36:11 --> 00:36:11 if
00:36:11 --> 00:36:11 you
00:36:11 --> 00:36:12 like
00:36:12 --> 00:36:12 the
00:36:12 --> 00:36:12 common
00:36:12 --> 00:36:13 vision
00:36:13 --> 00:36:14 for
00:36:14 --> 00:36:14 your
00:36:14 --> 00:36:14 marriage
00:36:14 --> 00:36:15 is
00:36:15 --> 00:36:15 that
00:36:15 --> 00:36:16 you're
00:36:16 --> 00:36:17 playing
00:36:17 --> 00:36:17 dress
00:36:17 --> 00:36:18 ups
00:36:18 --> 00:36:19 I
00:36:19 --> 00:36:19 need
00:36:19 --> 00:36:19 to
00:36:19 --> 00:36:20 explain
00:36:20 --> 00:36:20 that
00:36:20 --> 00:36:21 it's
00:36:21 --> 00:36:21 up
00:36:21 --> 00:36:21 there
00:36:21 --> 00:36:22 my
00:36:22 --> 00:36:22 last
00:36:22 --> 00:36:23 point
00:36:23 --> 00:36:23 preparing
00:36:23 --> 00:36:23 for
00:36:23 --> 00:36:23 the
00:36:23 --> 00:36:24 ultimate
00:36:24 --> 00:36:24 friend
00:36:24 --> 00:36:25 in
00:36:25 --> 00:36:25 Ephesians
00:36:25 --> 00:36:26 5
00:36:26 --> 00:36:27 25
00:36:27 --> 00:36:27 to
00:36:27 --> 00:36:28 27
00:36:28 --> 00:36:29 this
00:36:29 --> 00:36:29 is
00:36:29 --> 00:36:29 the
00:36:29 --> 00:36:31 goal
00:36:31 --> 00:36:31 if
00:36:31 --> 00:36:31 you
00:36:31 --> 00:36:32 like
00:36:32 --> 00:36:32 the
00:36:32 --> 00:36:33 common
00:36:33 --> 00:36:33 vision
00:36:33 --> 00:36:33 for
00:36:33 --> 00:36:34 marriage
00:36:34 --> 00:36:35 is
00:36:35 --> 00:36:36 getting
00:36:36 --> 00:36:36 each
00:36:36 --> 00:36:37 other
00:36:37 --> 00:36:38 to
00:36:38 --> 00:36:38 their
00:36:38 --> 00:36:39 ultimate
00:36:39 --> 00:36:39 friend
00:36:39 --> 00:36:41 that's
00:36:41 --> 00:36:41 the
00:36:41 --> 00:36:42 vision
00:36:42 --> 00:36:42 that's
00:36:42 --> 00:36:42 the
00:36:42 --> 00:36:43 goal
00:36:43 --> 00:36:44 that
00:36:44 --> 00:36:45 is
00:36:45 --> 00:36:45 to
00:36:45 --> 00:36:45 get
00:36:45 --> 00:36:46 your
00:36:46 --> 00:36:47 spouse
00:36:47 --> 00:36:49 prepared
00:36:49 --> 00:36:49 and
00:36:49 --> 00:36:50 ready
00:36:50 --> 00:36:50 for
00:36:50 --> 00:36:51 her
00:36:51 --> 00:36:51 wedding
00:36:51 --> 00:36:51 day
00:36:51 --> 00:36:55 the
00:36:55 --> 00:36:55 ultimate
00:36:55 --> 00:36:56 wedding
00:36:56 --> 00:36:56 day
00:36:56 --> 00:36:57 her
00:36:57 --> 00:36:58 true
00:36:58 --> 00:36:59 lover
00:36:59 --> 00:36:59 friend
00:36:59 --> 00:37:00 their
00:37:00 --> 00:37:01 true
00:37:01 --> 00:37:01 love
00:37:01 --> 00:37:01 of
00:37:01 --> 00:37:01 friend
00:37:01 --> 00:37:03 putting
00:37:03 --> 00:37:04 Christian
00:37:04 --> 00:37:05 friendship
00:37:05 --> 00:37:06 at the
00:37:06 --> 00:37:06 heart
00:37:06 --> 00:37:07 of
00:37:07 --> 00:37:07 marriage
00:37:07 --> 00:37:07 what it
00:37:07 --> 00:37:08 does
00:37:08 --> 00:37:08 is it
00:37:08 --> 00:37:08 lifts
00:37:08 --> 00:37:09 it
00:37:09 --> 00:37:10 to a
00:37:10 --> 00:37:10 level
00:37:10 --> 00:37:10 that
00:37:10 --> 00:37:11 no
00:37:11 --> 00:37:11 other
00:37:11 --> 00:37:11 vision
00:37:11 --> 00:37:12 of
00:37:12 --> 00:37:12 marriage
00:37:12 --> 00:37:12 even
00:37:12 --> 00:37:13 comes
00:37:13 --> 00:37:13 close
00:37:13 --> 00:37:13 to
00:37:13 --> 00:37:14 you
00:37:14 --> 00:37:14 see
00:37:14 --> 00:37:14 the
00:37:14 --> 00:37:15 Bible's
00:37:15 --> 00:37:15 vision
00:37:15 --> 00:37:15 of
00:37:15 --> 00:37:15 marriage
00:37:15 --> 00:37:16 is
00:37:16 --> 00:37:16 to
00:37:16 --> 00:37:16 look
00:37:16 --> 00:37:17 at
00:37:17 --> 00:37:17 your
00:37:17 --> 00:37:17 spouse
00:37:17 --> 00:37:18 and
00:37:18 --> 00:37:19 to
00:37:19 --> 00:37:19 get
00:37:19 --> 00:37:19 a
00:37:19 --> 00:37:19 glimpse
00:37:19 --> 00:37:20 !
