The Act of Marriage
Series: A Profound Mystery
Speaker: Steve Jeffrey
Date: 28th June 2026
00:00:00 --> 00:00:08 Well, good morning, everyone. We're up to marriage number seven, marriage week number seven, that is.
00:00:09 --> 00:00:17 ! We've been spending several weeks unpacking these passages, these verses in Ephesians 5,
00:00:17 --> 00:00:26 ! and particularly unravelling the profound mystery of marriage, the mystery that is the gospel of Jesus Christ
00:00:26 --> 00:00:36 and marriage between a man and a woman explain each other. As I've said a number of times, marriage is the ultimate human relationship,
00:00:36 --> 00:00:43 but it is the penultimate relationship. It points to the eternal marriage of Christ and his church.
00:00:45 --> 00:00:53 And we've seen that marriage is a public, legal, binding covenant between a man and a woman to share all of their life together,
00:00:53 --> 00:01:02 in which their union, the differences in their union, in them as individuals made in the image of God,
00:01:02 --> 00:01:10 they are equal and they complement one another, shaping each other, preparing each other for the ultimate and eternal marriage with Christ.
00:01:11 --> 00:01:21 And so therefore, the practice of truth and love and grace are essential in terms of shaping that.
00:01:21 --> 00:01:30 And so we're up to number seven of unpacking these verses, and you really can't have a series about marriage
00:01:30 --> 00:01:38 without at least one message on sex, especially so because in the Bible, in the biblical ethic,
00:01:39 --> 00:01:47 the marriage between a man and a woman is the only place which sex is to be practised.
00:01:47 --> 00:01:50 And so that's what we're looking at today.
00:01:50 --> 00:01:55 And if you've got the St. Paul's app, there's four points today.
00:01:56 --> 00:02:01 Sex in the city, sex in the Bible, sex in marriage, and I was going to say sex in the future,
00:02:01 --> 00:02:04 but let's just call it the glorious sex instead.
00:02:05 --> 00:02:07 Okay, so let's jump into that.
00:02:08 --> 00:02:09 We'll begin.
00:02:09 --> 00:02:15 I want to look just very briefly at three broad attitudes to sex throughout history,
00:02:15 --> 00:02:19 and they are very broad throughout culture and history.
00:02:19 --> 00:02:26 The first one says that sex is really a natural appetite.
00:02:26 --> 00:02:29 It's just a bodily function.
00:02:29 --> 00:02:40 And this view suggests that sex, like eating, is a good and natural appetite that ought to be pursued.
00:02:40 --> 00:02:48 And so you even see glimpses of this in 1 Corinthians, where Paul pushes back against that view.
00:02:48 --> 00:02:55 The implication is that a person should always, therefore, be free to fulfil that appetite.
00:02:55 --> 00:02:58 Whenever they get the appetite, they should fulfil it.
00:02:58 --> 00:03:09 In fact, forbidding that natural appetite, the satisfaction of it, or even limiting it in any kind of way,
00:03:09 --> 00:03:12 is as unhealthy as trying to stop eating for years.
00:03:13 --> 00:03:17 And so in a culture that says, which we exist in our modern culture,
00:03:18 --> 00:03:25 that the pursuit of pleasure is the greatest good, that is, it's the philosophy of hedonism.
00:03:25 --> 00:03:28 You pursue pleasure in life.
00:03:28 --> 00:03:29 That's why we exist.
00:03:30 --> 00:03:32 My personal happiness and satisfaction is why I exist.
00:03:33 --> 00:03:39 And sex being the ultimate sense of personal satisfaction and pleasure,
00:03:39 --> 00:03:44 then therefore it should be pursued without any form of hindrance at all.
00:03:45 --> 00:03:48 Now, we often identify this with the modern time,
00:03:49 --> 00:03:55 but it's actually something that has deep historical roots way back in history.
00:03:55 --> 00:03:58 Even into Greek philosophy.
00:03:59 --> 00:04:02 The second view is one that's a bit more negative.
00:04:03 --> 00:04:09 Sex is seen as a lower physical nature,
00:04:09 --> 00:04:14 and it's distinct from a higher rational, more spiritual nature.
00:04:14 --> 00:04:18 This too goes all the way back into Greek philosophy,
00:04:18 --> 00:04:20 and you'll see this in 1 Corinthians as well.
00:04:20 --> 00:04:27 And so therefore, this view generally sees sex as degrading.
00:04:28 --> 00:04:32 It's a necessary evil to keep the human race going on,
00:04:32 --> 00:04:33 but that's really it.
00:04:35 --> 00:04:37 And in our modern day,
00:04:38 --> 00:04:45 this is viewed broadly as the Christian view of sex,
00:04:45 --> 00:04:48 that it's a necessary evil.
00:04:48 --> 00:04:48 That's it.
00:04:48 --> 00:04:53 And it would see that this is the Bible's view of sex as well.
00:04:53 --> 00:04:58 Now, the third view, which is quite prominent in our society,
00:04:58 --> 00:05:02 increasingly so since the sexual revolution in the 1960s,
00:05:03 --> 00:05:07 the first view sees sex as an unavoidable drive.
00:05:08 --> 00:05:11 The second sees it as a necessary evil,
00:05:11 --> 00:05:21 and the third sees it as a critical form of personal identity and of self-expression.
00:05:23 --> 00:05:26 Historically, in the various views of sex,
00:05:26 --> 00:05:32 this one is a very, very modern concept.
00:05:32 --> 00:05:34 It doesn't have historical roots.
00:05:34 --> 00:05:36 It's very much a modern concept.
00:05:37 --> 00:05:38 And that is,
00:05:39 --> 00:05:40 sex, sexual expression,
00:05:40 --> 00:05:43 is a way that you are to be yourself
00:05:43 --> 00:05:45 and to find yourself.
00:05:46 --> 00:05:47 And therefore,
00:05:47 --> 00:05:50 sex in a physical sense
00:05:50 --> 00:05:52 is primarily
00:05:52 --> 00:05:54 for my individual,
00:05:54 --> 00:05:56 physical fulfillment
00:05:56 --> 00:05:59 and my self-discovery.
00:06:01 --> 00:06:03 It's a core of who I am
00:06:03 --> 00:06:04 and my self-expression.
00:06:05 --> 00:06:07 Now, the modern sexual revolution
00:06:07 --> 00:06:11 finds the idea of abstinence from sex
00:06:11 --> 00:06:12 in any form
00:06:12 --> 00:06:14 until marriage
00:06:14 --> 00:06:16 to not just to be unrealistic,
00:06:16 --> 00:06:19 but in fact to be ludicrous.
00:06:20 --> 00:06:22 It is absolute insanity.
00:06:23 --> 00:06:24 In fact, for many people,
00:06:25 --> 00:06:28 it does psychological harm.
00:06:29 --> 00:06:31 It's viewed as psychologically unhelpful
00:06:31 --> 00:06:32 and unhealthy
00:06:32 --> 00:06:35 to restrict yourself sexually,
00:06:35 --> 00:06:37 expressing yourself sexually.
00:06:38 --> 00:06:39 So that's,
00:06:39 --> 00:06:39 you know,
00:06:40 --> 00:06:41 sex in the city
00:06:41 --> 00:06:42 and the third view
00:06:42 --> 00:06:44 is very, very prominent
00:06:44 --> 00:06:46 in our day and age.
00:06:46 --> 00:06:48 So what is the Bible's view of sex then?
00:06:49 --> 00:06:50 It is, in fact,
00:06:50 --> 00:06:51 radically different.
00:06:52 --> 00:06:53 The Bible, in fact,
00:06:53 --> 00:06:54 does see,
00:06:54 --> 00:06:55 radically different
00:06:55 --> 00:06:56 and yet not entirely different.
00:06:57 --> 00:06:58 The Bible actually does see
00:06:58 --> 00:06:59 that sex is an appetite,
00:07:00 --> 00:07:02 but not in the same category
00:07:02 --> 00:07:03 that we might need
00:07:03 --> 00:07:05 food or sleep.
00:07:07 --> 00:07:09 Nor does the Bible view
00:07:09 --> 00:07:10 any appetite
00:07:10 --> 00:07:11 as something
00:07:11 --> 00:07:13 that should be gratified
00:07:13 --> 00:07:15 whenever we feel like it
00:07:15 --> 00:07:16 as much as we like.
00:07:17 --> 00:07:19 And that is pretty common wisdom
00:07:19 --> 00:07:20 in our society.
00:07:21 --> 00:07:23 Too many struggle
00:07:23 --> 00:07:24 to discipline their eating
00:07:24 --> 00:07:25 or their sleeping
00:07:25 --> 00:07:28 because our appetites for food
00:07:28 --> 00:07:29 and for sleep
00:07:29 --> 00:07:32 is seriously out of line
00:07:32 --> 00:07:34 with what our bodies really need.
00:07:36 --> 00:07:38 Most of us would rather
00:07:38 --> 00:07:39 be in bed right now.
00:07:41 --> 00:07:42 That's the reality.
00:07:42 --> 00:07:46 And when you have a buffet breakfast
00:07:46 --> 00:07:47 put in front of you
00:07:47 --> 00:07:48 at a hotel,
00:07:49 --> 00:07:50 you want everything.
00:07:50 --> 00:07:51 It's not just about
00:07:51 --> 00:07:53 getting your money's worth.
00:07:53 --> 00:07:54 You just want everything.
00:07:54 --> 00:07:55 You want to have a crack at it all.
00:07:56 --> 00:07:57 And so,
00:07:57 --> 00:07:57 therefore,
00:07:57 --> 00:07:58 it needs to be restricted.
00:07:59 --> 00:08:01 And our sex drive
00:08:01 --> 00:08:02 needs more boundaries
00:08:02 --> 00:08:02 and discipline
00:08:02 --> 00:08:03 because sex
00:08:03 --> 00:08:05 does not just shape
00:08:05 --> 00:08:08 my physical being,
00:08:08 --> 00:08:11 it shapes our inner being
00:08:11 --> 00:08:12 as well.
00:08:13 --> 00:08:15 It shapes our heart.
00:08:17 --> 00:08:18 Sex,
00:08:19 --> 00:08:19 I'm sorry,
00:08:19 --> 00:08:20 sin in our hearts
00:08:20 --> 00:08:23 distorts our passions,
00:08:23 --> 00:08:24 all of our passions,
00:08:24 --> 00:08:25 our desires,
00:08:26 --> 00:08:28 and especially so for sex.