00:37:20 --> 00:37:20 of
00:37:20 --> 00:37:20 the
00:37:20 --> 00:37:21 person
00:37:21 --> 00:37:21 that
00:37:21 --> 00:37:22 God
00:37:22 --> 00:37:22 is
00:37:22 --> 00:37:22 creating
00:37:22 --> 00:37:24 and
00:37:24 --> 00:37:24 you
00:37:24 --> 00:37:24 fall
00:37:24 --> 00:37:25 in
00:37:25 --> 00:37:25 love
00:37:25 --> 00:37:26 with
00:37:26 --> 00:37:26 that
00:37:26 --> 00:37:28 that's
00:37:28 --> 00:37:29 Christian
00:37:29 --> 00:37:29 marriage
00:37:29 --> 00:37:31 when
00:37:31 --> 00:37:32 Michelangelo
00:37:32 --> 00:37:32 was asked
00:37:32 --> 00:37:33 how he
00:37:33 --> 00:37:33 carved
00:37:33 --> 00:37:33 his
00:37:33 --> 00:37:34 magnificent
00:37:34 --> 00:37:35 David
00:37:35 --> 00:37:35 statue
00:37:35 --> 00:37:36 out of
00:37:36 --> 00:37:36 a lump
00:37:36 --> 00:37:36 of
00:37:36 --> 00:37:40 marble
00:37:40 --> 00:37:41 he's
00:37:41 --> 00:37:41 reputed
00:37:41 --> 00:37:42 to have
00:37:42 --> 00:37:42 said
00:37:42 --> 00:37:43 I
00:37:43 --> 00:37:43 looked
00:37:43 --> 00:37:44 inside
00:37:44 --> 00:37:44 the
00:37:44 --> 00:37:45 marble
00:37:45 --> 00:37:46 and I
00:37:46 --> 00:37:46 just
00:37:46 --> 00:37:46 took
00:37:46 --> 00:37:47 away
00:37:47 --> 00:37:47 the
00:37:47 --> 00:37:47 bits
00:37:47 --> 00:37:47 that
00:37:47 --> 00:37:48 were
00:37:48 --> 00:37:48 not
00:37:48 --> 00:37:48 David
00:37:48 --> 00:37:51 that's
00:37:51 --> 00:37:52 the
00:37:52 --> 00:37:52 vision
00:37:52 --> 00:37:52 of
00:37:52 --> 00:37:52 marriage
00:37:52 --> 00:37:53 right
00:37:53 --> 00:37:54 there
00:37:54 --> 00:37:57 Jesus
00:37:57 --> 00:37:58 died
00:37:58 --> 00:37:58 on the
00:37:58 --> 00:37:58 cross
00:37:58 --> 00:37:59 for
00:37:59 --> 00:37:59 our
00:37:59 --> 00:37:59 sin
00:37:59 --> 00:38:02 to
00:38:02 --> 00:38:03 remake
00:38:03 --> 00:38:03 us
00:38:03 --> 00:38:03 into
00:38:03 --> 00:38:04 his
00:38:04 --> 00:38:04 image
00:38:04 --> 00:38:06 his
00:38:06 --> 00:38:07 goal
00:38:07 --> 00:38:07 is to
00:38:07 --> 00:38:08 perfect
00:38:08 --> 00:38:08 his
00:38:08 --> 00:38:09 church
00:38:09 --> 00:38:09 according
00:38:09 --> 00:38:10 to
00:38:10 --> 00:38:10 Ephesians
00:38:10 --> 00:38:11 5
00:38:11 --> 00:38:12 his
00:38:12 --> 00:38:13 bride
00:38:13 --> 00:38:13 !