00:08:28 --> 00:08:30 Because sex
00:08:30 --> 00:08:34 is for whole life self-giving.
00:08:36 --> 00:08:38 That's its design by God.
00:08:38 --> 00:08:39 That's its purpose.
00:08:39 --> 00:08:40 It's designed
00:08:40 --> 00:08:43 for whole life self-giving.
00:08:44 --> 00:08:46 But the sin in the heart says,
00:08:47 --> 00:08:50 I want it for selfish reasons.
00:08:50 --> 00:08:53 And so,
00:08:53 --> 00:08:55 the Bible puts many rules
00:08:55 --> 00:08:56 around sex
00:08:56 --> 00:08:58 to direct its use
00:08:58 --> 00:08:59 in the right way
00:08:59 --> 00:09:01 not
00:09:01 --> 00:09:06 to diminish
00:09:06 --> 00:09:08 pleasures in life,
00:09:08 --> 00:09:11 but in order to protect us,
00:09:12 --> 00:09:14 to shape our hearts.
00:09:16 --> 00:09:17 And so,
00:09:17 --> 00:09:18 the Bible does see it
00:09:18 --> 00:09:18 as an appetite,
00:09:18 --> 00:09:19 but with boundaries.
00:09:21 --> 00:09:22 Neither does the Bible
00:09:22 --> 00:09:23 see sex,
00:09:23 --> 00:09:24 it certainly doesn't see sex
00:09:24 --> 00:09:25 as dirty or demeaning
00:09:25 --> 00:09:26 or degrading.
00:09:27 --> 00:09:27 In fact,
00:09:27 --> 00:09:28 the entire Bible
00:09:28 --> 00:09:30 contradicts this view.
00:09:31 --> 00:09:32 Biblical Christianity
00:09:32 --> 00:09:33 is,
00:09:34 --> 00:09:35 I would suggest,
00:09:35 --> 00:09:36 the most
00:09:36 --> 00:09:39 bodily positive religion
00:09:39 --> 00:09:40 in the entire world.
00:09:41 --> 00:09:42 It teaches
00:09:42 --> 00:09:44 that God made matter.
00:09:44 --> 00:09:45 He made
00:09:45 --> 00:09:47 our physical bodies good.
00:09:47 --> 00:09:49 And the greatest evidence
00:09:49 --> 00:09:51 that it is so
00:09:51 --> 00:09:53 body positive
00:09:53 --> 00:09:55 is that God himself,
00:09:56 --> 00:09:57 God the Son,
00:09:57 --> 00:09:58 took on
00:09:58 --> 00:10:00 human form.
00:10:02 --> 00:10:03 And the promise
00:10:03 --> 00:10:05 for those who trust in Jesus
00:10:05 --> 00:10:06 is a future
00:10:06 --> 00:10:08 in his presence
00:10:08 --> 00:10:09 with perfect,
00:10:10 --> 00:10:11 resurrected bodies
00:10:11 --> 00:10:13 in a physical world.
00:10:13 --> 00:10:18 The Christian hope
00:10:18 --> 00:10:20 is physical.
00:10:23 --> 00:10:25 The thing that we love
00:10:25 --> 00:10:25 in this world
00:10:25 --> 00:10:27 perfected and restored.
00:10:27 --> 00:10:27 God the Lord.
00:10:29 --> 00:10:30 And as we've seen
00:10:30 --> 00:10:31 throughout this series,
00:10:31 --> 00:10:32 God created sexuality
00:10:32 --> 00:10:34 and gave a woman
00:10:34 --> 00:10:34 and a man
00:10:34 --> 00:10:35 to each other
00:10:35 --> 00:10:36 in the very beginning.
00:10:37 --> 00:10:38 The Bible
00:10:38 --> 00:10:39 is not prudish
00:10:39 --> 00:10:40 in any way.
00:10:41 --> 00:10:42 It is pro-sex
00:10:42 --> 00:10:43 in every way.
00:10:43 --> 00:10:44 It contains
00:10:44 --> 00:10:46 great love poetry
00:10:46 --> 00:10:47 that celebrates
00:10:47 --> 00:10:49 sexual passion
00:10:49 --> 00:10:49 and pleasure.
00:10:49 --> 00:10:50 love poetry
00:10:50 --> 00:10:51 and love
00:10:51 --> 00:10:51 Proverbs 5,
00:10:52 --> 00:10:52 19.
00:10:53 --> 00:10:54 Husbands are encouraged
00:10:54 --> 00:10:55 to let their wives
00:10:55 --> 00:10:56 breastfill them
00:10:56 --> 00:10:57 with delight
00:10:57 --> 00:10:58 and be intoxicated
00:10:58 --> 00:11:00 by their sexual love.
00:11:00 --> 00:11:01 Song of Songs
00:11:01 --> 00:11:03 is another Old Testament book
00:11:03 --> 00:11:04 that rejoices
00:11:04 --> 00:11:06 in the delights
00:11:06 --> 00:11:07 of sexual love
00:11:07 --> 00:11:08 in marriage.
00:11:09 --> 00:11:09 In
00:11:09 --> 00:11:12 Song 5,
00:11:12 --> 00:11:13 verses 10 to 16,
00:11:14 --> 00:11:15 it is the wife
00:11:15 --> 00:11:17 who candidly
00:11:17 --> 00:11:19 expresses her physical attraction
00:11:19 --> 00:11:21 towards her husband.
00:11:23 --> 00:11:23 Now,
00:11:24 --> 00:11:25 when you go there
00:11:25 --> 00:11:26 and you read that,
00:11:28 --> 00:11:29 I think virtually
00:11:29 --> 00:11:32 every English translation
00:11:32 --> 00:11:34 hesitates
00:11:34 --> 00:11:36 in its translation
00:11:36 --> 00:11:37 of the Hebrew.
00:11:38 --> 00:11:39 Every one of them does.
00:11:40 --> 00:11:41 The Hebrew
00:11:41 --> 00:11:42 in there
00:11:42 --> 00:11:43 is
00:11:43 --> 00:11:44 what you would
00:11:44 --> 00:11:45 describe as
00:11:45 --> 00:11:45 scholars
00:11:45 --> 00:11:47 as being
00:11:47 --> 00:11:48 embarrassingly
00:11:48 --> 00:11:49 erotic.
00:11:51 --> 00:11:51 And most
00:11:51 --> 00:11:52 translators,
00:11:52 --> 00:11:53 frankly,
00:11:53 --> 00:11:54 cannot bring themselves
00:11:54 --> 00:11:55 to bring out
00:11:55 --> 00:11:56 the obvious meaning
00:11:56 --> 00:11:58 of those verses
00:11:58 --> 00:12:00 which is
00:12:00 --> 00:12:01 very clearly
00:12:01 --> 00:12:02 of her
00:12:02 --> 00:12:03 arousal
00:12:03 --> 00:12:04 and her
00:12:04 --> 00:12:05 preparation
00:12:05 --> 00:12:05 for sex.
00:12:07 --> 00:12:07 That's what's
00:12:07 --> 00:12:08 happening in these
00:12:08 --> 00:12:08 verses.
00:12:09 --> 00:12:09 There's no
00:12:09 --> 00:12:11 shame here.
00:12:12 --> 00:12:12 I mean,
00:12:12 --> 00:12:13 the translators
00:12:13 --> 00:12:13 do it.
00:12:13 --> 00:12:14 The translators
00:12:14 --> 00:12:15 turn the lights
00:12:15 --> 00:12:16 off and dim the lights
00:12:16 --> 00:12:16 a little bit.
00:12:17 --> 00:12:18 But there's no
00:12:18 --> 00:12:19 shy,
00:12:19 --> 00:12:19 shame,
00:12:20 --> 00:12:20 turn the lights
00:12:20 --> 00:12:21 down,
00:12:21 --> 00:12:22 mechanical movement
00:12:22 --> 00:12:23 under the sheets.
00:12:23 --> 00:12:25 It is very clear
00:12:25 --> 00:12:25 in the Hebrew
00:12:25 --> 00:12:28 what's happening.
00:12:28 --> 00:12:29 The two
00:12:29 --> 00:12:30 are standing
00:12:30 --> 00:12:31 before each other.
00:12:31 --> 00:12:32 They are
00:12:32 --> 00:12:32 round
00:12:32 --> 00:12:33 and feeling
00:12:33 --> 00:12:34 no shame
00:12:34 --> 00:12:36 but only joy
00:12:36 --> 00:12:37 in each other's
00:12:37 --> 00:12:38 sexuality.
00:12:39 --> 00:12:39 In other words,
00:12:39 --> 00:12:40 if you haven't got it,
00:12:41 --> 00:12:42 Song of Songs 5,
00:12:42 --> 00:12:44 10 to 16
00:12:44 --> 00:12:46 is foreplay
00:12:46 --> 00:12:46 if you haven't
00:12:46 --> 00:12:47 got that worked
00:12:47 --> 00:12:48 out yet.
00:12:51 --> 00:12:52 The Bible
00:12:52 --> 00:12:52 is very
00:12:52 --> 00:12:53 uncomfortable
00:12:53 --> 00:12:54 for the
00:12:54 --> 00:12:54 prudish.
00:12:57 --> 00:12:58 The Bible
00:12:58 --> 00:12:59 also doesn't
00:12:59 --> 00:13:00 see sex
00:13:00 --> 00:13:00 as being
00:13:00 --> 00:13:01 primarily
00:13:01 --> 00:13:01 about
00:13:01 --> 00:13:02 individual
00:13:02 --> 00:13:03 happiness
00:13:03 --> 00:13:03 and fulfillment
00:13:03 --> 00:13:05 but that
00:13:05 --> 00:13:06 does not
00:13:06 --> 00:13:06 mean that
00:13:06 --> 00:13:07 sex
00:13:07 --> 00:13:07 is not
00:13:07 --> 00:13:07 about
00:13:07 --> 00:13:08 joy
00:13:08 --> 00:13:09 and pleasure
00:13:09 --> 00:13:10 and fulfillment.