00:38:14 --> 00:38:14 He
00:38:14 --> 00:38:15 saved
00:38:15 --> 00:38:15 us
00:38:15 --> 00:38:16 he
00:38:16 --> 00:38:16 made
00:38:16 --> 00:38:16 a
00:38:16 --> 00:38:17 covenant
00:38:17 --> 00:38:17 commitment
00:38:17 --> 00:38:18 to
00:38:18 --> 00:38:18 us
00:38:18 --> 00:38:22 to
00:38:22 --> 00:38:23 perfect
00:38:23 --> 00:38:24 us
00:38:24 --> 00:38:26 that's
00:38:26 --> 00:38:27 his
00:38:27 --> 00:38:27 purpose
00:38:27 --> 00:38:27 and
00:38:27 --> 00:38:28 goal
00:38:28 --> 00:38:29 for
00:38:29 --> 00:38:29 his
00:38:29 --> 00:38:30 church
00:38:30 --> 00:38:30 and
00:38:30 --> 00:38:30 it's
00:38:30 --> 00:38:30 his
00:38:30 --> 00:38:31 purpose
00:38:31 --> 00:38:31 and
00:38:31 --> 00:38:31 goal
00:38:31 --> 00:38:31 for
00:38:31 --> 00:38:32 marriage
00:38:32 --> 00:38:33 marriage
00:38:33 --> 00:38:34 is a
00:38:34 --> 00:38:34 permanent
00:38:34 --> 00:38:35 and
00:38:35 --> 00:38:35 exclusive
00:38:35 --> 00:38:36 legal
00:38:36 --> 00:38:36 commitment
00:38:36 --> 00:38:36 between
00:38:36 --> 00:38:37 a man
00:38:37 --> 00:38:37 and a
00:38:37 --> 00:38:37 woman
00:38:37 --> 00:38:38 to
00:38:38 --> 00:38:38 share
00:38:38 --> 00:38:38 their
00:38:38 --> 00:38:38 entire
00:38:38 --> 00:38:39 life
00:38:39 --> 00:38:39 with
00:38:39 --> 00:38:39 each
00:38:39 --> 00:38:40 other
00:38:40 --> 00:38:40 and
00:38:40 --> 00:38:40 to
00:38:40 --> 00:38:41 prepare
00:38:41 --> 00:38:41 each
00:38:41 --> 00:38:41 other
00:38:41 --> 00:38:41 for
00:38:41 --> 00:38:42 the
00:38:42 --> 00:38:42 day
00:38:42 --> 00:38:42 when
00:38:42 --> 00:38:42 they
00:38:42 --> 00:38:42 will
00:38:42 --> 00:38:43 stand
00:38:43 --> 00:38:43 before
00:38:43 --> 00:38:43 their
00:38:43 --> 00:38:44 ultimate
00:38:44 --> 00:38:44 friend
00:38:44 --> 00:38:44 and
00:38:44 --> 00:38:44 lover
00:38:44 --> 00:38:45 Jesus
00:38:45 --> 00:38:47 that's
00:38:47 --> 00:38:47 the
00:38:47 --> 00:38:47 purpose
00:38:47 --> 00:38:47 of
00:38:47 --> 00:38:48 marriage
00:38:48 --> 00:38:50 marriage
00:38:50 --> 00:38:50 is
00:38:50 --> 00:38:51 where I
00:38:51 --> 00:38:51 say
00:38:51 --> 00:38:51 I
00:38:51 --> 00:38:52 want
00:38:52 --> 00:38:52
00:38:54 --> 00:38:54 I
00:38:54 --> 00:38:54 want
00:38:54 --> 00:38:54 to
00:38:54 --> 00:38:55 partner
00:38:55 --> 00:38:55 with
00:38:55 --> 00:38:56 you
00:38:56 --> 00:38:57 and
00:38:57 --> 00:38:58 God
00:38:58 --> 00:38:59 in
00:38:59 --> 00:39:00 the
00:39:00 --> 00:39:00 journey
00:39:00 --> 00:39:01 that
00:39:01 --> 00:39:01 he
00:39:01 --> 00:39:02 is
00:39:02 --> 00:39:02 taking
00:39:02 --> 00:39:03 you
00:39:03 --> 00:39:03 to
00:39:03 --> 00:39:03 his
00:39:03 --> 00:39:04 throne
00:39:04 --> 00:39:10 each
00:39:10 --> 00:39:10 spouse
00:39:10 --> 00:39:11 should
00:39:11 --> 00:39:11 see
00:39:11 --> 00:39:12 the
00:39:12 --> 00:39:12 great
00:39:12 --> 00:39:12 thing
00:39:12 --> 00:39:12 that
00:39:12 --> 00:39:13 Jesus
00:39:13 --> 00:39:13 is
00:39:13 --> 00:39:13 doing
00:39:13 --> 00:39:13 in
00:39:13 --> 00:39:13 the
00:39:13 --> 00:39:13 life
00:39:13 --> 00:39:14 of
00:39:14 --> 00:39:14 their
00:39:14 --> 00:39:14 partner
00:39:14 --> 00:39:17 by
00:39:17 --> 00:39:17 God
00:39:17 --> 00:39:18 through
00:39:18 --> 00:39:18 his
00:39:18 --> 00:39:19 word
00:39:19 --> 00:39:19 and
00:39:19 --> 00:39:19 his
00:39:19 --> 00:39:20 spirit
00:39:20 --> 00:39:22 and