00:13:12 --> 00:13:13 What the Bible
00:13:13 --> 00:13:14 teaches us
00:13:14 --> 00:13:16 is that
00:13:16 --> 00:13:16 sex is
00:13:16 --> 00:13:17 primarily
00:13:17 --> 00:13:18 a way
00:13:18 --> 00:13:19 of knowing
00:13:19 --> 00:13:19 God
00:13:19 --> 00:13:20 and building
00:13:20 --> 00:13:21 community
00:13:21 --> 00:13:22 and if you
00:13:22 --> 00:13:23 use it
00:13:23 --> 00:13:23 for those
00:13:23 --> 00:13:24 things
00:13:24 --> 00:13:25 rather
00:13:25 --> 00:13:26 than for
00:13:26 --> 00:13:26 your own
00:13:26 --> 00:13:27 personal
00:13:27 --> 00:13:28 satisfaction,
00:13:28 --> 00:13:29 it will
00:13:29 --> 00:13:29 lead
00:13:29 --> 00:13:30 ultimately
00:13:30 --> 00:13:31 to greater
00:13:31 --> 00:13:31 fulfillment
00:13:31 --> 00:13:32 than you
00:13:32 --> 00:13:32 could ever
00:13:32 --> 00:13:32 imagine.
00:13:32 --> 00:13:36 The first
00:13:36 --> 00:13:36 explicit
00:13:36 --> 00:13:37 mention
00:13:37 --> 00:13:37 of sex
00:13:37 --> 00:13:38 in the
00:13:38 --> 00:13:38 Bible
00:13:38 --> 00:13:40 is
00:13:40 --> 00:13:40 within
00:13:40 --> 00:13:40 the
00:13:40 --> 00:13:40 first
00:13:40 --> 00:13:41 two
00:13:41 --> 00:13:41 chapters,
00:13:42 --> 00:13:42 Genesis
00:13:42 --> 00:13:43 2.24
00:13:43 --> 00:13:44 which Paul
00:13:44 --> 00:13:45 quotes
00:13:45 --> 00:13:46 in Ephesians
00:13:46 --> 00:13:46 5 that
00:13:46 --> 00:13:47 Mark just
00:13:47 --> 00:13:47 read out
00:13:47 --> 00:13:47 for us
00:13:47 --> 00:13:49 where it
00:13:49 --> 00:13:49 says
00:13:49 --> 00:13:50 the male
00:13:50 --> 00:13:51 and the
00:13:51 --> 00:13:51 female
00:13:51 --> 00:13:53 are united
00:13:53 --> 00:13:55 to become
00:13:55 --> 00:13:55 one
00:13:55 --> 00:13:56 flesh.
00:13:58 --> 00:13:58 Now
00:13:58 --> 00:13:59 this is
00:13:59 --> 00:14:00 referring
00:14:00 --> 00:14:01 to
00:14:01 --> 00:14:02 physical
00:14:02 --> 00:14:03 and
00:14:03 --> 00:14:04 primarily
00:14:04 --> 00:14:05 a sexual
00:14:05 --> 00:14:06 union
00:14:06 --> 00:14:07 but it's
00:14:07 --> 00:14:08 referring to
00:14:08 --> 00:14:08 something much
00:14:08 --> 00:14:09 greater as
00:14:09 --> 00:14:09 well.
00:14:11 --> 00:14:12 The word
00:14:12 --> 00:14:13 flesh there
00:14:13 --> 00:14:15 is a
00:14:15 --> 00:14:15 figure of
00:14:15 --> 00:14:16 speech
00:14:16 --> 00:14:18 where it
00:14:18 --> 00:14:18 says God
00:14:18 --> 00:14:20 they become
00:14:20 --> 00:14:20 one flesh.
00:14:21 --> 00:14:21 It's a
00:14:21 --> 00:14:22 figure of
00:14:22 --> 00:14:22 speech
00:14:22 --> 00:14:24 in which
00:14:24 --> 00:14:25 a part
00:14:25 --> 00:14:26 is used
00:14:26 --> 00:14:27 to represent
00:14:27 --> 00:14:28 the whole.
00:14:29 --> 00:14:30 In other
00:14:30 --> 00:14:30 words it
00:14:30 --> 00:14:30 doesn't
00:14:30 --> 00:14:31 mean
00:14:31 --> 00:14:31 just
00:14:31 --> 00:14:32 the
00:14:32 --> 00:14:35 meat
00:14:35 --> 00:14:35 and the
00:14:35 --> 00:14:36 skin
00:14:36 --> 00:14:37 and the
00:14:37 --> 00:14:37 tendons
00:14:37 --> 00:14:38 and stuff.
00:14:38 --> 00:14:38 It's not
00:14:38 --> 00:14:38 referring to
00:14:38 --> 00:14:39 that in
00:14:39 --> 00:14:39 terms of
00:14:39 --> 00:14:40 flesh.
00:14:42 --> 00:14:42 It's
00:14:42 --> 00:14:43 referring to
00:14:43 --> 00:14:43 a part
00:14:43 --> 00:14:44 that represents
00:14:44 --> 00:14:44 the whole.
00:14:44 --> 00:14:44 In the same
00:14:44 --> 00:14:45 way if I
00:14:45 --> 00:14:45 said to
00:14:45 --> 00:14:45 you hey
00:14:45 --> 00:14:46 would someone
00:14:46 --> 00:14:46 just duck
00:14:46 --> 00:14:46 out and
00:14:46 --> 00:14:47 count heads
00:14:47 --> 00:14:47 for me
00:14:47 --> 00:14:47 out in
00:14:47 --> 00:14:47 kids
00:14:47 --> 00:14:48 church?
00:14:49 --> 00:14:49 Literally
00:14:49 --> 00:14:50 what I
00:14:50 --> 00:14:50 mean by
00:14:50 --> 00:14:50 that is
00:14:50 --> 00:14:50 I want
00:14:50 --> 00:14:51 you to
00:14:51 --> 00:14:51 get how
00:14:51 --> 00:14:51 many
00:14:51 --> 00:14:51 people
00:14:51 --> 00:14:51 are
00:14:51 --> 00:14:52 out
00:14:52 --> 00:14:52 there.
00:14:52 --> 00:14:53 Not
00:14:53 --> 00:14:53 how many
00:14:53 --> 00:14:53 heads
00:14:53 --> 00:14:53 are
00:14:53 --> 00:14:53 out
00:14:53 --> 00:14:54 there.
00:14:56 --> 00:14:57 Joel
00:14:57 --> 00:14:58 chapter 2
00:14:58 --> 00:14:59 verse
00:14:59 --> 00:15:00 28
00:15:00 --> 00:15:00 helps us
00:15:00 --> 00:15:01 understand
00:15:01 --> 00:15:02 what it
00:15:02 --> 00:15:02 means when
00:15:02 --> 00:15:03 it says
00:15:03 --> 00:15:03 here one
00:15:03 --> 00:15:04 flesh.
00:15:05 --> 00:15:05 God
00:15:05 --> 00:15:06 promises to
00:15:06 --> 00:15:06 pour out
00:15:06 --> 00:15:07 his spirit
00:15:07 --> 00:15:09 on all
00:15:09 --> 00:15:10 flesh.
00:15:11 --> 00:15:11 Now that
00:15:11 --> 00:15:12 doesn't mean
00:15:12 --> 00:15:14 that when
00:15:14 --> 00:15:15 God pours out
00:15:15 --> 00:15:15 his spirit
00:15:15 --> 00:15:16 it's just
00:15:16 --> 00:15:16 for our
00:15:16 --> 00:15:16 bodies
00:15:16 --> 00:15:17 that's it.
00:15:18 --> 00:15:18 Just
00:15:18 --> 00:15:19 giving it
00:15:19 --> 00:15:20 to the
00:15:20 --> 00:15:20 meat
00:15:20 --> 00:15:20 and the
00:15:20 --> 00:15:21 tendons.
00:15:21 --> 00:15:24 Genesis 2
00:15:24 --> 00:15:25 and Ephesians
00:15:25 --> 00:15:26 5 is
00:15:26 --> 00:15:26 saying that
00:15:26 --> 00:15:27 marriage is
00:15:27 --> 00:15:28 a union
00:15:28 --> 00:15:30 between two
00:15:30 --> 00:15:31 people so
00:15:31 --> 00:15:32 profound
00:15:32 --> 00:15:33 that they
00:15:33 --> 00:15:35 virtually become
00:15:35 --> 00:15:36 a new
00:15:36 --> 00:15:37 single
00:15:37 --> 00:15:37 person.
00:15:38 --> 00:15:39 The two
00:15:39 --> 00:15:41 become one.
00:15:44 --> 00:15:45 The marriage
00:15:45 --> 00:15:46 covenant
00:15:46 --> 00:15:47 and we've
00:15:47 --> 00:15:48 unpacked this
00:15:48 --> 00:15:48 already.
00:15:48 --> 00:15:49 the marriage
00:15:49 --> 00:15:49 covenant
00:15:49 --> 00:15:50 brings
00:15:50 --> 00:15:51 every
00:15:51 --> 00:15:51 aspect
00:15:51 --> 00:15:53 of two
00:15:53 --> 00:15:54 persons'
00:15:54 --> 00:15:54 lives
00:15:54 --> 00:15:55 together
00:15:55 --> 00:15:58 where they
00:15:58 --> 00:15:58 essentially
00:15:58 --> 00:15:59 merge
00:15:59 --> 00:16:01 into a
00:16:01 --> 00:16:02 single
00:16:02 --> 00:16:03 legal
00:16:03 --> 00:16:04 social
00:16:04 --> 00:16:05 economic
00:16:05 --> 00:16:06 union
00:16:06 --> 00:16:07 where they
00:16:07 --> 00:16:07 lose
00:16:07 --> 00:16:08 much of
00:16:08 --> 00:16:09 their
00:16:09 --> 00:16:09 independence.
00:16:12 --> 00:16:13 In love
00:16:13 --> 00:16:14 they donate
00:16:14 --> 00:16:15 themselves
00:16:15 --> 00:16:16 wholly
00:16:16 --> 00:16:17 to the
00:16:17 --> 00:16:18 other.
00:16:20 --> 00:16:21 To call
00:16:21 --> 00:16:22 the marriage
00:16:22 --> 00:16:22 one flesh
00:16:22 --> 00:16:23 then
00:16:23 --> 00:16:24 means that
00:16:24 --> 00:16:25 sex is
00:16:25 --> 00:16:25 understood
00:16:25 --> 00:16:26 as both
00:16:26 --> 00:16:27 a sign
00:16:27 --> 00:16:29 of the
00:16:29 --> 00:16:30 covenant
00:16:30 --> 00:16:31 commitment
00:16:31 --> 00:16:31 of the
00:16:31 --> 00:16:31 personal
00:16:31 --> 00:16:32 commitment
00:16:32 --> 00:16:32 of the
00:16:32 --> 00:16:33 legal
00:16:33 --> 00:16:33 union
00:16:33 --> 00:16:35 and
00:16:35 --> 00:16:35 it's
00:16:35 --> 00:16:36 also
00:16:36 --> 00:16:37 a means
00:16:37 --> 00:16:37 to
00:16:37 --> 00:16:38 accomplish
00:16:38 --> 00:16:38 it.
00:16:40 --> 00:16:40 It's
00:16:40 --> 00:16:41 also a
00:16:41 --> 00:16:41 means to
00:16:41 --> 00:16:42 accomplish
00:16:42 --> 00:16:42 the
00:16:42 --> 00:16:43 oneness.
00:16:44 --> 00:16:46 And that's
00:16:46 --> 00:16:47 why
00:16:47 --> 00:16:48 with the
00:16:48 --> 00:16:48 biblical
00:16:48 --> 00:16:48 ethic
00:16:48 --> 00:16:49 of
00:16:49 --> 00:16:49 sex
00:16:49 --> 00:16:50 it's
00:16:50 --> 00:16:51 very
00:16:51 --> 00:16:51 clear
00:16:51 --> 00:16:52 the
00:16:52 --> 00:16:52 Bible
00:16:52 --> 00:16:52 says
00:16:52 --> 00:16:53 do not
00:16:53 --> 00:16:54 unite
00:16:54 --> 00:16:54 with
00:16:54 --> 00:16:55 someone
00:16:55 --> 00:16:56 physically
00:16:56 --> 00:16:58 unless
00:16:58 --> 00:16:58 you are
00:16:58 --> 00:16:59 also
00:16:59 --> 00:16:59 willing
00:16:59 --> 00:17:00 to
00:17:00 --> 00:17:01 unite
00:17:01 --> 00:17:01 with
00:17:01 --> 00:17:01 the
00:17:01 --> 00:17:01 person
00:17:01 --> 00:17:02 emotionally
00:17:02 --> 00:17:04 personally
00:17:04 --> 00:17:05 socially
00:17:05 --> 00:17:06 economically
00:17:06 --> 00:17:07 and
00:17:07 --> 00:17:07 legally
00:17:07 --> 00:17:07 legally
00:17:07 --> 00:17:11 don't
00:17:11 --> 00:17:11 become
00:17:11 --> 00:17:12 physically
00:17:12 --> 00:17:12 naked
00:17:12 --> 00:17:14 and
00:17:14 --> 00:17:15 vulnerable
00:17:15 --> 00:17:17 to the
00:17:17 --> 00:17:17 other
00:17:17 --> 00:17:18 person
00:17:18 --> 00:17:18 without
00:17:18 --> 00:17:19 becoming
00:17:19 --> 00:17:19 vulnerable
00:17:19 --> 00:17:20 in
00:17:20 --> 00:17:20 every
00:17:20 --> 00:17:21 way
00:17:21 --> 00:17:23 because
00:17:23 --> 00:17:23 you have
00:17:23 --> 00:17:24 given up
00:17:24 --> 00:17:24 your freedom
00:17:24 --> 00:17:25 and bound
00:17:25 --> 00:17:26 yourself to
00:17:26 --> 00:17:26 them
00:17:26 --> 00:17:26 legally
00:17:26 --> 00:17:28 personally
00:17:28 --> 00:17:29 vulnerably
00:17:29 --> 00:17:29 in
00:17:29 --> 00:17:30 marriage
00:17:30 --> 00:17:34 and the
00:17:34 --> 00:17:34 Bible
00:17:34 --> 00:17:35 says
00:17:35 --> 00:17:35 that
00:17:35 --> 00:17:37 to
00:17:37 --> 00:17:38 protect
00:17:38 --> 00:17:39 us
00:17:39 --> 00:17:43 to
00:17:43 --> 00:17:43 protect
00:17:43 --> 00:17:43 us
00:17:43 --> 00:17:47 see once
00:17:47 --> 00:17:47 you have
00:17:47 --> 00:17:48 given
00:17:48 --> 00:17:49 yourself
00:17:49 --> 00:17:49 in
00:17:49 --> 00:17:50 marriage
00:17:50 --> 00:17:51 sex
00:17:51 --> 00:17:52 is a
00:17:52 --> 00:17:52 way of
00:17:52 --> 00:17:53 maintaining
00:17:53 --> 00:17:54 and deepening
00:17:54 --> 00:17:55 that union
00:17:55 --> 00:17:56 as the
00:17:56 --> 00:17:57 years go
00:17:57 --> 00:17:57 by
00:17:57 --> 00:17:58 in
00:17:58 --> 00:17:59 the
00:17:59 --> 00:17:59 Old
00:17:59 --> 00:17:59 Testament
00:17:59 --> 00:18:00 when
00:18:00 --> 00:18:00 God
00:18:00 --> 00:18:01 formed
00:18:01 --> 00:18:01 covenant
00:18:01 --> 00:18:03 relationship
00:18:03 --> 00:18:04 with
00:18:04 --> 00:18:04 people
00:18:04 --> 00:18:05 he
00:18:05 --> 00:18:06 directed
00:18:06 --> 00:18:06 them
00:18:06 --> 00:18:07 to
00:18:07 --> 00:18:08 periodically
00:18:08 --> 00:18:12 for
00:18:12 --> 00:18:12 them
00:18:12 --> 00:18:12 to
00:18:12 --> 00:18:13 remember
00:18:13 --> 00:18:14 the
00:18:14 --> 00:18:14 covenant
00:18:14 --> 00:18:15 relationship
00:18:15 --> 00:18:16 and
00:18:16 --> 00:18:17 all of
00:18:17 --> 00:18:17 its
00:18:17 --> 00:18:18 terms
00:18:18 --> 00:18:18 of the
00:18:18 --> 00:18:18 covenant
00:18:18 --> 00:18:19 relationship
00:18:19 --> 00:18:20 by
00:18:20 --> 00:18:21 reading
00:18:21 --> 00:18:21 the
00:18:21 --> 00:18:22 covenant
00:18:22 --> 00:18:22 together
00:18:22 --> 00:18:23 and
00:18:23 --> 00:18:23 then
00:18:23 --> 00:18:24 recommitting
00:18:24 --> 00:18:25 themselves
00:18:25 --> 00:18:25 to the
00:18:25 --> 00:18:26 covenant
00:18:26 --> 00:18:27 relationship
00:18:27 --> 00:18:29 and
00:18:29 --> 00:18:29 what
00:18:29 --> 00:18:30 God
00:18:30 --> 00:18:30 says
00:18:30 --> 00:18:30 is
00:18:30 --> 00:18:30 you
00:18:30 --> 00:18:31 don't
00:18:31 --> 00:18:31 just
00:18:31 --> 00:18:31 need
00:18:31 --> 00:18:31 the
00:18:31 --> 00:18:32 covenant
00:18:32 --> 00:18:32 you
00:18:32 --> 00:18:33 need
00:18:33 --> 00:18:33 covenant
00:18:33 --> 00:18:34 ceremonies
00:18:34 --> 00:18:36 to
00:18:36 --> 00:18:36 remind
00:18:36 --> 00:18:37 yourself
00:18:37 --> 00:18:37 and to
00:18:37 --> 00:18:38 recommit
00:18:38 --> 00:18:38 yourself
00:18:38 --> 00:18:39 to
00:18:39 --> 00:18:39 that
00:18:39 --> 00:18:39 covenant
00:18:39 --> 00:18:40 and
00:18:40 --> 00:18:40 it
00:18:40 --> 00:18:40 was
00:18:40 --> 00:18:41 crucial
00:18:41 --> 00:18:43 the
00:18:43 --> 00:18:43 recommitment
00:18:43 --> 00:18:44 ceremonies
00:18:44 --> 00:18:44 were crucial
00:18:44 --> 00:18:45 if they
00:18:45 --> 00:18:45 were to
00:18:45 --> 00:18:46 sustain
00:18:46 --> 00:18:47 a life
00:18:47 --> 00:18:47 of
00:18:47 --> 00:18:48 faithfulness
00:18:48 --> 00:18:48 to the
00:18:48 --> 00:18:49 covenant
00:18:49 --> 00:18:50 and
00:18:50 --> 00:18:50 the
00:18:50 --> 00:18:51 same
00:18:51 --> 00:18:52 is with
00:18:52 --> 00:18:52 the
00:18:52 --> 00:18:52 marriage
00:18:52 --> 00:18:53 covenant
00:18:53 --> 00:18:54 when
00:18:54 --> 00:18:55 you get
00:18:55 --> 00:18:55 married
00:18:55 --> 00:18:56 you make
00:18:56 --> 00:18:56 a
00:18:56 --> 00:18:56 solemn
00:18:57 --> 00:18:57 covenant
00:18:57 --> 00:18:57 with
00:18:57 --> 00:18:57 your
00:18:57 --> 00:18:58 spouse
00:18:58 --> 00:19:00 and
00:19:00 --> 00:19:00 as
00:19:00 --> 00:19:00 time
00:19:00 --> 00:19:01 goes
00:19:01 --> 00:19:01 by
00:19:01 --> 00:19:01 with
00:19:01 --> 00:19:01 all
00:19:01 --> 00:19:02 the
00:19:02 --> 00:19:02 ups
00:19:02 --> 00:19:02 and
00:19:02 --> 00:19:03 downs
00:19:03 --> 00:19:03 and
00:19:03 --> 00:19:03 the
00:19:03 --> 00:19:04 complexities
00:19:04 --> 00:19:04 of
00:19:04 --> 00:19:05 life
00:19:05 --> 00:19:06 there
00:19:06 --> 00:19:06 is
00:19:06 --> 00:19:06 a
00:19:06 --> 00:19:07 need
00:19:07 --> 00:19:07 to
00:19:07 --> 00:19:08 rekindle