00:39:22 --> 00:39:22 each
00:39:22 --> 00:39:22 spouse
00:39:22 --> 00:39:22 should
00:39:22 --> 00:39:23 give
00:39:23 --> 00:39:24 themselves
00:39:24 --> 00:39:24 to
00:39:24 --> 00:39:24 be
00:39:24 --> 00:39:24 a
00:39:24 --> 00:39:25 vehicle
00:39:25 --> 00:39:25 for
00:39:25 --> 00:39:26 the
00:39:26 --> 00:39:26 work
00:39:26 --> 00:39:27 of
00:39:27 --> 00:39:27 gospel
00:39:27 --> 00:39:28 transformation
00:39:28 --> 00:39:29 in
00:39:29 --> 00:39:29 the
00:39:29 --> 00:39:29 life
00:39:29 --> 00:39:30 of
00:39:30 --> 00:39:30 their
00:39:30 --> 00:39:31 partner
00:39:31 --> 00:39:32 they
00:39:32 --> 00:39:32 are
00:39:32 --> 00:39:32 to
00:39:32 --> 00:39:33 envisage
00:39:33 --> 00:39:33 the
00:39:33 --> 00:39:33 day
00:39:33 --> 00:39:34 when
00:39:34 --> 00:39:35 they
00:39:35 --> 00:39:35 will
00:39:35 --> 00:39:35 stand
00:39:35 --> 00:39:37 before
00:39:37 --> 00:39:38 God
00:39:38 --> 00:39:40 and
00:39:40 --> 00:39:43 seeing
00:39:43 --> 00:39:43 each
00:39:43 --> 00:39:43 other
00:39:43 --> 00:39:44 spotless
00:39:44 --> 00:39:47 beautiful
00:39:47 --> 00:39:49 glorious
00:39:49 --> 00:39:50 in
00:39:50 --> 00:39:50 his
00:39:50 --> 00:39:51 presence
00:39:51 --> 00:39:54 when
00:39:54 --> 00:39:54 Christians
00:39:54 --> 00:39:55 understand
00:39:55 --> 00:39:57 the
00:39:57 --> 00:39:57 meaning
00:39:57 --> 00:39:57 of
00:39:57 --> 00:39:58 marriage
00:39:58 --> 00:39:58 and
00:39:58 --> 00:39:58 the
00:39:58 --> 00:39:58 purpose
00:39:58 --> 00:39:58 of
00:39:58 --> 00:39:58 marriage
00:39:58 --> 00:39:59 in
00:39:59 --> 00:39:59 this
00:39:59 --> 00:39:59 way
00:39:59 --> 00:40:00 it
00:40:00 --> 00:40:01 sheds
00:40:01 --> 00:40:01 an
00:40:01 --> 00:40:01 entire
00:40:01 --> 00:40:02 different
00:40:02 --> 00:40:02 light
00:40:02 --> 00:40:02 on
00:40:02 --> 00:40:02 their
00:40:02 --> 00:40:03 wedding
00:40:03 --> 00:40:03 day
00:40:03 --> 00:40:06 entire
00:40:06 --> 00:40:06 !
00:40:06 --> 00:40:06 different
00:40:06 --> 00:40:06 light
00:40:06 --> 00:40:07 when
00:40:07 --> 00:40:08 two
00:40:08 --> 00:40:08 Christians
00:40:08 --> 00:40:09 stand
00:40:09 --> 00:40:09 before
00:40:09 --> 00:40:11 me
00:40:11 --> 00:40:11 the
00:40:11 --> 00:40:11 minister
00:40:11 --> 00:40:11 for
00:40:11 --> 00:40:12 instance
00:40:12 --> 00:40:13 on
00:40:13 --> 00:40:13 their
00:40:13 --> 00:40:13 wedding
00:40:13 --> 00:40:13 day
00:40:13 --> 00:40:14 all
00:40:14 --> 00:40:14 decked
00:40:14 --> 00:40:15 out
00:40:15 --> 00:40:15 in
00:40:15 --> 00:40:15 their
00:40:15 --> 00:40:16 wedding
00:40:16 --> 00:40:17 outfits
00:40:17 --> 00:40:17 they're
00:40:17 --> 00:40:18 kind
00:40:18 --> 00:40:18 of
00:40:18 --> 00:40:18 what
00:40:18 --> 00:40:19 they're
00:40:19 --> 00:40:19 doing
00:40:19 --> 00:40:20 in
00:40:20 --> 00:40:20 this
00:40:20 --> 00:40:20 moment
00:40:20 --> 00:40:20 they're
00:40:20 --> 00:40:20 kind
00:40:20 --> 00:40:21 of
00:40:21 --> 00:40:21 playing
00:40:21 --> 00:40:21 dress
00:40:21 --> 00:40:22 ups
00:40:22 --> 00:40:23 they're
00:40:23 --> 00:40:23 just
00:40:23 --> 00:40:23 like
00:40:23 --> 00:40:24 kids
00:40:24 --> 00:40:24 at
00:40:24 --> 00:40:24 that
00:40:24 --> 00:40:24 point
00:40:24 --> 00:40:25 when
00:40:25 --> 00:40:25 kids
00:40:25 --> 00:40:25 play
00:40:25 --> 00:40:26 dress
00:40:26 --> 00:40:26 ups
00:40:26 --> 00:40:27 they're
00:40:27 --> 00:40:28 mirroring
00:40:28 --> 00:40:28 a
00:40:28 --> 00:40:29 greater
00:40:29 --> 00:40:29 reality
00:40:29 --> 00:40:30 a much
00:40:30 --> 00:40:30 bigger
00:40:30 --> 00:40:31 reality
00:40:31 --> 00:40:31 and
00:40:31 --> 00:40:32 that's
00:40:32 --> 00:40:32 what
00:40:32 --> 00:40:32 happens
00:40:32 --> 00:40:34 when
00:40:34 --> 00:40:34 two
00:40:34 --> 00:40:35 Christians
00:40:35 --> 00:40:36 do
00:40:36 --> 00:40:37 the
00:40:37 --> 00:40:37 same
00:40:37 --> 00:40:37 thing
00:40:37 --> 00:40:37 on
00:40:37 --> 00:40:38 their
00:40:38 --> 00:40:38 wedding
00:40:38 --> 00:40:38 day
00:40:38 --> 00:40:41 they're
00:40:41 --> 00:40:41 mirroring
00:40:41 --> 00:40:42 a
00:40:42 --> 00:40:42 far
00:40:42 --> 00:40:43 more
00:40:43 --> 00:40:44 important
00:40:44 --> 00:40:45 reality
00:40:45 --> 00:40:48 they're
00:40:48 --> 00:40:48 saying
00:40:48 --> 00:40:48 this
00:40:48 --> 00:40:49 moment
00:40:49 --> 00:40:50 represents
00:40:50 --> 00:40:51 the
00:40:51 --> 00:40:52 ultimate
00:40:52 --> 00:40:52 moment
00:40:52 --> 00:40:57 as
00:40:57 --> 00:40:57 they're
00:40:57 --> 00:40:57 all
00:40:57 --> 00:40:58 dressed
00:40:58 --> 00:40:58 up
00:40:58 --> 00:40:58 and put
00:40:58 --> 00:40:58 on
00:40:58 --> 00:40:58 their
00:40:58 --> 00:40:59 best
00:40:59 --> 00:40:59 versions
00:40:59 --> 00:40:59 of
00:40:59 --> 00:41:00 themselves
00:41:00 --> 00:41:00 they're
00:41:00 --> 00:41:00 looking
00:41:00 --> 00:41:01 forward
00:41:01 --> 00:41:02 publicly
00:41:02 --> 00:41:04 where
00:41:04 --> 00:41:06 they are
00:41:06 --> 00:41:08 displaying
00:41:08 --> 00:41:08 the
00:41:08 --> 00:41:09 ultimate
00:41:09 --> 00:41:09 wedding
00:41:09 --> 00:41:10 day
00:41:10 --> 00:41:11 where
00:41:11 --> 00:41:11 each
00:41:11 --> 00:41:11 of
00:41:11 --> 00:41:11 them
00:41:11 --> 00:41:12 will
00:41:12 --> 00:41:12 stand
00:41:12 --> 00:41:12 not
00:41:12 --> 00:41:13 before
00:41:13 --> 00:41:14 me
00:41:14 --> 00:41:14 a
00:41:14 --> 00:41:15 flawed
00:41:15 --> 00:41:15 human
00:41:15 --> 00:41:16 being
00:41:16 --> 00:41:16 but
00:41:16 --> 00:41:16 they
00:41:16 --> 00:41:16 will
00:41:16 --> 00:41:17 stand
00:41:17 --> 00:41:17 before
00:41:17 --> 00:41:18 the
00:41:18 --> 00:41:18 Lord
00:41:18 --> 00:41:18 Jesus
00:41:18 --> 00:41:19 Christ
00:41:19 --> 00:41:25 and
00:41:25 --> 00:41:25 they
00:41:25 --> 00:41:25 will
00:41:25 --> 00:41:25 turn
00:41:25 --> 00:41:26 to
00:41:26 --> 00:41:26 each
00:41:26 --> 00:41:26 other
00:41:26 --> 00:41:29 and
00:41:29 --> 00:41:29 what
00:41:29 --> 00:41:29 they
00:41:29 --> 00:41:29 will
00:41:29 --> 00:41:30 see
00:41:30 --> 00:41:31 is
00:41:31 --> 00:41:32 an
00:41:32 --> 00:41:33 indescribable
00:41:33 --> 00:41:33 beauty
00:41:33 --> 00:41:34 a
00:41:34 --> 00:41:35 flawlessness
00:41:35 --> 00:41:36 a
00:41:36 --> 00:41:37 radiance
00:41:37 --> 00:41:37 and a
00:41:37 --> 00:41:38 glory
00:41:38 --> 00:41:39 that
00:41:39 --> 00:41:39 no
00:41:39 --> 00:41:40 wedding
00:41:40 --> 00:41:40 ceremony
00:41:40 --> 00:41:41 today
00:41:41 --> 00:41:41 can
00:41:41 --> 00:41:41 ever
00:41:41 --> 00:41:42 reproduce
00:41:42 --> 00:41:45 that
00:41:45 --> 00:41:46 is
00:41:46 --> 00:41:46 a
00:41:46 --> 00:41:46 common
00:41:46 --> 00:41:47 vision
00:41:47 --> 00:41:50 for
00:41:50 --> 00:41:50 your
00:41:50 --> 00:41:51 spouse
00:41:51 --> 00:41:53 your