00:19:08 --> 00:19:09 the
00:19:09 --> 00:19:09 heart
00:19:09 --> 00:19:10 and
00:19:10 --> 00:19:10 to
00:19:10 --> 00:19:11 renew
00:19:11 --> 00:19:12 the
00:19:12 --> 00:19:12 covenant
00:19:12 --> 00:19:16 and
00:19:16 --> 00:19:17 sex
00:19:17 --> 00:19:17 between
00:19:17 --> 00:19:18 a
00:19:18 --> 00:19:18 husband
00:19:18 --> 00:19:19 and
00:19:19 --> 00:19:19 a
00:19:19 --> 00:19:19 wife
00:19:19 --> 00:19:20 is
00:19:20 --> 00:19:21 God's
00:19:21 --> 00:19:21 unique
00:19:21 --> 00:19:21 way
00:19:21 --> 00:19:21 to
00:19:21 --> 00:19:22 do
00:19:22 --> 00:19:22 that
00:19:22 --> 00:19:24 sex
00:19:24 --> 00:19:24 is
00:19:24 --> 00:19:25 God's
00:19:25 --> 00:19:25 appointed
00:19:25 --> 00:19:26 way
00:19:26 --> 00:19:26 for
00:19:26 --> 00:19:26 two
00:19:26 --> 00:19:27 people
00:19:27 --> 00:19:28 to
00:19:28 --> 00:19:30 reciprocally
00:19:30 --> 00:19:31 if you
00:19:31 --> 00:19:31 like
00:19:31 --> 00:19:34 say to
00:19:34 --> 00:19:34 each
00:19:34 --> 00:19:34 other
00:19:34 --> 00:19:35 I
00:19:35 --> 00:19:36 belong
00:19:36 --> 00:19:37 completely
00:19:37 --> 00:19:39 permanently
00:19:39 --> 00:19:40 exclusively
00:19:40 --> 00:19:41 to
00:19:41 --> 00:19:42 you
00:19:42 --> 00:19:47 and
00:19:47 --> 00:19:47 that's
00:19:47 --> 00:19:47 why the
00:19:47 --> 00:19:48 Bible
00:19:48 --> 00:19:48 says you
00:19:48 --> 00:19:48 must not
00:19:48 --> 00:19:49 use
00:19:49 --> 00:19:49 sex to
00:19:49 --> 00:19:49 say
00:19:49 --> 00:19:50 anything
00:19:50 --> 00:19:50 less
00:19:50 --> 00:19:50 than
00:19:50 --> 00:19:51 that
00:19:51 --> 00:19:52 because
00:19:52 --> 00:19:52 it's
00:19:52 --> 00:19:52 not
00:19:52 --> 00:19:53 designed
00:19:53 --> 00:19:53 to say
00:19:53 --> 00:19:54 anything
00:19:54 --> 00:19:54 less
00:19:54 --> 00:19:54 than
00:19:54 --> 00:19:54 that
00:19:54 --> 00:19:55 sex
00:19:55 --> 00:19:57 and
00:19:57 --> 00:19:58 that's
00:19:58 --> 00:19:58 why the
00:19:58 --> 00:19:58 Bible
00:19:58 --> 00:19:59 says
00:19:59 --> 00:19:59 that a
00:19:59 --> 00:19:59 covenant
00:19:59 --> 00:20:00 is
00:20:00 --> 00:20:01 necessary
00:20:01 --> 00:20:01 for
00:20:01 --> 00:20:02 sex
00:20:02 --> 00:20:03 it
00:20:03 --> 00:20:03 creates
00:20:03 --> 00:20:04 a
00:20:04 --> 00:20:04 place
00:20:04 --> 00:20:05 of
00:20:05 --> 00:20:06 security
00:20:06 --> 00:20:07 for
00:20:07 --> 00:20:07 the
00:20:07 --> 00:20:08 vulnerability
00:20:08 --> 00:20:08 and
00:20:08 --> 00:20:09 for
00:20:09 --> 00:20:09 the
00:20:09 --> 00:20:09 intimacy
00:20:09 --> 00:20:11 a
00:20:11 --> 00:20:11 marriage
00:20:11 --> 00:20:12 covenant
00:20:12 --> 00:20:12 is
00:20:12 --> 00:20:13 necessary
00:20:13 --> 00:20:13 for
00:20:13 --> 00:20:14 sex
00:20:14 --> 00:20:14 and
00:20:14 --> 00:20:15 sex
00:20:15 --> 00:20:15 is
00:20:15 --> 00:20:16 necessary
00:20:16 --> 00:20:17 for
00:20:17 --> 00:20:17 the
00:20:17 --> 00:20:17 maintenance
00:20:17 --> 00:20:18 of
00:20:18 --> 00:20:18 the
00:20:18 --> 00:20:18 covenant
00:20:18 --> 00:20:19 I'm
00:20:19 --> 00:20:19 not
00:20:19 --> 00:20:20 sure
00:20:20 --> 00:20:20 you've
00:20:20 --> 00:20:20 ever
00:20:20 --> 00:20:20 thought
00:20:20 --> 00:20:21 about
00:20:21 --> 00:20:21 sex
00:20:21 --> 00:20:22 before
00:20:22 --> 00:20:22 as
00:20:22 --> 00:20:22 being
00:20:22 --> 00:20:23 a
00:20:23 --> 00:20:23 covenant
00:20:23 --> 00:20:24 renewal
00:20:24 --> 00:20:25 service
00:20:25 --> 00:20:31 the
00:20:31 --> 00:20:31 Bible
00:20:31 --> 00:20:31 does
00:20:31 --> 00:20:31 not
00:20:31 --> 00:20:32 teach
00:20:32 --> 00:20:32 sex
00:20:32 --> 00:20:34 sexual
00:20:34 --> 00:20:35 abstinence
00:20:35 --> 00:20:35 before
00:20:35 --> 00:20:36 marriage
00:20:36 --> 00:20:37 because
00:20:37 --> 00:20:37 it has
00:20:37 --> 00:20:38 a low
00:20:38 --> 00:20:38 view
00:20:38 --> 00:20:39 or a
00:20:39 --> 00:20:40 degraded
00:20:40 --> 00:20:40 view
00:20:40 --> 00:20:40 of
00:20:40 --> 00:20:41 sex
00:20:41 --> 00:20:42 it
00:20:42 --> 00:20:42 teaches
00:20:42 --> 00:20:43 it
00:20:43 --> 00:20:43 because
00:20:43 --> 00:20:44 it
00:20:44 --> 00:20:44 has
00:20:44 --> 00:20:45 the
00:20:45 --> 00:20:46 highest
00:20:46 --> 00:20:46 view
00:20:46 --> 00:20:46 of
00:20:46 --> 00:20:46 sex
00:20:46 --> 00:20:47 imaginable
00:20:47 --> 00:20:51 it's
00:20:51 --> 00:20:52 because
00:20:52 --> 00:20:52 of
00:20:52 --> 00:20:53 God's
00:20:53 --> 00:20:53 design
00:20:53 --> 00:20:54 and
00:20:54 --> 00:20:54 purpose
00:20:54 --> 00:20:54 for
00:20:54 --> 00:20:55 sex
00:20:55 --> 00:20:55 that
00:20:55 --> 00:20:55 it
00:20:55 --> 00:20:56 teaches
00:20:56 --> 00:20:56 us
00:20:56 --> 00:20:56 that
00:20:56 --> 00:20:56 sex
00:20:56 --> 00:20:57 outside
00:20:57 --> 00:20:57 of
00:20:57 --> 00:20:57 marriage
00:20:57 --> 00:20:58 is
00:20:58 --> 00:20:59 not
00:20:59 --> 00:20:59 just
00:20:59 --> 00:21:00 morally
00:21:00 --> 00:21:00 wrong
00:21:00 --> 00:21:01 but
00:21:01 --> 00:21:01 it's
00:21:01 --> 00:21:02 actually
00:21:02 --> 00:21:03 personally
00:21:03 --> 00:21:03 harmful
00:21:03 --> 00:21:07 if
00:21:07 --> 00:21:07 sex
00:21:07 --> 00:21:07 is
00:21:07 --> 00:21:08 designed
00:21:08 --> 00:21:08 to be
00:21:08 --> 00:21:09 part
00:21:09 --> 00:21:09 of
00:21:09 --> 00:21:10 making
00:21:10 --> 00:21:10 a
00:21:10 --> 00:21:10 covenant
00:21:10 --> 00:21:11 and
00:21:11 --> 00:21:12 experiencing
00:21:12 --> 00:21:12 that
00:21:12 --> 00:21:12 covenant
00:21:12 --> 00:21:13 renewal
00:21:13 --> 00:21:43
00:21:43 --> 00:21:44 connected
00:21:44 --> 00:21:44
00:21:44 --> 00:21:44 to
00:21:44 --> 00:21:44 to
00:21:44 --> 00:21:44 another
00:21:44 --> 00:21:45 person
00:21:45 --> 00:21:46 even
00:21:46 --> 00:21:46 when
00:21:46 --> 00:21:47 it's
00:21:47 --> 00:21:47 used
00:21:47 --> 00:21:48 wrongly
00:21:48 --> 00:21:49 and
00:21:49 --> 00:21:50 so
00:21:50 --> 00:21:50 the
00:21:50 --> 00:21:50 damage
00:21:50 --> 00:21:51 begins
00:21:51 --> 00:21:53 as we
00:21:53 --> 00:21:53 give
00:21:53 --> 00:21:54 ourselves
00:21:54 --> 00:21:54 away
00:21:54 --> 00:21:57 even
00:21:57 --> 00:21:57 if that's
00:21:57 --> 00:21:57 not
00:21:57 --> 00:21:58 we think
00:21:58 --> 00:21:58 that's
00:21:58 --> 00:21:59 what we're
00:21:59 --> 00:21:59 doing
00:21:59 --> 00:22:02 even
00:22:02 --> 00:22:03 if you
00:22:03 --> 00:22:03 are not
00:22:03 --> 00:22:04 married
00:22:04 --> 00:22:05 you may
00:22:05 --> 00:22:06 find yourself
00:22:06 --> 00:22:06 very quickly
00:22:06 --> 00:22:07 feeling
00:22:07 --> 00:22:08 marriage like
00:22:08 --> 00:22:09 ties
00:22:09 --> 00:22:10 to the
00:22:10 --> 00:22:10 person
00:22:10 --> 00:22:11 that you
00:22:11 --> 00:22:12 have just
00:22:12 --> 00:22:12 had
00:22:12 --> 00:22:13 physical
00:22:13 --> 00:22:13 union
00:22:13 --> 00:22:14 with
00:22:14 --> 00:22:14 feeling
00:22:14 --> 00:22:15 that the
00:22:15 --> 00:22:15 other