00:41:53 --> 00:41:54 vision
00:41:54 --> 00:41:54 for
00:41:54 --> 00:41:54 your
00:41:54 --> 00:41:55 spouse
00:41:55 --> 00:41:56 is
00:41:56 --> 00:41:57 to
00:41:57 --> 00:41:57 hear
00:41:57 --> 00:41:59 God
00:41:59 --> 00:41:59 say
00:41:59 --> 00:42:02 well
00:42:02 --> 00:42:03 done
00:42:03 --> 00:42:05 good
00:42:05 --> 00:42:05 and
00:42:05 --> 00:42:05 faithful
00:42:05 --> 00:42:06 servants
00:42:06 --> 00:42:07 well
00:42:07 --> 00:42:08 done
00:42:08 --> 00:42:10 over
00:42:10 --> 00:42:11 the
00:42:11 --> 00:42:11 years
00:42:11 --> 00:42:13 you
00:42:13 --> 00:42:14 have
00:42:14 --> 00:42:15 lifted
00:42:15 --> 00:42:16 each
00:42:16 --> 00:42:16 other
00:42:16 --> 00:42:17 up
00:42:17 --> 00:42:17 to
00:42:17 --> 00:42:17 me
00:42:17 --> 00:42:18 you
00:42:18 --> 00:42:18 have
00:42:18 --> 00:42:19 sacrificed
00:42:19 --> 00:42:20 for
00:42:20 --> 00:42:20 each
00:42:20 --> 00:42:20 other
00:42:20 --> 00:42:21 you
00:42:21 --> 00:42:21 have
00:42:21 --> 00:42:21 held
00:42:21 --> 00:42:21 one
00:42:21 --> 00:42:22 another
00:42:22 --> 00:42:22 up
00:42:22 --> 00:42:22 in
00:42:22 --> 00:42:23 prayer
00:42:23 --> 00:42:23 and
00:42:23 --> 00:42:24 thanksgiving
00:42:24 --> 00:42:24 you
00:42:24 --> 00:42:25 have
00:42:25 --> 00:42:25 confronted
00:42:25 --> 00:42:26 each
00:42:26 --> 00:42:26 other
00:42:26 --> 00:42:26 with
00:42:26 --> 00:42:27 your
00:42:27 --> 00:42:28 flaws
00:42:28 --> 00:42:28 you
00:42:28 --> 00:42:28 have
00:42:28 --> 00:42:29 confronted
00:42:29 --> 00:42:29 your
00:42:29 --> 00:42:30 sins
00:42:30 --> 00:42:30 you
00:42:30 --> 00:42:30 have
00:42:30 --> 00:42:31 rebuked
00:42:31 --> 00:42:31 each
00:42:31 --> 00:42:31 other
00:42:31 --> 00:42:32 you
00:42:32 --> 00:42:32 have
00:42:32 --> 00:42:32 corrected
00:42:32 --> 00:42:33 each
00:42:33 --> 00:42:33 other
00:42:33 --> 00:42:33 you
00:42:33 --> 00:42:33 have
00:42:33 --> 00:42:34 trained
00:42:34 --> 00:42:34 each
00:42:34 --> 00:42:34 other
00:42:34 --> 00:42:34 in
00:42:34 --> 00:42:35 righteousness
00:42:35 --> 00:42:36 you
00:42:36 --> 00:42:36 have
00:42:36 --> 00:42:37 repented
00:42:37 --> 00:42:37 you
00:42:37 --> 00:42:37 have
00:42:37 --> 00:42:38 forgiven
00:42:38 --> 00:42:38 each
00:42:38 --> 00:42:38 other
00:42:38 --> 00:42:39 you
00:42:39 --> 00:42:39 have
00:42:39 --> 00:42:39 hugged
00:42:39 --> 00:42:40 you
00:42:40 --> 00:42:40 have
00:42:40 --> 00:42:40 loved
00:42:40 --> 00:42:40 each
00:42:40 --> 00:42:41 other
00:42:41 --> 00:42:41 you
00:42:41 --> 00:42:41 have
00:42:41 --> 00:42:42 continually
00:42:42 --> 00:42:43 pushed
00:42:43 --> 00:42:43 each
00:42:43 --> 00:42:44 other
00:42:44 --> 00:42:44 towards
00:42:44 --> 00:42:45 me
00:42:45 --> 00:42:47 now
00:42:47 --> 00:42:47 look at
00:42:47 --> 00:42:48 you
00:42:48 --> 00:42:51 you're
00:42:51 --> 00:42:51 beautiful
00:42:51 --> 00:42:54 and as
00:42:54 --> 00:42:54 he looks
00:42:54 --> 00:42:55 at one
00:42:55 --> 00:42:55 spouse
00:42:55 --> 00:42:56 you look
00:42:56 --> 00:42:56 for the
00:42:56 --> 00:42:56 other
00:42:56 --> 00:42:56 in the
00:42:56 --> 00:42:57 crowd
00:42:57 --> 00:42:58 might have
00:42:58 --> 00:42:58 got there
00:42:58 --> 00:42:58 10
00:42:58 --> 00:42:59 years
00:42:59 --> 00:42:59 earlier
00:42:59 --> 00:43:00 where
00:43:00 --> 00:43:00 are
00:43:00 --> 00:43:01 you
00:43:01 --> 00:43:01 well
00:43:01 --> 00:43:02 done