00:22:15 --> 00:22:15 person
00:22:15 --> 00:22:16 has
00:22:16 --> 00:22:16 obligations
00:22:16 --> 00:22:17 to you
00:22:17 --> 00:22:17 in some
00:22:17 --> 00:22:18 way
00:22:18 --> 00:22:19 because
00:22:19 --> 00:22:19 you've
00:22:19 --> 00:22:20 had
00:22:20 --> 00:22:20 sex
00:22:20 --> 00:22:22 but
00:22:22 --> 00:22:22 they
00:22:22 --> 00:22:22 have
00:22:22 --> 00:22:22 no
00:22:22 --> 00:22:23 legal
00:22:23 --> 00:22:24 social
00:22:24 --> 00:22:24 or
00:22:24 --> 00:22:25 moral
00:22:25 --> 00:22:25 responsibility
00:22:25 --> 00:22:26 even
00:22:26 --> 00:22:26 to
00:22:26 --> 00:22:27 call
00:22:27 --> 00:22:27 you
00:22:27 --> 00:22:27 back
00:22:27 --> 00:22:27 the
00:22:27 --> 00:22:28 next
00:22:28 --> 00:22:28 morning
00:22:28 --> 00:22:30 or
00:22:30 --> 00:22:30 even
00:22:30 --> 00:22:30 to
00:22:30 --> 00:22:30 be
00:22:30 --> 00:22:30 there
00:22:30 --> 00:22:30 for
00:22:30 --> 00:22:31 breakfast
00:22:31 --> 00:22:33 and
00:22:33 --> 00:22:33 this
00:22:33 --> 00:22:34 leads
00:22:34 --> 00:22:34 to
00:22:34 --> 00:22:34 jealousy
00:22:34 --> 00:22:35 and
00:22:35 --> 00:22:35 hurt
00:22:35 --> 00:22:36 feelings
00:22:36 --> 00:22:36 and
00:22:36 --> 00:22:37 obsessiveness
00:22:37 --> 00:22:37 if
00:22:37 --> 00:22:38 two
00:22:38 --> 00:22:38 people
00:22:38 --> 00:22:38 are
00:22:38 --> 00:22:38 having
00:22:38 --> 00:22:39 sex
00:22:39 --> 00:22:39 but
00:22:39 --> 00:22:39 they're
00:22:39 --> 00:22:39 not
00:22:39 --> 00:22:40 married
00:22:40 --> 00:22:41 it
00:22:41 --> 00:22:41 makes
00:22:41 --> 00:22:41 breaking
00:22:41 --> 00:22:42 up
00:22:42 --> 00:22:42 vastly
00:22:42 --> 00:22:43 harder
00:22:43 --> 00:22:43 !
00:22:43 --> 00:22:44 than
00:22:44 --> 00:22:44 it
00:22:44 --> 00:22:44 should
00:22:44 --> 00:22:44 be
00:22:44 --> 00:22:45 and
00:22:45 --> 00:22:45 it
00:22:45 --> 00:22:46 leads
00:22:46 --> 00:22:46 many
00:22:46 --> 00:22:46 people
00:22:46 --> 00:22:46 to
00:22:46 --> 00:22:47 stay
00:22:47 --> 00:22:47 trapped
00:22:47 --> 00:22:48 in
00:22:48 --> 00:22:49 relationships
00:22:49 --> 00:22:50 that
00:22:50 --> 00:22:50 are
00:22:50 --> 00:22:50 not
00:22:50 --> 00:22:51 good
00:22:51 --> 00:22:52 because
00:22:52 --> 00:22:52 of
00:22:52 --> 00:22:53 feelings
00:22:53 --> 00:22:54 that
00:22:54 --> 00:22:54 they
00:22:54 --> 00:22:54 have
00:22:54 --> 00:22:55 connected
00:22:55 --> 00:22:55 themselves
00:22:55 --> 00:22:56 to
00:22:56 --> 00:22:56 this
00:22:56 --> 00:22:56 person
00:22:56 --> 00:23:02 sex
00:23:02 --> 00:23:02 outside
00:23:02 --> 00:23:03 of
00:23:03 --> 00:23:03 marriage
00:23:03 --> 00:23:04 eventually
00:23:04 --> 00:23:05 works
00:23:05 --> 00:23:06 backwards
00:23:06 --> 00:23:08 to the
00:23:08 --> 00:23:09 point
00:23:09 --> 00:23:09 where it
00:23:09 --> 00:23:09 makes
00:23:09 --> 00:23:09 you
00:23:09 --> 00:23:10 less
00:23:10 --> 00:23:10 able
00:23:10 --> 00:23:11 to
00:23:11 --> 00:23:11 commit
00:23:11 --> 00:23:11 and
00:23:11 --> 00:23:12 trust
00:23:12 --> 00:23:12 another
00:23:12 --> 00:23:12 human
00:23:12 --> 00:23:13 being
00:23:13 --> 00:23:21 so
00:23:21 --> 00:23:23 that's
00:23:23 --> 00:23:23 the
00:23:23 --> 00:23:23 biblical
00:23:23 --> 00:23:24 sex
00:23:24 --> 00:23:24 ethic
00:23:24 --> 00:23:25 and
00:23:25 --> 00:23:25 the
00:23:25 --> 00:23:25 high
00:23:25 --> 00:23:26 view
00:23:26 --> 00:23:26 so
00:23:26 --> 00:23:26 what
00:23:26 --> 00:23:27 does
00:23:27 --> 00:23:27 that
00:23:27 --> 00:23:27 mean
00:23:27 --> 00:23:27 for
00:23:27 --> 00:23:27 sex
00:23:27 --> 00:23:28 in
00:23:28 --> 00:23:28 marriage
00:23:28 --> 00:23:31 we
00:23:31 --> 00:23:31 should
00:23:31 --> 00:23:31 not
00:23:31 --> 00:23:31 be
00:23:31 --> 00:23:32 surprised
00:23:32 --> 00:23:32 that
00:23:32 --> 00:23:33 given
00:23:33 --> 00:23:33 that
00:23:33 --> 00:23:34 view
00:23:34 --> 00:23:34 that
00:23:34 --> 00:23:34 various
00:23:34 --> 00:23:35 passages
00:23:35 --> 00:23:35 instruct
00:23:35 --> 00:23:36 marriage
00:23:36 --> 00:23:36 couples
00:23:36 --> 00:23:37 to enjoy
00:23:37 --> 00:23:37 sex
00:23:37 --> 00:23:38 and to
00:23:38 --> 00:23:38 do
00:23:38 --> 00:23:38 so
00:23:38 --> 00:23:38 frequently
00:23:38 --> 00:23:39 1
00:23:39 --> 00:23:39 Corinthians
00:23:39 --> 00:23:40 7
00:23:40 --> 00:23:41 is one
00:23:41 --> 00:23:41 of those
00:23:41 --> 00:23:42 classic
00:23:42 --> 00:23:42 passages
00:23:42 --> 00:23:43 Paul
00:23:43 --> 00:23:44 speaks
00:23:44 --> 00:23:45 with real
00:23:45 --> 00:23:45 clarity
00:23:45 --> 00:23:46 about
00:23:46 --> 00:23:46 sex
00:23:46 --> 00:23:47 in
00:23:47 --> 00:23:47 marriage
00:23:47 --> 00:23:47 the
00:23:47 --> 00:23:47 husband
00:23:47 --> 00:23:48 should
00:23:48 --> 00:23:48 fulfill
00:23:48 --> 00:23:49 his
00:23:49 --> 00:23:49 marital
00:23:49 --> 00:23:49 duty
00:23:49 --> 00:23:50 to
00:23:50 --> 00:23:50 his
00:23:50 --> 00:23:50 wife
00:23:50 --> 00:23:50 and
00:23:50 --> 00:23:51 likewise
00:23:51 --> 00:23:51 the
00:23:51 --> 00:23:51 wife
00:23:51 --> 00:23:51 to
00:23:51 --> 00:23:51 her
00:23:51 --> 00:23:52 husband
00:23:52 --> 00:23:52 the
00:23:52 --> 00:23:52 wife's
00:23:52 --> 00:23:53 body
00:23:53 --> 00:23:53 does
00:23:53 --> 00:23:53 not
00:23:53 --> 00:23:53 belong
00:23:53 --> 00:23:54 to
00:23:54 --> 00:23:54 her
00:23:54 --> 00:23:54 alone
00:23:54 --> 00:23:54 but
00:23:54 --> 00:23:55 also
00:23:55 --> 00:23:55 to
00:23:55 --> 00:23:55 her
00:23:55 --> 00:23:55 husband
00:23:55 --> 00:23:56 in
00:23:56 --> 00:23:56 the
00:23:56 --> 00:23:56 same
00:23:56 --> 00:23:57 way
00:23:57 --> 00:23:57 the
00:23:57 --> 00:23:57 husband's
00:23:57 --> 00:23:58 body
00:23:58 --> 00:23:58 does
00:23:58 --> 00:23:58 not
00:23:58 --> 00:23:59 belong
00:23:59 --> 00:23:59 to
00:23:59 --> 00:23:59 him
00:23:59 --> 00:24:00 alone
00:24:00 --> 00:24:00 but
00:24:00 --> 00:24:01 also
00:24:01 --> 00:24:01 to
00:24:01 --> 00:24:01 his
00:24:01 --> 00:24:01 wife
00:24:01 --> 00:24:02 do
00:24:02 --> 00:24:02 not
00:24:02 --> 00:24:02 deprive
00:24:02 --> 00:24:02 each
00:24:02 --> 00:24:02 other
00:24:02 --> 00:24:03 except
00:24:03 --> 00:24:03 for
00:24:03 --> 00:24:03 mutual
00:24:03 --> 00:24:04 consent
00:24:04 --> 00:24:04 and
00:24:04 --> 00:24:05 for
00:24:05 --> 00:24:05 a
00:24:05 --> 00:24:06 time
00:24:06 --> 00:24:07 now
00:24:07 --> 00:24:08 bear
00:24:08 --> 00:24:09 in
00:24:09 --> 00:24:09 mind
00:24:09 --> 00:24:09 that
00:24:09 --> 00:24:10 when
00:24:10 --> 00:24:10 those
00:24:10 --> 00:24:11 words
00:24:11 --> 00:24:11 were
00:24:11 --> 00:24:11 written
00:24:11 --> 00:24:11 by
00:24:11 --> 00:24:12 Paul
00:24:12 --> 00:24:13 this
00:24:13 --> 00:24:13 is a
00:24:13 --> 00:24:13 time
00:24:13 --> 00:24:14 when
00:24:14 --> 00:24:14 women
00:24:14 --> 00:24:15 were
00:24:15 --> 00:24:15 considered
00:24:15 --> 00:24:16 culturally
00:24:16 --> 00:24:17 the
00:24:17 --> 00:24:17 possessions
00:24:17 --> 00:24:17
00:24:17 --> 00:24:18 of
00:24:18 --> 00:24:18 their
00:24:18 --> 00:24:18 husbands
00:24:18 --> 00:24:20 and
00:24:20 --> 00:24:20 it
00:24:20 --> 00:24:20 was
00:24:20 --> 00:24:20 the
00:24:20 --> 00:24:21 woman
00:24:21 --> 00:24:21 who
00:24:21 --> 00:24:21 was
00:24:21 --> 00:24:22 bound
00:24:22 --> 00:24:23 exclusively
00:24:23 --> 00:24:23 to
00:24:23 --> 00:24:24 a
00:24:24 --> 00:24:24 husband
00:24:24 --> 00:24:25 but
00:24:25 --> 00:24:25 the
00:24:25 --> 00:24:25 husbands
00:24:25 --> 00:24:26 were
00:24:26 --> 00:24:26 encouraged
00:24:26 --> 00:24:27 to
00:24:27 --> 00:24:27 express
00:24:27 --> 00:24:28 themselves
00:24:28 --> 00:24:29 sexually
00:24:29 --> 00:24:29 culturally
00:24:29 --> 00:24:29 with
00:24:29 --> 00:24:30 whoever
00:24:30 --> 00:24:30 and
00:24:30 --> 00:24:31 in
00:24:31 --> 00:24:31 fact
00:24:31 --> 00:24:31 you
00:24:31 --> 00:24:32 often
00:24:32 --> 00:24:32 did
00:24:32 --> 00:24:32 not
00:24:32 --> 00:24:33 have
00:24:33 --> 00:24:33 sexual
00:24:33 --> 00:24:34 relations
00:24:34 --> 00:24:34 with
00:24:34 --> 00:24:34 your
00:24:34 --> 00:24:35 wife
00:24:35 --> 00:24:35 except
00:24:35 --> 00:24:35 for
00:24:35 --> 00:24:36 procreation
00:24:36 --> 00:24:37 and
00:24:37 --> 00:24:38 it
00:24:38 --> 00:24:38 was
00:24:38 --> 00:24:39 the
00:24:39 --> 00:24:39 servants
00:24:39 --> 00:24:40 the
00:24:40 --> 00:24:40 mistresses
00:24:40 --> 00:24:41 that
00:24:41 --> 00:24:41 the
00:24:41 --> 00:24:42 man
00:24:42 --> 00:24:42 of
00:24:42 --> 00:24:42 the
00:24:42 --> 00:24:42 house
00:24:42 --> 00:24:43 would
00:24:43 --> 00:24:43 more
00:24:43 --> 00:24:44 frequently
00:24:44 --> 00:24:44 have
00:24:44 --> 00:24:45 sexual
00:24:45 --> 00:24:45 relationship
00:24:45 --> 00:24:46 with
00:24:46 --> 00:24:46 and so
00:24:46 --> 00:24:47 it's
00:24:47 --> 00:24:47 profound
00:24:47 --> 00:24:48 what
00:24:48 --> 00:24:48 Paul
00:24:48 --> 00:24:49 says
00:24:49 --> 00:24:49 here
00:24:49 --> 00:24:50 profound
00:24:50 --> 00:24:52 don't
00:24:52 --> 00:24:52 miss
00:24:52 --> 00:24:52 it
00:24:52 --> 00:24:53 the
00:24:53 --> 00:24:54 husband's
00:24:54 --> 00:24:54 body
00:24:54 --> 00:24:55 does
00:24:55 --> 00:24:55 not
00:24:55 --> 00:24:55 belong
00:24:55 --> 00:24:56 to him
00:24:56 --> 00:24:56 alone
00:24:56 --> 00:24:56 but
00:24:56 --> 00:24:57 also
00:24:57 --> 00:24:57 to
00:24:57 --> 00:24:57 the
00:24:57 --> 00:24:58 wife
00:24:58 --> 00:25:01 that's
00:25:01 --> 00:25:01 the
00:25:01 --> 00:25:02 sexual
00:25:02 --> 00:25:02 biblical
00:25:02 --> 00:25:03 ethic
00:25:03 --> 00:25:04 each
00:25:04 --> 00:25:04 partner
00:25:04 --> 00:25:05 is to
00:25:05 --> 00:25:05 be
00:25:05 --> 00:25:06 primarily
00:25:06 --> 00:25:07 concerned
00:25:07 --> 00:25:07 with
00:25:07 --> 00:25:08 giving
00:25:08 --> 00:25:09 sexual
00:25:09 --> 00:25:09 pleasure
00:25:09 --> 00:25:11 not
00:25:11 --> 00:25:11 receiving
00:25:11 --> 00:25:12 it
00:25:12 --> 00:25:16 and
00:25:16 --> 00:25:16 in fact
00:25:16 --> 00:25:16 the
00:25:16 --> 00:25:17 greatest
00:25:17 --> 00:25:17 sexual
00:25:17 --> 00:25:18 pleasure
00:25:18 --> 00:25:18 should
00:25:18 --> 00:25:18 be
00:25:18 --> 00:25:19 the
00:25:19 --> 00:25:19 pleasure
00:25:19 --> 00:25:20 of
00:25:20 --> 00:25:20 seeing
00:25:20 --> 00:25:20 your
00:25:20 --> 00:25:21 spouse
00:25:21 --> 00:25:21 getting
00:25:21 --> 00:25:22 pleasure
00:25:22 --> 00:25:23 and
00:25:23 --> 00:25:24 when
00:25:24 --> 00:25:24 you
00:25:24 --> 00:25:24 get
00:25:24 --> 00:25:26 to
00:25:26 --> 00:25:27 the
00:25:27 --> 00:25:28 place
00:25:28 --> 00:25:29 in
00:25:29 --> 00:25:29 your
00:25:29 --> 00:25:30 marriage
00:25:30 --> 00:25:30 marriage
00:25:30 --> 00:25:31 where
00:25:31 --> 00:25:31 giving
00:25:31 --> 00:25:32 arousal
00:25:32 --> 00:25:33 is the
00:25:33 --> 00:25:33 most
00:25:33 --> 00:25:34 arousing
00:25:34 --> 00:25:34 thing
00:25:34 --> 00:25:35 you're
00:25:35 --> 00:25:36 actually
00:25:36 --> 00:25:36 practicing
00:25:36 --> 00:25:37 the
00:25:37 --> 00:25:37 principle
00:25:37 --> 00:25:37 of
00:25:37 --> 00:25:37 1
00:25:37 --> 00:25:38 Corinthians
00:25:38 --> 00:25:38 7
00:25:38 --> 00:25:42 now
00:25:42 --> 00:25:49 just to clarify and get a little bit more details here, I'm not talking about performance.
00:25:49 --> 00:25:58 That primarily, if you were here earlier on the series, I talked about the world's view of
00:25:58 --> 00:26:05 marriage and being primarily about attraction, physical attraction. What drives in that moment
00:26:05 --> 00:26:12 is that sexual relationships ultimately come about performance. You know, have the sex act
00:26:12 --> 00:26:18 and you're thinking, did I do okay? Do you feel great? And if you go, oh no, actually,
00:26:19 --> 00:26:26 the previous guy was better, you feel deflated and your identity's wrapped up in it.
00:26:27 --> 00:26:32 It's all about performance. And so when I'm talking about arousal here and giving of self
00:26:32 --> 00:26:37 and pleasure, I'm not talking, you know, is every time an orgasm. I'm not talking about
00:26:37 --> 00:26:45 that at all. I mean, for you and married, for those who are married, just start trying
00:26:45 --> 00:26:54 to simply love the other insects. Just love each other. That's it. Stop worrying about
00:26:54 --> 00:27:04 what you are getting and start working on what you can do to just give. Give.
00:27:04 --> 00:27:14 Now, this also, I think, 1 Corinthians addresses the typical problem that many couples experience
00:27:14 --> 00:27:19 in marriage at various points in relationship where one person wants more sex than the other
00:27:19 --> 00:27:27 one does. And if your main purpose in sex is giving pleasure, not getting pleasure, then
00:27:27 --> 00:27:37 a person who doesn't have as much of a sex drive physically can, in fact, give the other person
00:27:37 --> 00:27:43 pleasure as a gift. It's a gift. That's what Paul's instructing here in 1 Corinthians 7.
00:27:45 --> 00:27:54 And according to this, in 1 Corinthians 7, it is a legitimate act of love, according to Paul.
00:27:57 --> 00:28:07 It's a gift to give. It's a gift to give. It's not a requirement you can demand. It's a gift to give.
00:28:09 --> 00:28:18 Don't buy into the lie that says unless you're going to be all passionate, then you can't do it.
00:28:18 --> 00:28:22 Do it as a gift to each other.
00:28:27 --> 00:28:32 Now, related to this are the differences that many spouses experience over what is the most satisfying
00:28:32 --> 00:28:38 context for sex. Now, of course, this is not universal, but it might be.
00:28:38 --> 00:28:53 But for males, context means very little. Really, all you really need is pretty much time,
00:28:53 --> 00:28:59 any time, any place, anywhere, you know, like, to just, that's the male context for sex.