00:43:02 --> 00:43:04 well
00:43:04 --> 00:43:04 done
00:43:04 --> 00:43:09 and
00:43:09 --> 00:43:09 friends
00:43:09 --> 00:43:09 when
00:43:09 --> 00:43:10 that's
00:43:10 --> 00:43:10 our
00:43:10 --> 00:43:10 vision
00:43:10 --> 00:43:12 romance
00:43:12 --> 00:43:14 sex
00:43:14 --> 00:43:16 travel
00:43:16 --> 00:43:17 laughter
00:43:17 --> 00:43:17 the common
00:43:17 --> 00:43:18 interest
00:43:18 --> 00:43:19 just the
00:43:19 --> 00:43:20 plain
00:43:20 --> 00:43:20 fun
00:43:20 --> 00:43:25 they're
00:43:25 --> 00:43:25 all
00:43:25 --> 00:43:26 byproducts
00:43:26 --> 00:43:27 they're
00:43:27 --> 00:43:28 all byproducts
00:43:28 --> 00:43:30 of this
00:43:30 --> 00:43:31 process of
00:43:31 --> 00:43:32 sanctification
00:43:32 --> 00:43:33 and refinement
00:43:33 --> 00:43:34 and glorification
00:43:34 --> 00:43:35 what keeps
00:43:35 --> 00:43:36 the marriage
00:43:36 --> 00:43:37 going
00:43:37 --> 00:43:38 what takes
00:43:38 --> 00:43:38 it to the
00:43:38 --> 00:43:39 deepest
00:43:39 --> 00:43:40 deepest
00:43:40 --> 00:43:40 levels
00:43:40 --> 00:43:41 of love
00:43:41 --> 00:43:42 and romance
00:43:42 --> 00:43:42 and joy
00:43:42 --> 00:43:43 is your
00:43:43 --> 00:43:44 commitment
00:43:44 --> 00:43:44 to your
00:43:44 --> 00:43:45 spouse's
00:43:45 --> 00:43:45 holiness
00:43:45 --> 00:43:49 you're
00:43:49 --> 00:43:49 committed
00:43:49 --> 00:43:50 to presenting
00:43:50 --> 00:43:51 your spouse
00:43:51 --> 00:43:51 to her
00:43:51 --> 00:43:52 ultimate
00:43:52 --> 00:43:53 spouse
00:43:53 --> 00:43:53 her ultimate
00:43:53 --> 00:43:54 lover
00:43:54 --> 00:43:54 her ultimate
00:43:54 --> 00:43:55 friend
00:43:55 --> 00:43:56 Jesus
00:43:56 --> 00:43:57 for those
00:43:57 --> 00:43:58 of you
00:43:58 --> 00:43:58 who are
00:43:58 --> 00:43:58 feeling
00:43:58 --> 00:43:59 overwhelmingly
00:43:59 --> 00:44:00 guilty
00:44:00 --> 00:44:01 right now
00:44:01 --> 00:44:03 let me
00:44:03 --> 00:44:04 just say
00:44:04 --> 00:44:06 no amount
00:44:06 --> 00:44:06 of failure
00:44:06 --> 00:44:07 on behalf
00:44:07 --> 00:44:08 of any
00:44:08 --> 00:44:09 spouse
00:44:09 --> 00:44:11 will in
00:44:11 --> 00:44:12 any way
00:44:12 --> 00:44:14 hinder
00:44:14 --> 00:44:16 your
00:44:16 --> 00:44:17 spouse's
00:44:17 --> 00:44:18 glorious
00:44:18 --> 00:44:18 moment
00:44:18 --> 00:44:20 in front
00:44:20 --> 00:44:20 of her
00:44:20 --> 00:44:21 true friend
00:44:21 --> 00:44:21 and lover
00:44:21 --> 00:44:22 Jesus
00:44:22 --> 00:44:26 but it's
00:44:26 --> 00:44:26 for your
00:44:26 --> 00:44:26 joy
00:44:26 --> 00:44:27 to be
00:44:27 --> 00:44:27 part
00:44:27 --> 00:44:28 of it
00:44:28 --> 00:44:31 Ephesians
00:44:31 --> 00:44:32 5 tells
00:44:32 --> 00:44:32 us
00:44:32 --> 00:44:33 that this
00:44:33 --> 00:44:34 is the
00:44:34 --> 00:44:34 mission
00:44:34 --> 00:44:35 of Jesus
00:44:35 --> 00:44:35 for his
00:44:35 --> 00:44:36 church
00:44:36 --> 00:44:39 and so
00:44:39 --> 00:44:39 if you're
00:44:39 --> 00:44:39 feeling
00:44:39 --> 00:44:40 guilty
00:44:40 --> 00:44:40 and how
00:44:40 --> 00:44:40 do you
00:44:40 --> 00:44:41 do it
00:44:41 --> 00:44:42 you look
00:44:42 --> 00:44:42 to Jesus
00:44:42 --> 00:44:43 look to
00:44:43 --> 00:44:44 Jesus
00:44:44 --> 00:44:44 on a
00:44:44 --> 00:44:44 cross
00:44:44 --> 00:44:45 when
00:44:45 --> 00:44:46 Jesus
00:44:46 --> 00:44:46 was on
00:44:46 --> 00:44:47 the cross
00:44:47 --> 00:44:48 he did
00:44:48 --> 00:44:48 not look
00:44:48 --> 00:44:49 down
00:44:49 --> 00:44:49 at his
00:44:49 --> 00:44:50 potential
00:44:50 --> 00:44:51 spouses
00:44:51 --> 00:44:52 and look
00:44:52 --> 00:44:53 at them
00:44:53 --> 00:44:54 and eliminate
00:44:54 --> 00:44:55 them based
00:44:55 --> 00:44:55 on their
00:44:55 --> 00:44:56 attractiveness
00:44:56 --> 00:44:57 or their
00:44:57 --> 00:44:57 suitability
00:44:57 --> 00:45:02 he did
00:45:02 --> 00:45:02 not look
00:45:02 --> 00:45:03 down on
00:45:03 --> 00:45:03 humanity
00:45:03 --> 00:45:04 with a
00:45:04 --> 00:45:05 heart full
00:45:05 --> 00:45:06 of admiration
00:45:06 --> 00:45:07 and affection
00:45:07 --> 00:45:09 he saw
00:45:09 --> 00:45:09 no
00:45:09 --> 00:45:10 compatibility
00:45:10 --> 00:45:11 he saw
00:45:11 --> 00:45:12 no chemistry
00:45:12 --> 00:45:13 but he
00:45:13 --> 00:45:14 gave
00:45:14 --> 00:45:15 himself
00:45:15 --> 00:45:16 he
00:45:16 --> 00:45:18 covenanted
00:45:18 --> 00:45:19 with us
00:45:19 --> 00:45:20 he put
00:45:20 --> 00:45:21 our needs
00:45:21 --> 00:45:22 ahead of his
00:45:22 --> 00:45:22 own
00:45:22 --> 00:45:23 he sacrificed
00:45:23 --> 00:45:23 faith
00:45:23 --> 00:45:24 he gave
00:45:24 --> 00:45:25 himself
00:45:25 --> 00:45:26 to bring
00:45:26 --> 00:45:26 us
00:45:26 --> 00:45:27 to himself
00:45:27 --> 00:45:30 to make
00:45:30 --> 00:45:30 us
00:45:30 --> 00:45:31 beautiful
00:45:31 --> 00:45:33 glorious
00:45:33 --> 00:45:35 love
00:45:35 --> 00:45:36 and the
00:45:36 --> 00:45:36 bible
00:45:36 --> 00:45:37 tells
00:45:37 --> 00:45:37 spouses
00:45:37 --> 00:45:38 not only
00:45:38 --> 00:45:38 to imitate
00:45:38 --> 00:45:39 the quality
00:45:39 --> 00:45:40 and the
00:45:40 --> 00:45:40 manner
00:45:40 --> 00:45:40 of his
00:45:40 --> 00:45:41 love
00:45:41 --> 00:45:41 but also
00:45:41 --> 00:45:42 the goal
00:45:42 --> 00:45:43 of it
00:45:43 --> 00:45:44 he died
00:45:44 --> 00:45:44 to make
00:45:44 --> 00:45:45 us
00:45:45 --> 00:45:45 holy
00:45:45 --> 00:45:46 and so
00:45:46 --> 00:45:46 spouses
00:45:46 --> 00:45:47 die to
00:45:47 --> 00:45:47 make
00:45:47 --> 00:45:48 your spouse
00:45:48 --> 00:45:48 holy
00:45:48 --> 00:45:51 and so
00:45:51 --> 00:45:52 paradoxically
00:45:52 --> 00:45:54 this means
00:45:54 --> 00:45:55 what Paul's
00:45:55 --> 00:45:56 urging spouses
00:45:56 --> 00:45:56 to do
00:45:56 --> 00:45:57 here
00:45:57 --> 00:45:59 is for
00:45:59 --> 00:46:00 each of
00:46:00 --> 00:46:00 them
00:46:00 --> 00:46:01 to love
00:46:01 --> 00:46:02 Jesus
00:46:02 --> 00:46:03 more
00:46:03 --> 00:46:04 than they
00:46:04 --> 00:46:04 love
00:46:04 --> 00:46:05 their spouse
00:46:05 --> 00:46:08 what this
00:46:08 --> 00:46:08 looks like
00:46:08 --> 00:46:09 in practice
00:46:09 --> 00:46:11 all the
00:46:11 --> 00:46:11 details
00:46:11 --> 00:46:13 all the
00:46:13 --> 00:46:13 hard bits
00:46:13 --> 00:46:16 Nick's going
00:46:16 --> 00:46:16 to tell you
00:46:16 --> 00:46:16 next week
00:46:16 --> 00:46:17 god
00:46:17 --> 00:46:17
00:46:17 --> 00:46:17
00:46:17 --> 00:46:17
00:46:17 --> 00:46:17
00:46:17 --> 00:46:17
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00:46:18 --> 00:46:18
00:46:18 --> 00:46:18 My marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker marker