00:28:59 --> 00:29:10 The blind side to this means that us blokes can be oblivious to something that is more important
00:29:10 --> 00:29:19 to our wives. And that means the need for preparing for sex emotionally.
00:29:19 --> 00:29:27 I don't mean by that flowers and candles, although it might mean that.
00:29:30 --> 00:29:37 But preparing for sex emotionally, conversation, connection.
00:29:38 --> 00:29:43 We must, either way, what we need to understand with our differences,
00:29:43 --> 00:29:46 we need to be very patient with each other.
00:29:46 --> 00:29:50 However, the Bible gives such a very high view of sex.
00:29:51 --> 00:29:56 It is a sign and a seal of our oneness with each other and with God.
00:29:57 --> 00:30:07 And that is why sexual intimacy will often be the very first sign of problems in a marriage relationship.
00:30:07 --> 00:30:37 Sex is such a great and a sensitive thing that you're not able to just sweep your problems,
00:30:37 --> 00:30:38 under the bedsheets.
00:30:40 --> 00:30:42 It will be there.
00:30:43 --> 00:30:47 Unless your marriage relationship is in good condition,
00:30:49 --> 00:30:51 sex doesn't work.
00:30:53 --> 00:31:00 A lack of sexual intimacy may be a sign of a deeper problem in the relationship.
00:31:00 --> 00:31:05 It is often the case that if those problems are addressed,
00:31:07 --> 00:31:12 then what happens is that sexual intimacy starts to improve.
00:31:12 --> 00:31:23 That is, if you go to a counsellor wanting help with your sexual relationship,
00:31:24 --> 00:31:29 they don't draw pictures, they don't help you with techniques,
00:31:30 --> 00:31:33 they help you connect and understand.
00:31:33 --> 00:31:41 A fundamental rule of marriage is that over time you'll be married to many spouses,
00:31:42 --> 00:31:46 even if it's the same person you're being married to the whole time,
00:31:46 --> 00:31:48 because of the change and the shift.
00:31:48 --> 00:31:52 There's time, children, illness, age.
00:31:52 --> 00:31:54 It brings its changes and its challenges.
00:31:54 --> 00:31:59 And if we don't confront and adapt to those changes and those challenges,
00:32:00 --> 00:32:03 they will ultimately erode our sex life.
00:32:05 --> 00:32:10 Without joyful, loving sex, the friction in a relationship,
00:32:10 --> 00:32:15 a marriage relationship, will often bring anger, resent,
00:32:16 --> 00:32:18 hardness and disappointment,
00:32:18 --> 00:32:25 rather than sex being a commitment glue that holds you together,
00:32:26 --> 00:32:29 it can become actually a force to divide you.
00:32:31 --> 00:32:37 And so my encouragement for you is to never give up on your sex life.
00:32:38 --> 00:32:39 If you're married, that is.
00:32:41 --> 00:32:44 Caveat there in case I haven't been clear previously.
00:32:46 --> 00:32:47 Which brings me to the final point.
00:32:48 --> 00:32:50 And the purpose of it and the glory of it.
00:32:51 --> 00:32:55 Sex make wonderful bedfellows, but they make terrible gods.
00:32:56 --> 00:32:58 Sex is not God.
00:33:00 --> 00:33:01 Marriage is not God.
00:33:02 --> 00:33:02 God is God.
00:33:03 --> 00:33:09 And sex in the covenant of marriage is part of God's great plan.
00:33:10 --> 00:33:14 It is a plan, part of his plan to sanctify us
00:33:14 --> 00:33:21 and to point us to the rapturous delight of the ultimate marriage in the future.
00:33:22 --> 00:33:25 Of the ultimate union between Christ and his church.
00:33:25 --> 00:33:32 A moment ago, I mentioned Song of Songs 5.
00:33:32 --> 00:33:39 It's candid description of the erotic love in marriage
00:33:39 --> 00:33:50 and particularly the description of the woman and her arousal at the man.
00:33:50 --> 00:33:55 And what is remarkable about that,
00:33:55 --> 00:33:58 scholars will tell you that it is,
00:33:58 --> 00:34:05 that those words in Song of Songs 5 are highly unusual.
00:34:06 --> 00:34:07 Highly unusual.
00:34:08 --> 00:34:10 In ancient texts.
00:34:10 --> 00:34:21 Because Song of Songs is primarily the woman speaking to the man.
00:34:22 --> 00:34:24 That's highly unusual in ancient texts.
00:34:24 --> 00:34:29 It's usually the man speaking about the woman's features.
00:34:31 --> 00:34:35 And in Song of Songs, it's her voice which is dominant.
00:34:35 --> 00:34:36 She's the one who seeks.
00:34:36 --> 00:34:37 She's the one who pursues.
00:34:38 --> 00:34:39 She's the one who initiates.
00:34:40 --> 00:34:41 Highly unusual.
00:34:41 --> 00:34:53 And there are only a couple of ancient texts still in existence today.
00:34:55 --> 00:34:56 Only a couple.
00:34:56 --> 00:35:06 Out of all that would be expressing the physical features of another human being,
00:35:06 --> 00:35:12 there's only a couple in the world in existence in all ancient texts
00:35:12 --> 00:35:15 where it's the woman describing the man's body.
00:35:17 --> 00:35:22 And Song of Songs 5, 10 to 16 is the clearest of them.
00:35:22 --> 00:35:35 And this is therefore the only description in the Bible
00:35:35 --> 00:35:42 where a woman describes the man's body in detail.
00:35:43 --> 00:35:46 The physical features of the man.
00:35:47 --> 00:35:48 Only other one.
00:35:49 --> 00:35:51 Except for one.
00:35:52 --> 00:35:54 In the book of Revelation.
00:35:55 --> 00:36:00 Revelation 1, Revelation 19 where we read the symbolic bodily descriptions
00:36:00 --> 00:36:06 of the resurrected, ascended, glorified and reigning Jesus.
00:36:08 --> 00:36:14 That is the woman's erotic, candid, joyful, rapturous description
00:36:14 --> 00:36:21 of her lover in Song of Songs 5.
00:36:21 --> 00:36:22 Her arousal.
00:36:22 --> 00:36:26 Her passion to be united with him.
00:36:26 --> 00:36:30 Is meant to point us to Jesus.
00:36:34 --> 00:36:36 It's meant to point us to the gospel.
00:36:36 --> 00:36:40 It's meant to point us to the cross.
00:36:41 --> 00:36:47 And that's why for centuries biblical scholars have said that Song of Songs is ultimately about
00:36:47 --> 00:36:51 the love and the union between Jesus Christ and his church.
00:36:51 --> 00:37:04 And so as we read Song of Songs 5, I mean, there might be some wives here who, well, that's my husband.
00:37:04 --> 00:37:08 Not when I look around the room necessarily or myself in the mirror.
00:37:08 --> 00:37:20 But we're meant to see Jesus as the one who is altogether lovely, our beloved, our friend.
00:37:20 --> 00:37:23 Song of Songs 5.16.
00:37:23 --> 00:37:38 Jesus is lovely in his person, in his glory, in his majesty, in his resurrection, in his ascension, in his grace, in his power, in his wisdom, in his pardon, and in his selfless incarnation and death.
00:37:38 --> 00:37:44 Jesus is the epitome of self-denial and self-giving.
00:37:45 --> 00:38:04 And John 17 tells us that from all of eternity, the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit have been adoring and glorifying each other, living in high devotion to each other, pouring love and joy and pleasure into each other's hearts continually.
00:38:04 --> 00:38:29 And God made man and woman and brought them together to be one flesh, to represent that, to reflect, and in sex, to reflect the joyous, the self-giving, and the pleasure and the love of God that exists in the very life of the Trinity for all of eternity.
00:38:29 --> 00:38:52 Sex is glorious, not only because it reflects the joy and pleasure in the Trinity, but also because it points us to eternal delight, joy, pleasure of love that we will have in heaven in all our relationships with God and each other.
00:38:52 --> 00:38:58 This is not in your notes.
00:38:58 --> 00:38:58 This is not in your notes.
00:39:02 --> 00:39:14 But husband and wife, next time you have sex and you go, well, that was good, you say, my union with Christ is going to be even more spectacular.
00:39:14 --> 00:39:21 More pleasurable, more fulfilling, more joyous.
00:39:22 --> 00:39:29 And unlike this moment, which I will forget in a couple of minutes, let's say half an hour,
00:39:32 --> 00:39:36 the presence of Christ will be eternal.
00:39:38 --> 00:39:40 It will never end.
00:39:40 --> 00:39:47 Every physical orgasm points to the ultimate spiritual orgasm that will never end.
00:39:51 --> 00:39:59 According to Ephesians 5, Christian marriage should look like crucifixion, where selfless love and selfless submission collide.
00:39:59 --> 00:40:08 It's where both husband and wife can say, God has given me a lover who preaches to me every day the gospel,
00:40:09 --> 00:40:20 a spouse who sings to me the story of our salvation, of God having reconciled selflessness through his selfless son for my pleasure and joy.
00:40:20 --> 00:40:33 And the best Christian marriages are pointers to that deep, infinite, fulfilling and final union we will have with Christ in love.
00:40:33 --> 00:41:03 Let's pray.
00:41:03 --> 00:41:09 We praise you, God of love, creator of the universe.
00:41:09 --> 00:41:19 We praise you, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, one person, one God in three persons, for making us to reflect you as male and female.
00:41:20 --> 00:41:27 We thank you for giving us the gift of marriage to display the union we have with you through the saving work of Jesus.
00:41:27 --> 00:41:32 We pray for those whom you have joined in marriage.
00:41:33 --> 00:41:37 That they may know your presence in all the joys and the sorrows.
00:41:37 --> 00:41:39 Amen.
00:41:39 --> 00:41:45 Deepen their love for each other and sustain them in their covenant commitment until they are parted by death
00:41:45 --> 00:41:53 and come into all the rapturous joys and pleasures of your eternal embrace at the great feast of the Lamb.
00:41:54 --> 00:41:56 Speed the day, we pray.
00:41:56 --> 00:41:57 In Jesus' name.
00:41:58 --> 00:41:58 Amen.
00:41:58 --> 00:41:58
00:41:58 --> 00:41:58 Amen.
00:41:58 --> 00:41:59 Amen.
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